Has anyone ever sturggled to bond with their unborn baby?

[charlotte121]

Im 28 weeks pg with baby number 2. Have ds who is 9 months old and Im bessoted with. Understandably things are quite stressful as I feel like I have been pregnant forever.
Thing is when i was expecting ds I was really over protective of him, and I really enjoyed the process of being pregnant. Loved my bump, used to sing and talk to him etc. This time around Im just a misserable git. Im fed up of being fat... and dont have any of the same feelings of love and caring for the baby as i did with ds. I keep trying to ratiionalise why this is... my circumstances have changed as Im not longer with xp and I have moved out of my mums house into my own flat, stress with uni, fear of coping with 2 very young children on my own... but i just cant figure it out and dont know how to bond with the unborn baby.
Sometimes I even feel resentful towards the unborn baby as I just dont have a life anymore. All my friends are out having fun and im in at home playing mummy. I feel awful for having these feelings!
Has anyone else ever gone through this. I feel so guilty, although the baby wasnt planned I would never ever consider an abortion and I should be happy. Many people have to heartbreak of not being aboe to have children. What the hell is wrong with me??? Is this normal?

oh yes - completely normal .
I too am PG with number two and I do have the occasional flash of looking forward to knowing what the new baby is like etc but for the most part, I hate being PG, feel like poo and am NOT looking forward to what I have in my head is going to be a million times more tiring etc. Having said that - two people have said to me that having two is easier than being PG and having one. We will be fine and I think it's very hard to imagine life with someone we haven't met yet....

Oh, you are completely normal! I have one ds and though we wanted him, I hated being pg. It didn't help that my best friend is a total earth mother - in the best possible way! - and went on about the miracle of pg, etc, etc, when all I wanted to do was puke, cry or sleep! Remember too that there is such a thing as ante-natal depression and it is common. If you are feeling really down, talk to your mw or gp and ask fo rsome help. Don't be too hard on yourself too!

Yeh... Perhaps its also that when i was pg with ds I could focus all my attention on that where as now I already have him to be focused on and it doesnt give me much chance to think of the new baby. I also find it really hard to think that i could love someone else as much i do my son and i dont want to love him any less. god im such a freak! Nice to know im not alone tho.

There's 15 months between my two, and I was so determined that No. 1 was going to be pushed out by No. 2, my focus was certainly on the little one I had with me!

Dd was such an easy baby compared to her brother, and bonding was no problem when she was born.

At age 14, I'm about to send her back though!!!

Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy .

Sorry - wasn't!

Completely normal IMO. I remember when I was heavily pregnant with DS2 feeling incredibly guilty that DS1 wasn't going to be my 'baby' anymore. It soon passes. Congrats by the way and good luck with everything

I felt different with the second pregnancy too. I didn't enjoy it as much, I felt old (even though I'm not old) I was probably just more tired and not as fit beforehand. Other pressures (not pregnancy-related) got to me too.

I think it's natural to feel different and perhaps not so excited as the first time. BUT as soon as my beautiful little baby number 2 arrived I felt a whole lot better! She is wonderful.

Completely normal. When I was pregnant with dd I focused 100% on pregnancy, with ds I already had dd to look after so my focus was there rather than the pregnancy. It did take me about 6 weeks after the birth to bond with him but the love was there from the start