IVF pregnancy when did you feel like it was real?

[ttcsolomumtobe]

Hi all,

Doing this solo and have only told a couple of people but currently 6 weeks and 5 days pregnant. I did 3 IUIs, IVF - 1 fresh and 1 FET and it is my FET that has worked.

I've wanted this for so long, it's been 5 years in the planning (delays due to covid and age and moving house) and genuinely thought I'd be jumping for joy when I got a positive pregnancy test but felt fear and worry and a slight "what have I done" moment but mainly numb.

I have had some symptoms such as feeling sick, cramps but nothing sinister yet I'm filled with worry for my early pregnancy scan on Wednesday, 7 weeks mark.

I feel like my motivation and focus is appalling at the moment, I'm work and home life and it's knocking how I feel further. I know I need to be kind to myself and I'm always quick to tell others.

Days literally feel so long and going so slow, feel like I spend most of them trying to prepare for a baby, yet it feels too early or wracked with worry and I think the flipping from one to another is taking its toll. Also feel like articles target me, even my work computer there seems a mass amount of articles about miscarriages/difficult labours/NHS Maternity ward issues and poorly babies. I have got a counselling session booked in today so can speak with someone about my feelings more but would appreciate hearing from people going through or who have gone through it.

At what point did other feel better about the pregnancy and not worrying so much or feel it was a safe point to let yourself accept this?

What should I expect to see on a 7 week scan?

Thanks in advance

@SquashPenguin wow, I bet that blew your mind and did many tests! You hear this story occasionally and it just seems too good to be true doesn't it or like a 1 in a million. Bet you feel on cloud 9 in the moments you can believe it and just shaking your head in shock the rest of the time. Biggest congratulations ever!

Prior to the cycle working I had no problems looking at baby stuff, would happily potter round IKEA and next looking, felt like it kept me hopeful. Yet now I feel like I have no desire to look in those shops.

Did have a hopeful feeling day last Friday and got a couple of Halloween babygrows from the Sainsbury's sale as they were right there on a rail as I walked in the shop but defo wouldn't have felt brave enough to search them out.

This is amazing!! Congratulations, what an incredible story!

My post supposed to be a reply to @SquashPenguin, sorry!

@ttcsolomumtobe it was one hell of a shock! I only did the test to prove to my clinic I wasn’t pregnant so I could get started on norethisterone and trigger a new cycle! I’d chucked the test on the window ledge expecting the same old BFN, glanced over and nearly had a heart attack!

It’s so strange, you put so much time and effort into GETTING pregnant, no one prepares you for BEING pregnant! I think for those who don’t experience infertility, conception is sex and that’s it. Infertility takes over your life. I lived and breathed supplements/ appointments/ needles etc that I was completely stumped! I rang my clinic crying because I didn’t know what to do with myself 🤣

Wishing you a very happy and healthy pregnancy! Keep sneaking peaks at those Halloween babygrows too! It’s real!! Xx

@ttcsolomumtobe it is SUCH a hard balance isn't it? I need to know what's next and what's after that but too afraid to dream about getting that far. There's so many people to tell if it doesn't work isn't there? I only told my MIL and FIL on the understanding that they would manage their own feelings if it didn't work or if we had an early loss. And they said they'd rather have the happiness then the sadness rather than just the sadness. Which is fair.

I've spoken to my clinic more in the last two weeks than I have in this entire process 😂 I've only gone and run out of lubion 🤦 what an idiot. I've got one I can use tomorrow but having to bin off half a day at work on Thursday to rush the 1.5 hour drive to the clinic to get some because I asked them to post me my prescription and it isn't here yet. It's just stress I don't need and have brought on myself.

@SquashPenguin what a great success story! Congratulations! That's so lovely to read.

@SquashPenguin that's so funny how you threw the test on the side. There's nothing worse than having to take a test before starting a cycle, specially when you feel like you know it's guna be a negative so not surprised at the shock. This is the first time I've seen a line on a pregnancy test in person, as never seen anyone else's either and it's just the weirdest thing! Like shit, this is what I've been praying it will look like forever!

That second paragraph is so true, I think you also focus on having a baby, what it would be like to get to that point but forever the 37ish weeks between FET + delivery 😆

Thank you so much for you kind words. I hope your 12 week scan next week goes well.

Curious question, do you think you will find out gender? I always thought I would but have come across a few posts on here where the gender has been wrong and also feel like not many things in life are a true surprised so may just hold out and buy neutral only.

@ttcsolomumtobe OMG yay!!! Congrats!!!!

Not gonna lie, it takes a while for it to feel real! I would say like 2nd trimester while!

But the good news is, time starts FLYING once youre past the 12 week scan.
However, the wait for the first scan is definitely longer than the 2ww! And the wait between that and the 12 week scan is longer still (if you have no other scans in between! When you do at least you get some reassurance along the way and things seem a bit better!)

Hope your scan goes well tomorrow!

@IVFKinster yea, still defo feel like I'm living in 2ish week blocks and anything beyond that I can't think of.

Yea, there's lots of people that would want to know and lots I would want to tell. Think I would likely tell people around middle of December. Don't feel like an Xmas or new year announcement is needed as still a long way to go but would be nice to share with the important people. I WFH so bar a few select colleagues I won't tell anyone, which I think will be funny when I go on maternity and people are baffled as know I'm single 🤣

That's good that you set the in-laws expectations to manage their own feelings.

That's the worse re meds, luckily I'm not having to take those but was insistent that the clinic give me a 3 week supply as I would have been right the morning of scan with the meds and a couple of times I've drop a pessary on the floor when trying to get it in the applicator so just didn't want the stress of running out. Hope you get it sorted and enough to cover you till scan date

@ttcsolomumtobe I don’t want to find out if it’s a boy a girl. I have no preference anyway, but I figured I’m only going to do this once, I might as well enjoy the surprise! It also stops me shopping!

@SquashPenguin very much similar thinking regarding it.

@ASGIRC thank you!!!

Yea I may pay for a 10 week scan depending how I feel. How far along are you now? Hope all is going well x

@ttcsolomumtobe I definitely recommend a 10 week scan to break things up a bit!

Yeah, all going well with me! 19 weeks tomorrow, having a little girl that has started kicking last week!

Im wishing you the best for your scan tomorrow!!!

It was a very gradual process for me. We'd been trying 5 years and had 3 failed transfers before DD, so I didn't trust my body at all.

After the 12 week scan I started to feel better, as the chances of miscarriage or stillbirth are really very low after that. There's a website you can go to which tells you your chance of a live birth based on your specific circumstances and week of pregnancy, which sounds morbid but the data really helped me.

Once movement started was another positive milestone, but the big one for me was 23 weeks. Knowing her chances of viability increasing massively every week that passed made me feel more and more confident.

The first few weeks do drag with the anxiety, but time starts moving very fast after 20 weeks!