How did you feel when you bought your baby home?

[Baggyjumper0121]

When you came home with your newborn, did you feel excited? Nervous? Lost?

My colleague recently had a baby and she talked about having an anti-climax feeling after the first day and she said it was like an empty feeling even though she had her baby with her but as soon as family/friends would leave after visiting she would feel very down. I hadn't thought about this

I am due in 5 weeks and I know nothing can prepare me for the emotional side of things but interested in reading your experience of the first few days with a newborn - emotions wise

I was just so tired and overwhelmed that it's all a blur, really. I remember sitting there quite often looking at the baby thinking "oh what do I do now?". As in, I tended to him when he cried. Fed him, changed him, held him while he slept etc. But there was still time when he was wide awake and content and we were just looking at each other and I wasn't sure how to fill the time.

I can't say I felt the anticlimax your colleague did, but we always knew we wouldn't have a lot of friends/family around making a fuss when we brought him home. People coming to visit was a highlight as it took the pressure off me to entertain the baby, but when they left I didn't feel disappointed.

Exhausted but very happy. I just wanted to snuggle up with baby, and watch Christmas movies in front of the fire. And that’s exactly what we did. The first few weeks in the newborn bubble were blissful. Congratulations and good luck OP

Definitely felt a massive anti climax with dc1, was on a high for the first couple of days when family are all jostling to see dc etc. The minute I got home and was alone with dc for extended periods (dp didn't get paternity leave) i kept wondering what on earth I'd done. The exhaustion and uncertainty are all consuming. Didn't last though and with my next dc I knew what to expect and it was much better. Even if you have that feeling of anti climax, and/or feel overwhelmed, it doesn't usually last, so just ride it out and take each day/hour/minute at a time. My best advice would be to not place any expectations on yourself, just be in the moment and do whatever you need to get through it.

nothing can prepare me for the emotional side of things that basically

I was exhausted, overwhelmed and very emotional.

I wasn’t happy, in fact I said to DH “what have we done?!” But I wasn’t unhappy either.

Like many things in life: it’s fine. Good bits, bad bits but mostly it’s just okay.

Emotions wise I was very very upset as my birth went completely tits up and not how I'd planned. But it was December time, very cold outside and bad weather. We basically just snuggled in bed for about 2 weeks, got to grips with breastfeeding. I slept loads. Partner did all nappy changes and brought me meals/ snacks. Would definitely recommend it as it really helped us bond and establish feeding. Don't put too much pressure on yourself to 'bounce back' or go out and do anything. If you don't feel up to guests then tell them.

I remember getting in the front door and noticing the soft fluffy carpet everywhere. We put baby down and sat on the sofa and we're both like, wtf do we do now 😂 I was terrified. It's a lot of responsibility and change. 3 years on and another baby it's so worth it. Such a rollercoaster

The baby bubble genuinely was blissful with both DC after we settled into our new norm but I certainly felt overwhelmed the first and second day returning home with both of my DC. With DC1 I just felt overwhelmed in general being responsible for such a precious fragile tiny person, with DC2 I felt so guilty that DC1 now had to share me. But for me personally, other than the horrendous sleep deprivation, the newborn and baby stage was the happiest time of my life.

I feel this is the part that people aren’t fully honest about or don’t remember fully after the feelings have gone, or maybe don’t experience, but I felt terrible, I felt like the decision to have a baby had ruined everything and I cried for about 8 hours straight one night, the dogs which had been the centre of our world were freaked and I couldn’t shake the guilt that we shouldn’t have had her, the midwife team came out the next day as they do often for a while and told me to my relief how perfectly normal & common it is to have an emotional breakdown 4-5 days after the baby is born, something to do with regulating/purging hormones, I looked it up and it seems they were right.

I started to feel better after a couple of days and everything got better from then, but I was completely unprepared for that feeling of doom, our DD is 2 now and she is a joy, but that adjustment period is really hard, remember to be patient and kind to yourself, it’s pretty much survival mode for the first 3-6 months!

congratulations, it’s all worth it I promise!

This period of time can often coincide with hormone spikes related to milk production. I was deeply happy with both of my newborns but spent day 3 to 5 with hair on end, in utter desperation and sobbing. It's temporary!

It's a crazy time but it's wonderful and exciting and worth it. The baby completely fills you up and changes how you go about life one week at a time.

Day 3/4 hormones are awful. First baby I was in hospital then, was upset I wasn't out yet. Second time, I sobbed that I'd made a massive mistake and I was abandoning my older child. Obviously I wasn't but I felt like that.

With my first I was utterly terrified and very overwhelmed when DH went back to work after 1 week off (all we could afford). With our second I felt massive pangs of desperation and misery as she wouldn't sleep. At all. I was beyond exhausted and felt depressed, although I knew if I got sleep I would be OK. Once I got sleep I was indeed OK. With our third she was admitted to hospital so quickly after getting home. We were in for a week and I had an infection so by the time we were home I was in heaven!

