Thinking about an abortion but I am confused

[JennyM30]

Hi all, I wanted to share what I am currently going through and was just hoping for a little bit of support..

Last year my partner(M31) and I(F30) agreed on having a short-break as we had to work on ourselves and our relationship was quite turbulent. We separated officially a few weeks after, as I found out that he had been sleeping with another woman (during our break and he even brought her to our house). We got back together 7-8 months after, but I see that Im still struggling with the fact that he slept with someone else and brought her to our house (this year we are together for 9 years). I found out I am pregnant a couple a weeks ago, just a couple of days after I discovered that over the summer he had been drunk-texting this woman he slept wit during our break last year.

When I told him I read the messages he got upset as it was a couple of months ago -he sent them in july and I read them in september- and he had already decided for himself he couldnt make this mistake anymore and this is not the way he wanted to live. I told him Im prgnant and he promised that he will change his ways, become a better man and that he wants to become a father, be with me and have a stable good loving relationship.

But now Im having doubts. Who says that now it will be better? Ive always wanted to be a mother, but I just dont think he should be the father to my child as I dont think I can forgive or trust him again. A big part of me wants to do an abortion, end the relationship and start over by myself. But then theres this other part of me that feels guilty for terminating the pregnancy..

Im really lost and dont know what to do.

Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts..

I'm sorry that you are going through this. In my experience having a baby to someone who promises to change etc etc in fact doesn't change anything and in fact it makes it a whole lot harder down the line. You have a big decision to make and ultimately it's only you who can make it, but please do not think a baby can save a relationship. Wishing you the best x

I'm sorry you're going through this. I think you need to decide how much you want a baby now as a separate decision to whether you stay with your partner. Being pregnant, childbirth , breast feeding, lack of sleep take a huge toll on a weak relationship and you may find him cheating again while you go through all of that. However if you've always wanted to be a mother, you need to consider how you will feel if you don't find another relationship that could offer that for a few years and the risk of falling fertility. Can you take some time away from your partner for a few days to see how you feel?

Don't rush into a decision but, should you decide to terminate, please feel no guilt. The circumstances need to be ones you are happy to bring a child into, and your situation sounds uncertain.

@Sb86 Thank you so much xx

@custardcream3 : yes, we will actually take some time apart tomorrow for a few days. hopefully this space will give me some more clarity.

@CuteCillian thats true.. thank you loads