Those of you who used a lactation consultant after birth, was it useful?

[Crzy]

Second guessing myself now dp has kicked off saying it’s common sense etc when trying to tell him I had considered booking one for after birth as I’ve never breastfed and with vascospams I expect it won’t be the easiest and don’t want to feel trapped or like a failure if it isn’t. Did anyone use one and find them useful or is he right and it is common sense and im just being stupid?

Firstly your Dp is being a dick and what the feck does he know about feeding?!
No bf is not common sense it maybe the "natural thing" but that doesn't mean that mum and baby don't need to learn how to do it! It's tough going early days and weeks especially with cluster feeding but for many is does ease off and become second nature.

I had infant feeding team specialists (DS1 was in neonatal unit) and saw a lactaction consultant too. It was money well spent she took the time to listen offer practical support and tips.

DS2 was a lot easier but I still got support from a local bf group.

My big regret with DS1 was to not harvest colostrum in advance of birth from 37 weeks, I did it prior to DS2 and the difference was night and day. It gave me the option to calm DS2 slightly with a syringe so he would feed calmly.

it didn't help me in that nothing would and turned out I just can't breastfeed. but it was certainly worth the try as breastfeeding turned out to be much more difficult than I imagined. maybe if I had seen one immediately after birth I would have had a more positive outcome, as I only saw one after about 10 days.

I had a daughter via C-section whilst living abroad. No family to help, no experience of children or friends with babies I could ask and whilst the staff in the hospital were very lovely, they just didn't help with that kind of thing. I was really struggling to get my daughter to latch and by chance, the wife of my husband's colleague did a courtesy visit to me in hospital and found me mid-meltdown and daughter screaming. She immediately called her friend who happened to be a lactation consultant and who came and just helped me position myself and my daughter better and that made all the difference. Can't recommend having an expert to put the little things right enough. Ignore your "D"P and get one booked. If all goes well and you just click with your baby, no harm done but having someone calm and expert is priceless.

Massively helpful here. She diagnosed tongue tie (after NICU nurses had said there wasn’t one), and fast let down, got the TT sorted and advice to help with the let down. Transformed feeding and DD jumped a few centiles in weight. Also helped with sleep.

Have to say though she was a particularly good one (has since written books/set up an agency/generally become a bit of an expert in the field) I don’t know if they are all this good.

My sister had one and she found it completely turned breast feeding around for her.

It was a game changer, couldn't recommend her more. I had twins and they both had tongue ties, so not the most straightforward situation!

No, it did not.

I didn't, I think due to guilt. But I went to local feeding groups on a weekly basis, they were ok but nowhere near as helpful. Breastfeeding was really important for me personally, and I found it really fucking hard. If I were to have another baby a lactation consultant would be the first thing I booked.

What's your partner's real issue, cost?

It’s really difficult and it’s the sort of knowledge that needs to be passed down from person to person. You can’t learn it from books.

Do look for a breastfeeding support group like La Leche League, and it can’t hurt to have investigated some lactation consultants in case you do need one.

I really struggled with breastfeeding and had a lot of pain. Breastfeeding consultants at my local breastfeeding support group have gripped a lot.

There’s so many variables around breastfeeding- you and your baby’s mouth might be a perfect match, or they might not.

Good luck, and well done for thinking ahead.

I found it terribly difficult first thing around and my lactation consultant was worth her weight in gold. She was encouraging, she explained a lot, she checked latch, she gave advice, and more than anything else she let me forgive myself when it wasn't right for me. I didn't bf for very many weeks but without her I'd have given up within a few days. And her info meant that next time I was prepared, and I was successful.

Throw it back in your partner's face, ask him how much of the breast should be in the baby's mouth? What happens if it's only the nipple? Where should baby's nose be? Their chin? Can he explain the significance of the soft palate? How will he know if the latch is bad? What's the best positioning for a blocked duct? How will he know if baby is getting enough milk to keep him healthy????

Then remind him that men CAN induce lactation and you'll order the hormones for him online so that he can grow the boobs to do it himself.

In all seriousness, since you probably don't want to start a fight, gently tell him that breastfeeding is nothing like sucking on a straw, latching can be complicated so it's really not common sense, and that you do have unique challenges so you need to make sure baby will actually have enough to eat (this last bit is hopefully so he sees it's about baby's health, not about your comfort). My gut feeling for YOU is that you won't have even half the issues. But it is a skill to learn, and it isn't magically natural, babies do know how try, but that doesn't mean they'll attach in a comfy way, we mums need to be taught.

Then begin with asking your midwife (now) about breastfeeding support. Midwives themselves offer this to some extent and are there to help you, and will signpost you to a lactation consultant (probably also NHS & free) if there are tricky times in the beginning. Normally they wouldn't kick you out of the hospital until you're able to get baby latched ok and have fed them. I know this because... dun dun dun... despite my "success" with last kiddo, I've since had surgery on my breast, meaning I don't know how it will go, and when I asked if I was likely to have trouble, she told me there's bespoke support! Really glad I asked now so that I know I won't be abandoned. LOTS of us find it tricky. You are not alone and not silly in the least.