The actual day we got home ? Happy but also just stared at her and each other being totally unsure of what to do next and wondering why we had been allowed to bring her home without at least a consultant paediatrician in attendance ! No health issues with baby or me, it just seemed like a huge leap in responsibility and knowledge from nothing to a brief instruction on how to bath and cord care in the postnatal ward to being at home with her.

The days after that - busy, happy, tearful, tired, steep learning curve and amazement at her perfection.

I remember that moment as I sat on the sofa with my son in his car seat on the floor and my husband had gone to make us some ready meals. It was very strange. Very much an 'Oh gosh, what now?' kind of moment.

Exhausted and a bit lost as suddenly it was just DH, I and our baby. And my DH had to return to work two days later (DD was brought out early) so I was alone for following 5 nights before his leave started so I was completely out of my depth.

You won’t know how you will feel. But take it day by day.

I was probably overwhelmed, shocked and confused as to how I’ve been trusted with raising an actual human.

I adored my DD and definitely learned to love parenting over the months. I felt very protective of her. I think it was a different set of emotions each day - the whole period was a blur but I also think so many of the emotions came from not understanding all the weird changes to my body. Sadly got PND and felt unworthy for a period of time and like I didn’t deserve to be a mum.

Got over that eventually and once the sleep deprivation minimised I felt more human again.

Overall though there is nothing like holding them. And we have a “my first year album” which I love going back to!

Exhausted and terrified and no clear idea how to take care of my baby. I needed my mum, any mum but it was just me and my head-in-the-sand depressed non-helping husband.
The next day an older mum-type wonderful maternity nurse walked in and reassured me and taught me what I needed to know at that point.

Of course I did change diapers and gave milk, but DD had just come out of NICU and I was very unsure if she was stable enough.

Total and utter relief. The baby was out and I was still alive!

I was on a high for the first few hours as I freaked out as I intended to breastfeed but was finding it difficult and panicked as we had no formula or any idea of formula so we bought some on way home and then I panicked more cuz I didn’t know how to make a bottle😂so I phoned my mum and she came down with my dad and as there were restrictions with hospital visits that was the first time they meet my lg so it was so lovely, I hadn’t slept in days and mum kept telling me to go upstairs to bed but as i was on such a high, I didnt .

that night, when lg started crying and it was dark outside, i felt soo overwhelmed, i freaked out and all i could think was ‘what have we done’ and ‘this is forever’ and almost felt so much doom. My dh sent me upstairs to rest and he just held her for a few hours but i couldnt sleep as i felt i needed to get away for a bit but also couldnt be away from her as i felt something terrible was going to happen. I was 32 btw🙈

I am now 21+3 with my 2nd and look i forward to that time this time, now i know what to expect!♥️all these responses are so lovely to see as I genuinely thought It was just me that thought what the hell have we done lol lg is now 1.5 and is my little best friend, shes class🥹

I absolutely adored that newborn period for the most part. Yes at times it was overwhelming and you’ll almost certainly spend hours googling various things because you doubt yourself. It’s tiring and at times feels relentless, but for me it was the most amazing feeling being in this baby bubble with this tiny human we’d waited so long to meet.

Glad to be home, but have others have said, a bit overwhelmed. I kept wondering when the grown-ups who knew what to do would come along 😅

Oh wow thank you so much for sharing your stories with me and I truly appreciate the honesty!! It is often not spoken about and that's what I was worried about, being in some kind of delusion that we will be in a happy bubble that will last. (Not saying it doesn't but after the initial adrenaline wears off) This thread is preparing me for what I may experience the days after we come home and that it can be completely normal

Thank you all so much x

Utterly knackered. And very sore. Episiotomy + 2 tears, then a few boils developed too. A little teary day 5 after so little sleep.

Definitely no anti-climax here. I'm the kind of person who is all too aware of what can go wrong and never got ahead of myself picturing the future with a new baby, so just in awe of the small human we had created and brought home safely.

The family gave us a day at home to settle but pretty much all descended the following day though.

We came home on day 3 or 4 as DC1's delivery had been a difficult one and he was very sleepy/slow to start feeding. I remember DH carrying the car seat with the baby into the house, putting it on the floor and we both sat on the sofa looking at the baby thinking "well this is it then, what do we do now?" I didn't have any huge rush of love for the baby but wasn't in floods of tears either, we kind of went through the motions and kept the baby clean, fed, dressed etc, it wasn't very instinctive or intuitive for me but I knew what we were expected to do so I did it.

there will be a low feeling after the initial high which is mainly due to hormones! it can be terribly lonely for some, so just ensure you have a good support network around. the lack is sleep also plays a huge role in that baby blues feeling. theres nothing you can do to prepare really as you won’t know how you’ll react as each person is impacted differently (even the same mum can have different experience between different births!). the best preparation id say is go with the flow (don’t start working about hypothetical scenarios) and ask for help when you need it!

Looking it back on it now I realise I was utterly shocked we actually had a real live baby. We’d been through so much ttc etc that I was actually stunned.