Bleeding, Antenatal depression, fear of dying in labour

[Hopelesslyhopeful23]

Hi everyone. Sorry this is a bit of a miserable post.

I am currently around 10 weeks pregnant after an early miscarriage some months ago.

have been bleeding for over a month now due to a subchorionic haematoma that’s about 4.5x4.2x2.1cm this triggered a significant amount of anxiety for me.

since the bleeding started I have become so low in mood, depressed. Unhappy about the pregnancy and am also now terrified and convinced I’m going to die in childbirth (if I make it that far) convinced I will bleed out and won’t be saved.

I am basically bed and house bound and can’t get rid of the severe anxiety I’m dealing with. I spoke to my midwife at booking who laughed off my concerns and told me to refer myself for talk therapy

Hi @Hopelesslyhopeful23, so sorry you’re feeling this way and sorry about your loss. I too experienced a loss before falling pregnant again. It is so normal for that to evolve into anxiety especially with the additional bleeding you’re experiencing that must be really scary. I have been experiencing antenatal depression in my third trimester (im 36+3 now) and spoke with my GP who put in a referral to perinatal mental health and started me on sertraline. When I spoke to my midwife before that she was sympathetic but just kind of explained because I was high functioning just to ‘cope’. Please speak with your GP, they will support you 🤍

I’m so sorry to hear you’re feeling this way and want you to know your midwife is a *** and should not have reacted that way, very unprofessional so take no notice of her. Is there an alternative midwife you can speak to? Have they given you a triage number to call? At your next scan you also meet with someone so may be worth mentioning it there. I’d personally ring triage and explain how you’re feeling and they can put you onto the right help. I’ve suffered from anxiety in the past and it’s all over my medical records so at my booking appointment my midwife told me if any of these feelings came up again to get in touch as they can fast track mums to be to therapy / counselling on the NHS. There is also pregnancy safe medication you can take so also see your GP.

With regards to helping with your fear of childbirth, and this is perfectly normal and more common than you may think so don’t think you’re alone. It may be worth looking up some antenatal classes (if you’re earlier than 20 weeks the nhs ones may not be available to you yet so you can do private classes face to face or via online meetings (eg zoom or teams) and there’s online resources too. Knowledge is power, and knowledge helps me with my anxiety to know what to expect and how to manage the birthing process to give the best outcomes. But also look in the right places, seek hypno birthing techniques and positive affirmations (do not seek horror stories or scare mongering sources as these won’t help your anxiety at all or set you up for a positive birth experience).

I’ve bought a book called “practical ways to make your birth better” by Siobhan Miller which has really helped my anxiety and is a really positive book. It was recommended to me by my sister in law who has just had a baby and swears by it. I must admit it’s put me in a much more positive head space for the birth of my baby.

Good luck on your pregnancy journey and I hope you seek help to make the process easier :)

@CAA121 @TTCX2 thank you both for taking the time to respond. I will contact my GP tomorrow and see what they can do to help. It’s just incredibly draining and so hard to be positive especially bleeding everyday for a month.

@CAA121 thank you - I will have a look at the book you recommended I’m willing to try anything to stop me feeling this way.

I got my blood test results from my booking appointment aswell and it seems my neutrophils, monocytes and white cell count are elevated. So now I’m even more terrified about what type of infection I clearly have

I'm so sorry, OP. I have no helpful advice but buckets of sympathy. I was anxious in my first pregnancy (although your experience sounds much more difficult) and it's just awful. I hope you get what you need to cope with this.

Please do try & get some help. I had a miscarriage, then a long journey to pregnancy. I worried about absolutely everything during the pregnancy & birth. This them turned into postnatal anxiety and I became convinced that my son was seriously unwell. The first few months of his life were marred by my constant worry and when I look at photos of me smiling with him as a baby I feel sad because I know the smiles were faked. I finally got some help, but really wish I had done it during the pregnancy.