Mine was useless. Stupid zoom consultations during Covid.

One of the midwives was awesome, most were good, and one was a bitch.

I’d wait until after the birth if I were you because it may not be necessary. I’d also tell your DH that he clearly doesn’t have any common sense or he would know better than to say that.

I didn't need one, but my husband was basically the one who helped our son latch properly, because I was in lots of pain and have awkward boobs, so it was easier for him to focus on what the baby needed.

Since your partner seems like a dick, I think a consultant would be a good substitute.

Absolutely saved us. Dd had a poor latch and was losing weight. Without their support we would have had health professionals recommending formula. Instead we had a very detailed combination of syringe feeding (tube taped to breast and dad pushes plunger every time baby sucks), and then graduating to an SNS all with the use of a nipple shield. I pumped to fill the syringes and the sns.

By 6 weeks we were breastfeeding normally and like it was totally easy.

it was a challenging first week, but having that support was amazing. We worked with a team practice so there were staff available 24/7 if there were emergencies on evenings and weekends. All the lactation consultants were IBCLC certified. Anyone can call themselves a lactation consultant, but it helps to find someone who has actual education and training.

Yes very. I think she was well worth the money. I also had a night nanny which allowed me to pump while dozing. Thoroughly recommend

I had one because it was a resource offered by my hospital so I decided to take advantage. To be honest I didn’t find her good and found the midwives and health visitor much better. However I certainly think you are doing the right thing.

Tell your DP to stay in his lane. As a PP said, breastfeeding is natural but it’s generally not easy or ‘common sense’ at the start. I hope he doesn’t have any more gems like that to offer.

It's really not your DPs business
There's more to it than common sense.

I didn't have an extensive consultation service but my city has some La Leche League volunteers who saw me for free at short notice when I was feeling incapable. That was amazingly helpful. If I had had a second baby I would have prebooked whatever I could because you don't want to wait till you are having trouble if there's something you can do to prepare, every baby, every mum and every boob is different and it doesn't always all jigsaw together.

book one. I booked one for about 5/6days in before baby was here (had a c section so knew what date to book her for) as I was so worried about having issues with BF. As it happens I was very lucky I had none of the classic issues (latching/tongue tie/supply stuff), baby was feeding very well, but it was still so helpful to have someone come and watch me feed to reassure me I was doing to right, and fo give me s few tips. You don’t get much attention in hospital (at least I didn’t, at a busy London hospital) so it was nice fo have someone focus on just me

I want to throw my breast pump at anyone who claims that establishing breastfeeding is easy or common sense. Your partner knows nothing about the subject and I hope he realizes it soon otherwise you won't get any support from him.
My baby's latch was so painful I never fed for more than 5 seconds. I had a feeling of failure so I didn't book a lactation consultant, and resorted to exclusive pumping. Later on I went to a breastfeeding workshop organized by a IBCLC about pumping (cheaper than a private consultation), and it was so helpful I regretted not consulting with her earlier on.
Establishing breastfeeding is hard enough, if your partner is unsupportive and uneducated about it, the chances of succeeding are even lower.

I had one because it was a resource offered by my hospital so I decided to take advantage.

Oh yes, my hospital had an in house breastfeeding counsellor. Utterly useless with hindsight, made lots of encouraging noises but didn’t really look at latch or in DD’s mouth. The private lactation consultant was totally different.

Please try to reframe the feeling of being 'trapped' or a 'failure. Fed is best.

I did a free Breastfeeding Supporters Network course before I had my son to prepare for feeding.

It's common sense if you live in the West with vasospasm. Most GPs, HV and MW have NO breastfeeding training and will look at you like you're mad if you talk about vasospasm and just tell you to pump or switch to formula.

I have Reynauds and am feeding two at the minute (toddler and infant) so it's possible and enjoyable even, but without the right expertise I wouldn't have made it six weeks with either of them!

How did you manage the vasospasm out of interest @Flittingaboutagain ?

Lots of layers, occasional BP medication in Winter, compresses I put in the microwave that sit in the bra before a feed.

It's actually not common sense and for lots of women, it is really difficult! I used a lactation specialist with both my dc and I don't think I could have carried on breastfeeding without her help. They have so much knowledge and offer practical hands-on (literally hands-on your breasts) support that you can't just read in a book.

Oh dear, this has given me a horrible flashback... three days PP, back in hospital because DS1 had lost so much weight from breastfeeding not working. The husband of the woman in the next bed to me was insisting that his wife didn't need any help with breastfeeding and should be discharged immediately.

"She's not fucking stupid! We'll look it up on YouTube when we get home!"

It's sort of funny now, but I cried and cried.

I booked a private lactation consultant and she was wonderful.