Sonographers won’t commit to sex!

[Nelbert19]

Hello all

i had my 20 week anomaly scan last week and all happy and healthy. The sonographer had a good look for genitals and said ‘I can’t see a Willy so would guess girl, but really it’s 50:50’. Baby was lying face down with legs crossed, so not the easiest!

this week, I was used as a model for sonography teaching, so spent 90 minutes being scanned. Again, sonographers said ‘probably’ girl because can’t see a willy, but wouldn’t commit

Now, obviously I’ll love whatever arrives, but I’m DESPERATE to know! With my boy they knew straight away and he tended to keep his legs crossed too

those of you who’ve had girls identified at 20 weeks scans - are the sonographers just looking for absence of a penis (so probably girl), or were they able to be more definite that they were looking at a vulva (so definitely girl)??

With my first I was told "probably a girl as I haven't seen anything to make me think boy" at the 20 week scan. Sure enough, she was indeed a girl.

With my second even at the 12 week scan (which actually took place at 13+6) DD2 already looked like a girl. I commented on it and the sonographer made "mm hmm" face. At the 20 week scan it was blindingly obvious - vulva on full display.

Read the thread title and thought maternity services have really changed since I had my youngest 🤣🤣🤣

Why does this surprise you? It is normal for medical professionals to use euphemisms / nicknames for body parts. Throughout both my pregnancies midwives repeatedly referred to my "down below" and "girly bits" to mean my genitals, and my "boobs" to mean breasts. They also called my pregnancy bump my "tummy" when "abdomen ' would have been more correct. When baby was born they referred to her "tummy button" rather than her umbilicus. DH recently had a vasectomy. He tells me that the surgeon happily talked about his "balls" rather than his testes.

"Willy" is an extremely well known word, it's not surprising at all that a sonographer would use it.

I had a private 16 week gender scan, she said congratulations it's a little girl and gave us a pink bag with our pics.
Then went to NHS 20 weeks scan and she said it looks like it could be a girl but I can't be sure.
I think if she mentioned anything I'd run with that because they don't want to be wrong so just give you a vague answer to save their backs.

I work in this area. Sonogs cannot commit to telling you the definite sex of your baby because there is such a culture of blame and suing within the NHS now that it has become a very big problem. It's part of obstetric ultrasound policy in most trusts. There's been several instances of the wrong sex being disclosed and families have attempted to sue trusts and individual sonographers. We're also not allowed to write it down if parents want to do a gender reveal at a later time.

@CoalCraft it was a flippant remark....

But if a midwife or anyone else referred to my "girly bits" I would probably die of cringe

They absolutely never commit. There is always a disclaimer that they can't be held liable for being wrong and many refuse to write it down and only say it verbally.

First scan baby had legs crossed. Second scan they said here is the scrotum and here is the penis (which we'd worked out for ourselves 🤣) so I'm 90% sure boy, but you never know for sure until they're out! Sometimes the cord can hang down in a position that looks penis-like.

Girls are often harder to sex than boys due to the absence of the obvious. I've had 5 scans now (medically needed unfortunately), and each time they have said still looks like a boy so we're feeling pretty certain it is!

I know a few where its been wrong though. I have a friend called Alexandra whose parents were expecting an Alexander. I'm afraid until baby is here you won't know for sure. Even blood tests aren't 100%.

I went back for a repeat scan today because the position of the baby in the anomaly scan meant that they couldn’t get a good view of the heart.

baby much more compliant this time and sonographer was able to see female anatomy and confirm it’s a girl 🥰

thank you for all of the answers everyone (even the ones who thought I was trying to seduce the sonographers 😅)

I’ll update if she turns out to be a he after all!