Telling friend about birth of baby after their loss

[Fluffysockswizzard]

Just after some advice. 2 years ago our friends baby was unfortunately born sleeping at 25 weeks.

Since it happened, they have been talking to us/meeting up etc and confiding in us however since we told them I was pregnant they have pulled away.

We have never talked about the pregnancy to them other than to just say we are expecting on a text message. (Read a thread on here about how a text is better than saying it on the phone/face to face) we completely understand them not wanting to talk to us now and we don't want to cause more hurt

The husband admitted to my husband that the day we announced it, the wife didn't take it well and ended up in a physical altercation with her husband out of anger and he requested for us to avoid talking about pregnancy to her which we of course did

My question is though when the baby is born, how do we go about it? Just say it on a text? We do not want to cause more hurt or bring up those feelings for them/be the reason they argue and fight. A part of me just doesn't want to say anything at all or for my dh to just say it to the husband only

Would appreciate your advice

@Madamlulu thank you so much for your reply. I am terribly sorry you went through this. That's a great suggestion and we will remember if we have talks in the future to acknowlege their pain and for them to know we will never forget it regardless of our joy

We have taken a step back but just enough for them to feel we aren't smothering them with news they can do without right this moment

@BelleEtoile you are right, the pain of the father is often forgotten and i'm very glad that our husbands still talk about things and they feel they can. We will certainly keep the channels open through DH. I guess I didn't think about the fact that they may well have been worried for me throughout knowing things can go wrong. We are still very worried and anxious - we will only feel relieved when the baby is safely here x

Thank you so much x