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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

any help is appreciated

13 replies

nik29099 · 05/10/2023 15:11

, please no judgement I haven't been able to sleep or eat for days.
basically me & my partner decided to have a little break as we have a baby and was struggling with work/financially and just kept arguing over silly things.
during this break I stupidly had sex with an ex on the 7th of September (he didn't ejaculate inside me but ive now found out you can still get pregnant from pre cum!
me and my partner then decided to get back together and makes things work.
we had sex on the 14th of September he obviously did ejaculate inside me and then again a few days after that.

my last period was 2nd of September.

I done a test on the 29th of September and it says 2-3 weeks.

Is it more likly to be my partners or my ex's? or will I have to pay £800 for a DNA before baby born!? I really don't know want to do in this situation I haven't told my partner about me and my ex 😥

any help is appreciated.
thank you

OP posts:
JamieJ93 · 05/10/2023 15:16

You mention that you had taken a break due to financial reasons?
You also say it's obvious he came inside? If you were on contraception and it failed, fair enough but if not you must know another child would only add more financial pressure?

Jolayla · 05/10/2023 15:23

What a horrible situation you are in must be horrible. And without judging why wouldn't you and ex use a condom? You useally ovulate around 14 days into a cycle counting day 1 as 1st day of period so more then likely the baby is your current partners and not the ex. But I'm sure if you are planning to keep the baby you will be worried out your mind the whole pregnancy and of course this isn't good for neither you or baby. Personally I think you need to own up and tell your partner the truth of what happened and for the peice of all your minds take a dna test once the baby is born. This will be absolutely horrible news for your partner but hopefully he will understand you was on a break and im sure if he loves you he will understand, good luck x

JamieJ93 · 05/10/2023 15:25

Sorry I have just re read my message on this thread, I did sound very judgemental of your situation, which is out of order. I think the best thing is to be open and honest.

Original poster
nik29099 · 05/10/2023 15:30

that's ok I get it it's my own fault! I just meant obviously he came inside just meaning as he is my partner. yes I know exactly what you mean, just having arguments about me working more hours, working out bills etc that's all! xx

OP posts:
JamieJ93 · 05/10/2023 15:34

Yes well, it wasn't my place to swoop in and judge.
I think you should get it over with and tell him now, rather than him finding out later down the line etc.
If you both love each other you will tackle this, head on together.
It will be better now to get everything out in the open until you can work out on how best to move forward..
x

Original poster
nik29099 · 05/10/2023 15:35

I know we should have it was just very in the moment and a really stupid move! 😢
you can get a DNA done from 7weeks but its £800 so I might have to do that as I'm going out my mind! your right about coming clean for sure x
thank you

OP posts:
lemonyfox · 05/10/2023 16:04

When you say your last period was 2nd Sept, was that the first day of your period or the last day of it?

FortheBeautyoftheEarth · 05/10/2023 16:06

If your cycle is generally regular I'd say would say more likely to be your partner's. I think in a regular cycle ovulation generally occurs around day 14.

KatieJ345 · 05/10/2023 16:08

I agree with other posts - I think likely the baby will be your current partner’s. However you will always wonder if you don’t test. I would tell your partner the truth and you can discuss together whether you want to find out.

Original poster
nik29099 · 05/10/2023 16:48

thanks for all your comments! appreciate your help and honesty.
I do need to tell him just don't want to hurt anyone anymore then I already have by doing it in the first place.
I can't remember exactly when I came on but I was definitely on around the 2nd! I cant concentrate on anything so Definitely can not continue this pregnancy without knowing who the father is.

OP posts:
Tired6789 · 05/10/2023 20:40

From the dates it's very likely the 14th but only way to know for sure is to do the test. Good luck, I hope it all works out OK for you

learningliving · 05/10/2023 20:59

I would say just come clean tell the whole truth and whatever happens after that is meant to happen these things happen for a reason and if your honest and straight about your thoughts and feelings and why you choose to do what you did you can't do much more than that it's so hard looking for advice online because you have to kind of generalise it for people to understand but everyone's situation is so different as we are all unique individuals.

You need to make the decision to tell the truth for your babies thats the first example you are making as a mother is to come clean and relieve your anxiety about it your pregnant and need to rest up and relax you and your baby deserve that.

Good luck all the best! X

Summer2424 · 05/10/2023 21:10

Hi @nik29099
No judgment at all from me hun.

From the dates i think it's your partners. Please try not to worry, you're pregnant look after yourself. Hope everything turns out ok xx

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