How did you prepare for pregnancy?

[Gentlemanwiththistledownhair]

I'm talking mentally, emotionally and physically!

Me and DH are having serious "shall we start trying?" talks. We have both been agreed that kids are (hopefully) in our future for years and I am convinced I want them.

But it seems like years of trying not to get pregnant is asking is tricky to mentally shift into a space of wanting to now. The disruption to a very nice life that I have built, the temporary restrictions in doing things I love (horses), is freaking me out in a practical sense. And then the enormity is freaking me out emotionally.

It's almost like I have a deeply ingrained childlike image of a mother and as I haven't met those arbitrary goal posts I'm not suitable, but there is no practical reason why a child now isn't a good idea.

Hi @Gentlemanwiththistledownhair
It's the unknown hun that can be daunting, there's nothing i did to prepare but just knew i wanted children. Nature kind of kicks in too when you get pregnant and baby arrives. You're going to love being a Mum xx

Thanks @Summer2424 you are right, it absolutely is the unknown.

The resulting child is wanted, it's just all the getting pregnant, pregnancy, birth bits that I'm not keen on the idea of! I keep thinking "just one more month on the pill before I have to deal with periods, put etc"

Not that sex is the problem, just lots of my friends got sucked into obsessive tracking around when to dtd and I really don't want that pressure, especially as my personality type definitely would tend towards that route.

I have seen how that thinking has negatively affected my friends and need to be strict with myself about that particular mindset

@Gentlemanwiththistledownhair I felt the exact same way. Which is also why I have postponed it so long.

I want the child, but not the disruption it brings to my great life!

I am now pregnant, and Im really happy, but still struggling with some of the bits that it brings, like not being able to go out drinking (you can still go out, but non alcoholic beverages can be a bit boring after a while), not to mention the enormity of what awaits me in 5 months!

But Im sure it will be worth it!

Just look at it this way... if you keep on waiting for the "perfect moment!", it will never come, as your goal posts will move. So just dive in, go for it, and hope for the best!

I defo felt the same. It's the unknown and knowing that although the baby would be planned and wanted it's the most enormous change to your life.

I also didn't want to get into obsessively tracking, so said I would leave it 6 months off the pill to see what happens with just regular sex before doing any type of more in depth tracking. Anyway I fell pregnant on the second month off the pill, very luckily I know.

I am 38 weeks today and am so excited to meet my baby, albeit still nervous about the impending birth at times!

Everything you are feeling seems very normal, and you just kind of have to go with it a bit.

Stopped the pill and went for it, I do track as have irregular cycles but don't go on about it to DH as same as you don't want to ruin our intimacy. Honestly haven't even turned my mind to actually having a baby, one step at a time.

Aww bless i can understand that, i've always been really into my fitness, worked out everyday, lived in bodycon dresses, very social, loved my job / career. The minute i got pregnant it's like i didn't have any love for that anymore, i had this baby and every moment forward was better then anything i've had it my life. The pregnancy part will pass, the time goes quickly, before you know it the baby has arrived! x

The month i conceived i remember it was really nice weather so we were doing lots of days out. It was just a fun chilled time ☀️😁

If I was going to ‘prepare’, I would stop any contraception now as it took a while for my periods to come back into any sort of pattern when I came off the pill! Other than that, would probably think about saving and finances, especially if you don’t get a good maternity package. Make sure you have any conversations with your partner around finances to make sure they’re on the same page!

Thanks everyone, it's nice to hear that I'm not alone! ❤

I have bipolar so I had to get myself into a stable place where my mental health was more manageable.
In my previous job I could work 25 days in a row without a day off, high stress and often worked 70+h weeks. I had to wait until a suitable job to come up which gave me a better work life balance which in turn improved my mental health
My partner and I spent a year living in 2 cities as we knew that was only for a fixed time we waited for us to be in the same place, it helped with the logistics too 😉
After that, have a good luck at your bad habits (too much sugar, caffeine, alcohol or lack of fruit and veg) and get finances in order. Ditch all the subscriptions you don't use.
Sort out the necessary multivitamins.
If you are in new jobs check at what point the maternity or paternity policies kick in. For the sake of waiting a month or two you might find yourself in a better/worse position. We didn't and by luck rather than good judgement my partner qualified for paternity leave by a week

How old are you, @Gentlemanwiththistledownhair ?
I'm 42, 24 weeks pregnant (first child) and still freak out about the impact it will have on my life, lifestyle, our relationship, etc.

For me I guess the simple thing was i knew I couldn't leave it any longer. 2 1st trimester miscarriages strengthened my belief that I want to bring up a child with my partner.

Maybe make a list of things you really want to do 6 months before you stop using contraception /fall pregnant and do those?

I got fit. It helps with conception, surviving pregnancy, giving birth, recovery from giving birth and eventually (assuming you get a chance to maintain it!) running around after a three year old who still often wants carried about the place, even though he's MASSIVE.

I absolutely should have thought about talking to my husband about how we were going to parent our kids, but we're working that out as we go along!

An odd one, but I'd recommend getting good at cooking meals with hidden veg. If you can knock out a spag bol, shepherd's pie and a vegetable curry without needing a recipe, the toddler days will be much easier.