Third pregnancy!!!

[KSHF23]

Just found out 1 week ago i am 5 weeks pregnany with my Third!! I am so scared an nervous what to do and just cant come to a conclusion, my kids are 9 and 5 just now and we are settled. Have a large family holiday booked which would be unable to attend as will be due then, kids already know and are so excited!!

I currently have a 2 bedroom house which obv would need to move already looking to currently move anyway, i have a stabl3 job a supportive family not financially well off but dont struggle, prev had a misscarriage and an abortion over a year ago as was just not the right time.

I feel so silly back in this same scenario again how stupid reallly i know so please dont judge 😔
I really dont know what to do for the best i dont want to let my kids down by takint there holiday away from them but another termination fills me with dread and i just cant seem to see a viable reason for it!!!

It’s going to be okay! Your children sound excited about another sibling; they’re also plenty old enough to understand why the holiday will have to be changed into something else, and I’m sure they’ll be happy with another alternative. (Maybe a “sibling baby moon” in your second trimester, when energy is usually up a bit more and you could do a fun little overnight getaway that’s more geared for their enjoyment?)

Don’t stress about moving right now either!! Remember how they hang out in your room for a good bit when they’re babies anyways… and you’re a few years out from them needing more space. We’re so programmed about what’s “necessary” nowadays that we forget that a happy family matters more than room size. My MiL’s family had 8 children in a VERY small house and - while each certainly has their moments they didn’t appreciate growing up - I’ve never heard ANY of the (all now adult) children speak negatively of room sharing.

It’s all so new right now… give yourself time to adjust. 💐

Thank you!! I have just realised that post looks like the kids are happy about the baby what i meant was they were happy and excited about the holiday, they dont know about the baby yet as unsure what to do! I still cant come to a conclusion. I have called and have a telephone consultation tomorrow but i just dont know what to do for the best.

Thanks

@KSHF23 may I ask what you decided to do in the end? I am in a very similar situation now and just don’t know what to do! ☹️

I hear you.
I'm pregnant with an unplanned third (7 weeks), my children are 8 and almost 3 and I'm literally having a meltdown 🤣
We have a trip away booked at the end of the year which I will need to cancel, but I've only paid the deposit so not the end of the world.
We are in a 3 bed, but it's a small terrace with one bathroom.
I'm feeling very detached and emotional atm, but I've been suffering from constant nausea for the last week as well.
It's so good to hear other mums who are expecting 'unexpected' thirds are also feeling the same as me.

@Mum2211 just realised I replied to an older thread but never mind, see my previous comment as I am in the same boat 🤣

@KSHF23 that’s the exact same ages my oldest two children were when we had our 3rd. Admittedly our DC3 was planned but I can honestly say although it is hard having a 3rd it’s so rewarding too and I do appreciate having a younger one now as our eldest is at high school and a teenager. Wishing you lots of happiness whatever you decide ❤️

This is so hard OP - it sounds like you're really ambivalent as you've got pregnant twice since having your two kids. So some deep down part of you must really want this even if it doesn't seem sensible on paper? Maybe listen to that part - if you can't face another termination then you have your answer. It sounds like you would cope. Your kids won't mind about the holiday- I'm sure they'll be excited about a new sibling.

Unless you support your children picking nonbinary genders, whatever is the third can at some point share room with same sex sibling. You amd dad can sleep in livinv room.
And first few years baby can sleep in your room.
Check if you can get some money from cancelled holliday and go somewhere where you don't need massive upfront booking and can go in third trimester.

Congratulations, tbh I would really like one more!

I'm 30 weeks with our surprise third, DD is 9 and DS is 6. It took as a long time to get our head around things as we are right in the middle of a huge renovation and I'm in my first year of a nursing degree apprenticeship but things do all work out over time.

We also had a holiday booked for when baby would be 12 weeks old and to add him onto our booking would've cost another £1500. It's for my best friends wedding and I'm a bridesmaid so we couldn't change the dates but if you've booked with TUI they gave me the option to change the holiday to any cheaper hotel for those dates or to transfer what I'd already paid to another booking. This could be for the year after if we wanted. Might be worth looking into your options and speaking to the holiday company? We have changed to a cheaper hotel and even taking into consideration the admin fee of £50 per person and £45 to add baby on we have only paid an extra £100.

Babies really don't need a lot when they are tiny and it wouldn't be the end of the world to have your children sharing rooms for a small amount of time. Our baby dosent have a room at all as we haven't built it! Luckily our room is big enough to fit a full sized cot if he needs to stay in for that long and I've got 1 chest of drawers to keep all his things in. I'm only buying up to 3 months clothing initially and will buy the rest as he grows out of the smaller sizes to try and keep his stuff to a minimum. Also with him being the third you see less need to over buy as you remember how quickly they grow out of things.

Because my degree is through an apprenticeships and im still with my NHS employer I will get full NHS maternity and can finish my first year in time to go on maternity and come back on the next cohort. Nursery funded hours are now from 9 months so you would have that as an option to use if you still wanted to go back to work

Good luck OP, you can make this work x