Slightly unhelpful midwife

[MamaMeggie]

I’ll start by saying I haven’t actually had the same midwife for the majority of my appointments. I always had someone different due to staffing issues, which I was absolutely fine with and though I had someone different most visits I felt satisfied afterwards.
A few weeks ago I had a lady that I hadn’t had yet, and she seemed a bit dismissing, judgemental and rushed. The visit was overall fine and I just thought she maybe wasn’t as friendly as others. Forward 2 weeks for my next check and it’s the same lady again, which I subconsciously already felt a bit ugh about when I saw her.
She did my wee sample and said nothing, then did my blood pressure and also said nothing, I had to ask if they were okay (mother had preeclampsia so I’m classed as high risk and had some rise in blood pressure over last few weeks). I know they would say something if it was concerning but up until now I’d been kept very in the loop with readings etc.
She then seemed to rush straight into “hop up on the bed for me”, had a feel but didn’t state anything regarding head placement, though had previously at 36 weeks said baby was engaged and I was looking forward to knowing if she had moved down any further. Also whether she was still in a good position as have felt a lot of shifting and she’s very lopsided, which midwife did note that she was preferring the left side and seemed sideways. Did the heart check quite quickly but said it sounded perfect. I only measured 37 at 38 so she’s now referred for a growth scan tomorrow, which she seemed quite casual about, and again I assume this means there aren’t major concerns but it’s not the most reassuring. She then jumped straight into booking my next appointment and then was very “I’ll see you then”, she didn’t ask if I had any questions at all and I don’t appear to have been given any further information on the coming weeks. I had to say that I had some questions, and felt very awkward about asking when it seemed as though for her the appointment had ended. She didn’t really answer the questions with anything informative so it seemed a bit pointless asking tbh.
I know maybe this all seems standard practice and I just had very informative and attentive midwives in previous appointments but I can’t help feel a bit downhearted by it. I do know I only have a few more appointments left, if that.
Since she was quite sparse on any information I looked forward to the update on my badger notes for the info, but it uploaded and it’s all blank! Is there any way I can call up and ask for the info that was recorded? Added to how I felt the visit was I’m a bit down about not even getting to know any information from the visit :(

Maybe I’m just being a bit expectant? Just feeling deflated a little, especially with now having the growth scan

If you have a phone number for your midwife team you could ring them and ask/leave a message as to why the most recent appointment information has not been uploaded correctly.

I would think the growth scan is really just precautionary, presumably they have a policy that any woman measuring under is sent for one.

The appointments really are medical check ups, rather than anything else. Obviously questions should be answered, and time allowed for you to ask them, but they are usually busy and appointment times are short.

What did you ask that you felt wasn't answered properly?

There are good midwives and then there a bad midwives, the same as in any profession really. The midwife I saw for my son was abysmal. She lost my samples, she would tick things off saying she’d spoken to me about them when she hadn’t and she too was always in a rush and seemed very cold. This time around she’s left thankfully so I’m seeing a different midwife and it really does makes the world of difference. She’s very warm and explains things well. I feel as though I could confide in her about my worries which is how it should be.

im sorry you’ve had a bad experience as I understand the feeling all too well. I was referred for a growth scan last time too but it’s just standard procedure if the measurements are a little off. It’s very common and almost always nothing to worry about. Just see it as an extra chance to see you baby :) I hope it all goes well.

I find that you have to be prepared to be proactive and push a bit, especially when there are staffing issues and people are feeling under pressure. Whoever is acting as a birth partner needs to be prepped in order to speak up as well, as in my experience midwives don't really look at the birth plan. Don't expect any midwife to be a magical, comforting angel but do expect professionalism. I hope that doesn't sound negative, I'm just being realistic!

I think she's done all the necessary stuff and it's all fine. Honestly tonnes of healthcare workers are just hanging by a thread, expecting them to be jolly or friendly all the time when it's hard enough just being safe and competent with everything else going on is maybe a bit much? I am glad all is going well with your pregnancy

@Sorrento79 sorry but no absolutely not. That is part of the job, it's not just ticking boxes to say they've done this, this and this. Being friendly, approachable, giving space for questions, explaining things and giving feedback on their assessments is an essential part of appointments and it's not acceptable to think it's too much for them to do this.

Not ideal or good no, but the reality for a lot of the time.

Agree, isn’t ideal as precious and anxious time for you but it is often extremely challenging for midwives to not only give the good quality clinical care she sounds like she did give but wonderful communication and time to discuss issues at any length on top. Midwives may have 12-20 women they’re reviewing in a single clinic, sometimes with as little as 15 minutes per an appointment and rarely get chance for lunch etc. The midwife was probably just so focussed on everything she needed to do in such a short amount of time. It does take a lot of skill to do all the essential elements of the job and try and make women feel listened to and reassured and treated as an individual etc when the workload so high and so little time. It will help if the midwife is very experienced as she will have built up strategies to do this but still but many find not being able to so disheartening, it’s the number one reason midwives leave the profession (above pay etc). It’s great you felt like you had really good care from the other midwives and hopefully you’ll have a better experience with this midwife next time. Definitely just say ‘can I ask?’ Same on the postnatal ward, if it’s extremely busy then the midwives probably won’t have time to do more than a routine daily check but definitely let them know if you extra need help. Women usually say care on the delivery suite is fantastic, exactly the same midwives but care is usually allocated 1:1 so makes much easier to make women feel well cared for