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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Pregnancy- so scared

8 replies

Anna2024 · 02/11/2023 14:07

I am absolutely desperate. 2 months ago my husband died in a car accident. I fell into a severe depression. I drank every day, smoked a lot (thc), took tranquilizers and also cocaine. I treated myself self-destructively. Last week I found out I was 11 weeks pregnant. Why didn't I find out sooner? Because I was told I couldn't have children because of the operation when I was a teenager. Then, a month ago, I had a "menstrual bleed" which I now know was a spontaneous bleed. Later, because of the accident, I didn't even think about pregnancy, I cried from morning till night. Last week, however, I started to think that I hadn't had a menstruation for a month and took a test. I immediately called my gynaecologist, who ordered me to have all the tests and an ultrasound, because it was the 11th week. The blood test, urine test and ultrasound showed that everything was fine with the baby. I think that I have been a wreck myself these last three months, when I have been so nasty to myself. I read everywhere that the most critical period for organ damage etc. is 3 months. Because that is when the organs are done. But I myself smoked a box a day, drank a bottle of wine, smoked marijuhana, took coke 10 times, ate tranquillisers... In a way I wanted to kill myself. Now that I know I am carrying a miracle, a part of my husband, I want to live. But this child will never be norm
What if all his organs are unhealed? What if he has mental problems? Is there a story of someone abusing drugs and alcohol in the first 3 months and the child is normal? I would give anything for him to be healthy. I will not be able to do anything more. I am so desperate.

OP posts:
mrboombasticwhy · 02/11/2023 14:10

F

newwings · 02/11/2023 14:13

Maybe have extra tests done at the appropriate times? I know of two cousins alive and healthy born to two separate mothers who abused heroine and smoked, you name it.

Sa11yCinnamon · 02/11/2023 14:45

I cannot imagine what you've been through. Please try not to panic, I know people who've found out they were pregnant later than you and done all sorts in the meantime, the main thing is that you stop now. Your placenta becomes fully formed between 10-12 weeks and it's at that point that anything you consume passes directly to the baby. Wishing you all the best x

Safxxx · 02/11/2023 15:07

Sorry for your husbands loss 😔 God has blessed you with this miracle baby because he knew it will be a reason for you to start living again and not destroy yourself. You were not meant to know so it's not your faul. Just look after yourself and your baby from now on, that's all what matters ❤️ congratulations hopefully this baby will bring joy in to your life again 🙏

KatieJ345 · 02/11/2023 19:36

So sorry for your loss. You didn’t know you were pregnant and didn’t think you could have children so there is no point in being cruel to yourself over this. As others have said, the placenta is forming now so if you live healthily from this point, hopefully the baby can be okay. I would speak to your midwife to see if there are any other tests you could get later on.

princefamilypaper · 02/11/2023 21:42

I'm so so sorry for your loss. Please don't be hard on yourself you had no way of knowing and were just trying to get through this awful thing that had happened to you. I know a few people who haven't known they were pregnant the entire way through pregnancy and drank/smoked/drugged and the babies were absolutely fine. I really really hope everything's okay for you you've been through so much!xx

Bumblingonby · 02/11/2023 21:54

You poor thing. As others have said, go easy on yourself. The last thing you should be feeling right now is guilt, you couldn't have known. At least now you're 11 weeks in, you can have a scan immediately to see if anything is really obviously wrong, as the baby is developed enough to see that now, and hopefully you will be able to see an obstetrician who can discuss risks etc with you as a professional. Hopefully that can make you feel better. Lots of people do lots of things when they don't know or don't care that they're pregnant and still have healthy babies. Also hopefully your midwife team will be able to set you up with mental health help- mine have been wonderful for that. Good luck and a big virtual hug.

fixies · 03/11/2023 08:22

You didn't know you could have kids! Then you lost your husband. Quite frankly 2 months isn't a lot of time and I don't know how you r managed to stop drinking etc.

No one will judge you. Be honest wit the doctors and take it from there. People who do this all through pregnancy go on to have healthy babies. So it's likely you will too.

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