Childcare after Mat leave?

[Jazzmine952]

Just wondering how you plan to / how you went about preparing for childcare after maternity leave? For example, nursery for us is definitely a must to be able to work, but also I guess my partner's mum might want to help, but she works full time, so would it be cheeky to ask her the extent she would be willing to help, or just see if she offers? This would be nice to have family look after for one day a week, I or partner look after for one to two days a week, etc. Saves money but also means not having child just in nursery all the time without family, after being with us all the start of their life. I just don't know how to ask...maybe I am also being a bit muddled so please forgive me as my brain is all over the place thinking about what should and shouldn't be in the future, while trying to live in the today!

Maybe if you are a working grandma who helps, what made it work for you, and did the parents ask?

You don't ask directly, she'll offer if she's interested. Mention that you are taking a look at nurseries (though I agree childminders are better for under twos) and see if she says "oh, I'd love to have baby one day a week". If she doesn't, do not in any way suggest she should.

Working from home is WORKING. She is not being paid to care for a child whilst working from home, she's being paid to work. You can't do both at the same time.

You can't take a child out of a childcare place and not pay for it so her annual leave is not relevant. You'd be paying for a day at nursery regardless with the odd day or week of annual leave. Otherwise you'll lose your space. She'd have to drop a day at work, which would impact upon her pension and income. You can't ask her to do this. An offer of regular commitment to child care would have to come from her. And you should contribute something to her financially if she does commit to regular childcare if it means a drop in income or pension contributions.

@Katherina02837 It's not really a simple, honest conversation if you are asking somebody what their opinion of nursery is and what they think is best for your baby but you're actually wanting them to tell you whether they plan to offer childcare. In fact it would be quite a cruel way in to discussing it if they recognised that the baby would be better off being cared for by them (or other family) but they were unable to offer that.

@sugarplum33
First, I believe nursery is extremely beneficial- there is no way a family member can offer as much socialization and activities than nursery can.
Second, I am talking about a little bit help, not full time. For example, once a week look after a child for a few hours- but you don`t know that until you ask. (so you can put the baby into nursery for half day rather than full day)

Where I live, full time nursery is 7.30 am till 6pm. You barely see your own baby on weekdays, so on the weekend you probably want to spend time with them, rather then dropping them off at grandparents.
So why not grandparents to decide if they can or want to help you out a few hours in weekdays. If you think that is "cruel" than you do have issues with communication.

Lovely if grandma wants to spend annual leave or TOIL with the baby, but you won't be able to cut back on nursery for this. If she's WFH then she's working and won't be available for childcare.

If she works FT then I would assume she won't be providing any regular childcare.

Sounds like you need FT nursery. Both of mine have been 5 days, it's fine. They love it and settle quickly.