Should I postpone TTC for brother in law's wedding

[CNThomas]

Hello - I'm 31 and started TTC earlier this year.
Unfortunately, though we were blessed to become pregnant, I suffered a chemical pregnancy and it has absolutely destroyed me. Since then, we have not fallen pregnant.

My first question - is has anyone else experienced this and gone on to get pregnant or found its part of a larger issue?

Secondly - We've been considering postponing a month of TTC because we would be due roughly a few days around my partners, brothers wedding. I'm scared for the fall out or upsetting anyone should labour come early or on the day. But equally, I dont know if its the right thing to do, putting it off for the wedding?

Has anyone else experienced this or can offer any advice for the situation please? xoxox

sorry to hear about your chemical. I think it’s quite common though! but gosh I can’t imagine any fall out from your in laws?? if they’re the sort of people to get annoyed because you went into labour, they’re not the sort of people I’d be planning TTC round.

I probably would postpone for that month or 2, but only because I'd like to go the wedding and not worry about being 9 months pregnant and potentially going into labour away from home. I do love weddings though. Being 7 months pregnant at a family wedding is fine though so I'd get right back trying after having a break for a few weeks.

No don't worry a day in someone else life .
Just keep shagging with no protection and see what happens.

Sorry to hear, but that is common so do try and move forward. Totally depends on your family. I would have missed 1 month TTC if it was my brother in law wedding as we’re very close and I wouldn’t have wanted to miss it. And it’s normal to take time, we also started trying start of this year, unfortunately had loss at 11 weeks and have taken a few months off trying which has been a massive benefit to us emotionally. There’s no rush.

You do not need to postpone trying,

I wouldn’t postpone no.

Surely nobody plans their lives around other people's like this?

Thank you everyone - it seems there's split opinions too ha ha!

I dont mind personally not drinking or being able to join in so much - i'd be more worried to ruin my husbands time as best man for his brother or pull him away if any issues.. I guess even more so if something happened a few days before!! Minefield..

I prob wouldn't try this month just because there is a high chance you might miss the wedding

And yes I had a chemical then got pregnant the following month. Sorry you also had one x

No I don’t think you should, if you’re heavily pregnant or just given birth near the time then so be it. I can’t think anyone can hold it against you, it’s just life and these things happen.

I'm currently in therapy over this issue... ha.

I'm currently in therapy for this 🙈

I really wouldn't wait, there may be someone else getting married, Christmas, new job....where would it end?

Chemical pregnancies are very common. In times past we wouldn't even have known about them - we only do now because of the availability of pregnancy tests and the craze for early testing. I'm sure you'll conceive again. Please don't despair.

As for the wedding, I wouldn't postpone TTC, but that's really up to you. If you really are concerned about missing it and upsetting people, then stop for a few weeks. But then I struggled to conceive (I'm older and had issues), so that's totally down to my personal experience.

Good luck!

Personally I wouldn't postpone TTC. That could have been your month. Also babies don't follow schedules. They can arrive really early, can go 2 weeks late. I know someone who gave birth at 34 weeks due to bleeding due to placenta previa. If you wanted to avoid the wedding completely you'd need to take 3/4 months off to be sure. Keep trying for your baby, work out the wedding later.

I wouldn’t. There’ll always be a reason to postpone TTC because of an event/holiday/other stuff, I think you just need to go with it and rearrange or cancel stuff as necessary says the woman who found out that her due date is on her own wedding day next year.

I definitely wouldn't postpone - I postponed for too long and now looking at ivf :(

Given your age, I would postpone a month or even 2. It will give you a chance to mentally rest which is valuable and solve the wedding due date issue.

I wouldn’t delay longer than that. You can be very pregnant, but with 2 months delay, unless something goes very wrong you won’t go into labor that early.

I gave birth on the day sil got married. I was due 8 days before so fully intended to give birth on due date then rest a few days and attend wedding with baby and the 2 year old in tow (I was 23 so I had youth and optimism on my side)!

I had a pre pregnancy dress ready to wear (again see optimism) but the baby wasn't coming. I was booked in at hospital for induction on the 10th day so assumed I'd attend the wedding pregnant instead. Then give birth two days later. I borrowed a dress, the day arrived with no sign of baby coming, we all got ready (dd was a bridesmaid) went to pil to drop dd off and at 10 in the morning the contractions started. They were pretty mild and my first labour took 26 hours so I figured I'd be ok. Get to do the wedding then give birth on the Sunday. However during the long Catholic Church service the contractions ramped up to every 30 seconds. I made to the end, got to see dd walk down aisle, saw sil get married then dh and I made a quick exit (with everyone watching 👀)

Arrived at the hospital (thankfully a mere 5 minutes away in the car) went straight in. 10 cm dilated, she was born within 20 min of arriving at the hospital. (2.10pm) The bride and groom and pil came to visit on the way to the reception and dh even went back for a celebratory drink once we were settled on the ward. Oh and she was a whopping ten pounder 💪

I personally wouldn't stop 😂 just see what happens.

Eh? Please don't hold off making important, life-changing, time-senditive decisions about your life for the sake of a relative's wedding. Hard no from me.

Tbh there are no guarantees anyway. With my first I was at a wedding on my due date. With my second I was in and out of hospital from six months, you don't know what type of pregnancy you will have. So I would say don't bother postponing/stopping trying

No way - like others said, babies are unpredictable so you'd really need 3-4 months off trying to avoid across the wedding f.

There will always be some reason not to try this month or that and I just don't tbh you should postpone such huge life decisions to please others.

I had to withdraw from being a bridesmaid as I'm due 4 weeks before my friends wedding and she was lovely about it. Completely understood and she will also understand if I end up not being able to attend on the day (although plan to!)