Am I doing something wrong?

[Lithgow2000]

Hey everyone

To be blunt, my mental health is on the floor at the moment. I'm struggling with so many things and am now desperate for some support with second trimester bleeding which has really tipped me over the edge.

I've tried facebook pages, forums and posting on here. A few lovely people here responded but that's it really. I've since had more information on my situation so asked for some advice and no responses at all. I've seen lots of engagement on some older posts I found. Basically i'm just wondering if i'm using the app properly as i'm fairly new to it. I list it under pregnancy, is that right? I couldn't see another option for threatened loss.

If anyone knows of somewhere else I can get some support please let me know. This is such a hard and lonely time and I don't know where to turn. I have tried my midwife but she really wasn't too interested.

The hospital doctors checked me over last Friday but didn't tell me what they'd found. Didn't explain any results. I had to ask my midwife who read a few notes to me and was done. It's so sad that nobody seems to consider mental health when it comes to early pregnancy problems. I'm just desperate for someone to talk to who perhaps might understand.

Thanks in advance.

If what you need is mental health support, I think your best bet would be to ask your GP if it is possible for you to be referred to a midwife with a specialism in mental health. Many trusts have them. I was supported by one during my pregnancy and she was brilliant. I saw her for all my appointments and she explained everything really clearly and was a great source of support.

Thank you. Sadly it would be weeks before I can speak to a GP. I feel really let down by the healthcare system and it makes me scared for the upcoming weeks/months.

Thank you for replying. At least I know I'm using the app correctly 😅

My borough has a talking service that prioritises pregnant women/new parents so you’re able to access mental health support without a GP referral. Can you investigate if yours has that? You could also try calling your local health visitor team, they are very hot on maternal mental health where I am, so they may have some advice on how you can get support.

Thank you so much, I'll definitely look into this. Very helpful, I appreciate it

How far along are you and how long is it until your next midwife appointment? It sounds like you need to tell them you are struggling mentally and insist they refer you to the perinatal mental health midwifery team who deal with supporting this kind of thing. Every trust should have one and you shouldn't have to wait weeks to see them.

Bleeding at any gestation is incredibly distressing and can really play with your mental health, I have also experienced this and felt that I also needed some additional support.

The good news is they have at least checked you physically recently and understandably your frustated they didn't explain to you properly what they found/didn't find, but they wouldnt have just let you go if they found anything worrying, I assume they didn't refer you to any further appointments or checks?

You have really comforted me with your responses and I can't thank you enough.

I'm 14 weeks soon and my next appointment is in 3 weeks. As usual everything in life has gone wrong at once and it's just so lonely and overwhelming.

It seems the only thing they could find was a small area of bleeding in the womb. It's been 5 days and the spotting hasn't progressed but hasn't stopped either. It was just after our 12 week scan where everything looked great and the 'wait and see' and threatened miscarriage term is just incredibly hard. I'm so sorry if you had to go through it too. I found in my first trimester that everyone said it was normal and not to worry but this time it's all been very negative. Thanks again for your time ❤️

Sorry you're feeling this way OP 😞 it is so incredibly hard and lonely being pregnant sometimes. It's extra hard when you feel like no one really wants to help or cares, especially those who should be sign posting you to other places for extra help.

Definitely see if there is a self referral therapy service in your area - I think they're often called 'Healthy Minds' across the trusts that do have them, and as a PP said they prioritise pregnant ladies and new Mums. I went through this process in my first pregnancy when I had some second trimester bleeding. I'd had two previous miscarriages so my anxiety was already incredibly high and it sent me over the edge. I'm now currently 24 weeks with my second baby and still use a lot of the techniques when I feel my anxiety increasing - I had bleeding again at exactly the same stage of pregnancy at 15 weeks and I could feel myself slipping into how I felt before.

Last time I also got put in touch with a mental health midwife who specialised in helping mums diagnosed with prenatal anxiety - it would also be worth seeing if your trust has something similar too. If you can get hold of your midwife to ask for that referral, please don't wait until your next appointment, get the ball rolling asap. I've been offered this again with the same lady as before if I feel I need it this time. She came to see me when I was in labour and after I gave birth last time too, and even helped sign post me on where to go to process everything after having DS, she was truly lovely.

I hope you're able to access the help required and start to feel better soon ❤️

@Lithgow2000 at 14 weeks you're still quite early, and bleeds aren't uncommon. It's no bad thing they found the source of a small bleed, these tend to take a while to resolve so it's probably expected that you are still spotting. Hopefully it will resolve in a week or two.

I also got a 'threatened miscarriage' diagnosis thrown around from my early pregnancy unit, so I know how upsetting it is, but really all it means is that you're bleeding (which you already know) but you aren't actually having a miscarriage currently. I didn't find it a very helpful term when really they could just say yes your bleeding but you aren't currently having a miscarriage.

For what it's worth I've made it to 24+4 so far with near constant bleeding throughout the first and most of second trimester and a minor mental breakdown at around week 12 because of it 😅. You've got this, you can do it :)

This is so incredibly helpful. I can't thank you enough. And luckily my health board does have this service which is amazing, even if they don't advertise it. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope you have a more relaxing time for the remainder x

You're such an angel thank you so much. I had been quite positive going into the hospital since i knew it was light and unpainful (i've had a previous mc and know how it feels) but honestly the doctors were just so negative, didn't give me any reassurance or advice on what to expect. And as I was going out the door, one of them told me just to pray. It's just made me so sad after seeing my little one on the screen healthy and oblivious 😞

Thanks so much for sharing. My health board do have a maternity mental health unit and i will enquire about being referred to them. I feel like a weight has been lifted already so thank you again x

I think I had a double mc at different stages with my second pregnancy (twins?). It was complicated, uncertain and truly awful.

I had a massive bleed in my third pregnancy (at around 8 weeks) which was terrifying but I went on to have a successful pregnancy.

I bled lightly for weeks with my fourth pregnancy but, again, had a successful pregnancy.

It really is terrifying when you're bleeding because you're in a constant state of high anxiety. You just can't relax not knowing what's happening, so I really feel for you.

I'm so sorry you've been through alot.
The bleeding after a loss is even tougher isn't it. Again, thanks for some much needed support and making me feel less alone