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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Negative booking in appointment.

3 replies

MrsB2005 · 30/10/2023 10:18

Hi Ladies,

I didnt want to bring a "downer" to the due date thread, so thought I would do my own.

Abit of background first ... Hubby & I had talked about TTC for well over a year given that our current 3 were all getting older and did we really want to go back to the baby days and all the changes a new baby would bring to our family setup.

Fast forward to July and I have the implant remove, and fall pregnant first cycle - a huge shock for both of us as we honestly thought we would have to wait months like previous pregnancies.

I have continued to feel very up and down emotionally, this pregnancy seems alot harder than previously, sickness, tiredness, issues with my asthma etc.

Fast forward to last week, I had my booking in appointment. We get there, and are told she was running late, no problem these things happen ... an hour later, I ask if they knew roughly when I would be seen (more due to childcare / other children than anything else), the lady didnt know but would go and find out ... comes back and says the midwife had forgotten about my appointment and had left to start home visits.
Eventually another midwife agrees to do my appointment and so we go in and the first thing she asks is how I feel about the pregnancy, I state I'm happy but currently spend alot of my time worrying about how things are going to change and a sense of mum guilt, is this whats best for our family. She then says perhaps we should end the appointment untill I know if I want to terminate the pregnancy.
My husband says thats not what I was getting at and to please continue the appointment - which she duly did but at every turn I felt like she was having a dig / questioning my answers etc (I appreciate that my hormones may be blowing this way out of proportion but even hubby was rather annoyed). She mentioned she books in the scan but the appointment felt rushed and to be honest I just wanted to get home, I completely forgot to ask her about scans - I do have my next midwife appointment date.

Do most people receive their scan dates by letter (We see midwife at the local community hospital but have to go to the main hospital for scans etc) or do I need to phone up and ask?

I'm terrified of having to speak to her again if I'm honest!

Sorry its so long and thanks for letting me ramble on!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
SarahBowie · 30/10/2023 10:54

I’m sorry to hear you had a bad experience at your appointment, my partner and I didn’t have the best first appointment either. When we were going over the medical history he was interrogated in quite a humiliating way because he’s not got a relationship with his biological dad due to him walking out before my partner was born. The midwife kept saying how he’d have to find the medical history information out! Not great as you can imagine. She also failed to tell me I was on an amber care plan pathway because of my age and would need extra scans.

Hopefully to try and give you some relief though, it was a holiday cover midwife that saw us for the first appointment and when I went back for my bloods I met my normal midwife and she couldn’t have been nicer so hopefully you have a better second appointment!

TTCbaby2023 · 30/10/2023 10:57

I am sorry to hear that it wasn't a positive experience and I hope the next appointment will be better. Midwifes are usually very caring so I am surprised with this.
As for the 12 week scan, I never received any letter. All my appointments show up on the Badger app (not sure whether this is something used in all trusts) so I just check there.

Sa11yCinnamon · 30/10/2023 11:48

I'm really sorry that was your experience, I'd feel exactly the same as you. Really hope it's a 'blip' and you experience far more positive care from here on!

No advice on scans sorry as I was given my 12 week when I phoned to register, but definitely check the Badger notes app if you have it.

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