Biological clock & pressure to complete family

[Hzky3]

By what age realistically do us ladies need to have completed our families?
I am 36 and will be 37 in a few months we have always wanted 4 children i currently have 3 and we recently bought a new home suitable for 4 i realise the sooner we have the 4th the better as fertility will be downwards here on but right now wouldn't be ideal i guess I'm trying to gauge by what age i should aim to have completed our family by?

I have more friends who had children in their 40s than 20s so looking around me you’re in no rush.
However I’d query 4. 3 is a nice dynamic and for the risk of problems (health, finances, family dynamics) and the planet is stop there.

This is an odd question. It’s done to you as an individual. What is your health like? More importantly, when said child is 17 - do you still both want to be working?

It's totally dependent, there's no fixed age....some conceive naturally at 45 no issues, some struggle in their 20s.

If you've had three already you'll probably be ok but I'd start trying sooner rather than later probably.

Please consider the language “complete”. You are complete as you are, and it’s very upsetting suggesting those of us who can’t have kids are incomplete.

It's very personal to the individual. For me, I'd want to have completed my family by 30, especially if I was having 4 children. But then I had my first at 21, so having a planned child my age now (38) would seem like madness. I've been doing this parenting malarkey too long to want another now!

In your shoes, if you want another I'd be getting my skates on tbh.

You have read far too much into the question.

I think life isn't scripted so if timing is bad now then it's bad... wait until it's not and then try, and see what happens... What else would be sensible?

Whatever feels best for you. Had my 3rd and last at 39 and found the pregnancy physically very hard going. Now at nearly 42 there is no way I'd be having another!

There is no universal right time - it depends on many things. There are some women who struggle to conceive at 35 and other who easily have babies in their 40s. You won't know which camp you're in until you try.
Obviously there are other factors - the age gap you want, work considerations, when you feel ready to go through pregnancy and childbirth again etc.

Appologies this wasn't intentional to upset anyone can perfectly see it was inconsiderate on my part. But I meant to my own personal completetion. There are many ladies I know who have chosen or can't have children and I would never like to think Insensitive to there lifestyle so Appologies again.

I have many friends who also say the same they would never go back to the start again. Personally I've always known I want a large family and have left it untill my 3 were more responsible and independent to decide how I felt and I totally hate this new found freedom etc I have so much time and love to give and am also very patient so feel I have the essentials still to go have another. Yes completely understand not expecting another pregnancy to be like pregnancy in my 20s thankyou for you're reply

Very true.

Sounds like you have space in your heart and home for a fourth, I hope you get what you want at some point. And if not, I'm sure you will never fail to appreciate the three you have (of course).
I think everyone knows when they're done (I was done at two), if they're lucky they get the choice, if not... Well, we all make the best of the hand we're dealt don't we, even if that hurts, because what else can we do.

Enjoy life's grand adventure as it unfolds, roll the dice when it's right and good luck to you, you sound like a lovely mum.

I think the idea of 'completing' one's family is odd. A family is complete at each stage, including following bereavement.
Perhaps the idea is to achieve or realise a vision for your ideal family size which you both aspire to, but suggesting that your current family is 'incomplete' feels unnecessary.

I'm not sure that's a question that has an actual answer everyone is completely different I'm 36 and only pregnant on my first .

Don't think we need to forensically examine the language here, it's common enough use of the term and we all know what op means.

@EveSix I never feel that my family is complete yet, I love my son entirely but also still feel like we are not whole yet. If we couldn't have more children I would probably look to foster or adopt to fill that piece.

But Pimp, I don't think it's a matter of not understanding what the OP means, but rather questioning whether it is helpful to perpetuate a mindset with language which, should her plans for further procreation not go to plan, will leave her with a sense of her family being 'incomplete' or not quite whole. Most people find something being 'incomplete' less desirable and less satisfying than something being complete, so it stands to reason that questioning the framing of her aspiration might be a supportive thing.

You could have blood tests to evaluate your own fertility (other people’s fertility isn’t going to give you huge amounts of information) but after three pregnancies, if you didn’t struggle to conceive I’d be very relaxed in your position and go for your ideal gap rather than hurrying. Think of all the months you didn’t ovulate, too. My grandmothers both got pregnant easily at 45.

who know? It could already be too late, or you could have a difficult time conceiving, a horrendous pregnancy and a disabled child, or you could pop out triplets next year?

Impossible question

Quit while you're ahead and use the spare bedroom for storage!