Anyone else pregnant with DC2?

[Givemepickles]

I'm (just) pregnant with DC2, only 4 weeks pregnant and crossing everything for a sticky bean. I have a 14 month old DS. This pregnancy feels so different from before both physically and mentally. Since I tested this week I've not thought about it that much. I feel so bad saying that but I've been so busy with DS being unwell that I just haven't had the time. And it doesn't feel as exciting as DS did. Obviously I really want this baby but I don't have the mental space like I did with the first.

Does anyone feel the same? Even thinking about registering with a hospital and deciding where to give birth is all based around DS and who will look after him etc. I feel bad for the new baby already that I'm not thinking about him/her in the way I did with my first pregnancy.

Anyone feel similar and pregnant with DC2? I'm still such early days that I guess it'll feel more obvious and real later on. If you're further on than me do you feel you've had time to focus on new baby?

Hi @Givemepickles ,congratulations!

I'm 36 weeks and will have 28 month age gap with DC2.

A lot of my mental space has been given to DC1. I have a close bond with them (naturally) so worry how it will affect them, both from not getting my attention like they do now and wanting it to go well with minimal jealously.
I figure, DC1 needs a little more focus in the early weeks. Baby will be loved, cuddled and cared for but DC1 will need more of my consciousness.

Between work and toddler, I haven't had headspace to think baby and pregnancy. I've also not had the luxury of rest and prep as I did with DC1.

I figure that this is the reality of 2nd baby. You've been here before so there's less 'fear of the unknown' and you have different priorities from before you were a parent. That doesn't mean you love DC2 any less or are any less as a mother.

Don't let the mum guilt creep in. Take it at your own pace, it's early days and you'll be OK 💐

Hi @Givemepickles yes I feel similar. It's definitely not as exciting as the first time round! My son is 21 months old now and I've just found out I'm pregnant again with my second. We were trying so not a surprise or anything but I haven't felt that same excitement although I am happy. Hopefully it will come with time. I think it's because we've even got most things and can reuse so the first pregnancy was full of excitement looking at prams and cots and learning about caring for a baby. I'm only just 4 weeks along too.

Hi @Givemepickles 👋 in almost the same boat as you!
I'm 11 weeks and DS is currently 16 months. Like you and others, I've felt different during this pregnancy. I'm happy but I'm also in the thick of morning sickness and extreme tiredness and I feel as though the excitement with DS got me through it last time!
I think maybe we were free to wonder and revel in the pregnancy last time, where-as now we're running around looking after DC1, so this pregnancy takes a bit of a back seat......
I'm sure in time it will all start to feel real and as Thack has said, don't let mum guilt creep in about it in the meantime 🙂

Hi OP, I am also pregnant with DC2. I got pregnant when my first baby was 8 months old, I’m still on mat leave so yes, my attention is all on her. I have everything I need, so there’s not the same excitement of looking at cribs and prams etc.

This pregnancy feels very different, I am a completely different person to when I was expecting DD1. Physically, I am much much more tired, and more nauseous. Mentally, although I’m thrilled, I am a lot less excitable, less precious about being ‘FTM’, and have a much more practical approach.

DD2 will get a different person as their mum. But there are benefits to that, and that’s what I’m focusing on.

Hi OP, I’m also pregnant with DC2 - very early for me too as I’m 5+1, DC1 is nearly 3. It’s also not been on my mind as much as the first time round but I’ve found myself feeling so exhausted and a bit emotional I just don’t feel like I’ve got as much patience for a 3 year old already - worried it’s just going to get worse and worse up until the baby arrives! It’s going to be so hard for him - as a full on lockdown baby he is used to getting all my attention. I’m hoping that keeping busy and distracted might keep some of the pregnancy anxiety at bay though!

It's so good to hear others in the same situation and feeling the same way. I already felt guilty to DC2 and it's not even an embryo yet 🙃
Sorry I've taken a while to get back to the thread. I had a scare at the weekend with bleeding for 12 hours a d thought I was having a miscarriage. My DS has also had hand, foot and mouth all week so it's been a rubbish time. I am pretty sure that the bleeding was actually implantation or random hormonal bleeding and I still feel pregnant but will test again on Friday. Anyway I don't want to derail this thread with that.

@Zoe303 I feel just the same about patience! Although DH is getting it much worse than DS. But getting DS into his pramsuit yesterday was such a faff and little things like that I'm already finding tough, which is so silly. I can't imagine doing things like car seat etc with toddler tantrums and a bump in 6 months time!

@MollyMarples I feel more tired too! Do you get much sleep with your DC? Mine is pretty good but has been waking more due to illness. Even with a good sleep though I'm feeling tired in the day. Hard to stay focused WFH when my bed is so close haha.

@Thack @mumsince2021 @Shkbop91 yup you've all nailed it. There's less excitement and wonderment. I actually feel much more anxious this time. I haven't been an anxious FTM afterthought first few weeks and was relaxed in pregnancy so this has surprised me. I think I'm a lot more aware of how quickly things can go wrong and also how much I love my baby. Before I had him I couldn't have imagined love like this so now the thought of anything happening to the next one is terrifying when I know how precious they will be to me.