Pregnancy

[Amae]

Hi guys,

Posting as I am just at a bit of a loss at the moment and it is really starting to get me down.

Me and DH have a DD (6), I am currently 6 months pregnant and DD hasn't taken the news well at all. All she ever says is how much she hates the baby, wishes it wasn't happening etc. We understand the fact she's had us all to herself for her whole life and I know she's worried about 'losing our love' because she's told friends at school (who's mum told me) 😢 and we constantly reassure her nothing will change in terms of how much we love her etc.

We weren't going to find out the sex but she said she wanted to know so we thought it might help her adjust if she knows what to expect, we let her find out at the same time we did yesterday- she said she wanted a brother but turns out we are having another girl ❤️ this didn't go down well at all, she sobbed and sobbed (genuinely upset tears not just doing it for attention etc, I could tell she really was devastated) and completely ruined the moment of us finding out (obviously) as we really had a tiny hope it would have been a happy moment for her.

Anyway, I reached my breaking point yesterday and have cried a lot since, I feel like I've let her down by even being pregnant in the first place
As she so clearly doesn't want a sister .. then I cry because I feel guilty for crying about my unborn baby.. it's just a real shit show of emotions for me at the moment and I don't really want other people to know how I am feeling so have turned here in the hope someone can offer me reassurance that this will get better and she will adjust?

Just to add- she's genuinely a sweet little soul and really loves the other babies in the family which is why this has taken me back so much.

trying to help as it’s my first pregnancy. Circumstance not entirely the same.

on a positive note, glad you let your emotion go and gave it a good cry. I had times being upset during pregnancy and the cry helped. I also realised it is potentially the hormones were at play. Being emotional is norm and part of the process.

in my experience, we had tried to conceive for four years , and during those four years weren’t pleasant when hear people around us had babies (especially covid times!). We happy for our friends but disappointed to ourselves. Then fortunately now fell pregnant. I feel to fell pregnant is a blessing already - regardless a boy or girl.

It maybe tricky to translate the concept to your little one. But just want to remind you the bigger picture a new life is such blessing and similarly, to your little one to have a sibling it’s literally a forever best friend. You should be proud of yourself getting this far!!

hope it helps!!