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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

42 do I TTC again?!

3 replies

Lulabella22 · 22/10/2023 21:37

Hi
Posting in the hope of hearing from someone who may have experienced similar. Daughter born via IVF in 2014. We also have 2 frozen embryos but there was no rush to grow our family. In Jan 22 we had a surprise pregnancy but I had been unwell in the months leading upto the pregnancy and the decision was made to TFMR, my own medical reasons. I was heartbroken. Sept 22 we had another surprise! But at 13 weeks discovered that this baby had numerous abnormalities and a 10% chance of survival. Heartbreak all over again. In both losses I had retained tissue requiring two procedures both times. The last procedure I had I was kept in overnight as I had bled more than expected however not enough for a transfusion, just iron tablets. This really shook me up and I've developed a fear of haemorrhage should I get pregnant again. It's making me ill with worry but I can't get over my losses and want to try our frozen embryos. The fear has made me delay going back and I feel time isn't on my side as I'm now 42 almost 43. I go round and round in circles, what's the right thing to do, I've created an irrational fear. The fertility clinic agreed to scan me to check for scarring and all is ok. My embryos are from when I was 32, so in great condition. Am I fool for delaying fearing a bad outcome, am I fool for wanting to try again at my age, am I putting myself at risk of complications ?! My head's a mess 🥺

OP posts:
username2373 · 22/10/2023 21:47

I'm 42, almost 43 too.
I didn't want to read and run...

My story is different to yours. I lost my first baby at birth, my second came along a few years later.

I have decided to bring him up as an only, and although making that decision was agonising, I am now completely at peace with it.

There's no right and wrong, as there's no knowing the outcome. I do wish you all the best.

Pinkshoppingbag · 22/10/2023 21:53

Completely up to you, but I don't think I'd personally want a 10 year age gap or go back to all things baby after so long. I also had IVF for my son and used frozen embryos trying for a sibling. Just a word of warning that they can degrade. My frozen AB was apparently a CC by the time it was implanted. Don't ask me how that works 🤷🏼‍♀️ Perhaps you could seek some counselling? We had counselling after our third failure and it really helped us come to terms with things.

Lulabella22 · 22/10/2023 22:40

@username2373 I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for replying X

@Pinkshoppingbag the 10 year gap doesn't bother me too much, our daughter is like a little mother hen, I know she would be delighted with a sibling now. It's more the pregnancy and birth that's causing me worry. Ive had some CBT but perinatal counselling has also been mentioned. I think it's something I should look into now. The fertility clinic seem pretty confident our embryos are in good condition but thank you for letting me know, it's something I will be sure to check with them if we go ahead.

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