Is anyone else coping with being pregnant on their own?

[Sayuri]

Something that came up in a couple of threads this week made me wonder if I was the only one who was pregnant and living alone.

My partner unfortunatly has to live and work in London so at the moment I have to cope with seeing him once a week if Im lucky. I had 2 weeks down there with him recently, which were fantastic as I wasnt having to manage on my own all the time with just stupid things like doing the shopping and taking care of our animals, but now I am back here and dealing with it all without any help again.

Is anyone else in the same or similar boat?

I now have my partner living with me but we have been living separately for practically my whole pregnancy (am now 40+3) and seeing eachother a couple of times per week.

We argue much less now he is here all the time as I used to get really pissed off that I was dealing with everything by myself, especially when he was going out etc. I got really jealous and bitter!

He will be moving back into his own flat in April as it's not practical geographically for him to be here full time and I'm dreading it already although he should hopefully be here more than once a week. I have lots of friends n family around so manage to keep busy and feel very supported so I don't rely solely on my partner. I found I had to be really honest with everyone about what support I needed from them. Do you have people around? When are you due?

Im not due till October and even at this early stage Im finding it difficult to manage - I dread to think what it is going to be like in 6 months time.

When I have been with my partner I have found all this pregnancy a lot easier and found that my symptoms didnt bother me as much. Now Im back on my own it's a nightmare. I havent been out of the house since Saturday because I know that if I go into town it will make me feel ill and tired and then I will have to get myself home again before I pass out or become so bad that I have to sit down for an hour before I can safely move - last time this happened I was sat on the floor outside Tesco and a guy walked passed and kicked me deliberatly just for being there.

I know what you mean about the practical geography after the baby is born our plan is that I will have to move there but I am dreding it as I dont know anyone and there is nothing to do there and no where to go. I was happy to move there before when I could go to work and make freinds and find a life for myself but now that will be more difficult. My other half works long days and a lot of weekends so he isnt home all that much, although he is trying to find a new job. I wish I was as brave as you and could make the decision to stay here.

My mother lives about 45 minutes away from where I live but I havent seen her for nearly 3 years. My best friend lives nextdoor and says she will help me but she is out from 8 in the morning to anything up to 11/12 in the evening so aside from a quick "hows your day been" Im stuck on my own all day everyday with the fur people.

See now Im moaning lol

Hi Sayuri,

your baby's not due until October so you have plenty of ' blooming' to do until then.
From your post it would seem to me that perhaps you are suffering a little from anxiety ?? Excersise definately helps.
Maybe you could join an aquanatal class, that would also put you in touch with others and you may make new friends to sail through pregnancy with.

Best wishes

Hey I'm in a similar situation too! My dh moved up to Yorkshire to start a new job in January, I was staying in the South and working in London until we sold the house... a week after he moved we found out I was pregnant!

No one really knows yet as it's still a bit early (waiting for scans in the next couple of weeks to know that everything is ok before we tell everyone) so I'm feeling a bit isolated (even though dh calls and emails as much as he can). Thank goodness for MN!!

Although I see my DP most days we live seperately and due to work commitments I am not going to see him till Sunday - hormones plus anxiety are kicking in and I've begun having bad dreams.
OP you have my sympathy.

im pg with my 7th baby im due in july my youngest are 7,6 and 3 my dh works away hes a long distance lorry driver and we only see him weekends im quite in a routine now but am finding it quite exausting at the moment as i have diabetes and its not controlled right now exteremely tired and gettin emotional at times i have no family around i dont know a soul i have just met a lady that is going to be my doula today shes fantastic and has reasuured me no end .My dh is going to have 2 weeks of with me when baby arrives but very anxious as when labour starts im on my own till doula can arrive il guess il cross that bridge when i come to it.i know doula,s are not for everyone but i have been talking to her on the phone for a while and shes very supporting she will come with me to ante natal if needed shes not just going to be there for the birth ive got her all the way have you considered looking into this? good luck and congratulations

Hey Sayuri, my DH works 400 miles away during the week, so I only see him at weekends. I'm due in 3 weeks. TBH, it will get better once the tiredness tails off. An easier way to cope is to pretend you're not pregnant so that it's not lurking in your mind all the time, and to set yourself tasks to do every day. Even selling stuff on ebay helps to get me focused on something else, and gets me out of the house, even if it is just to the post office.
What really helps is seeing at least one friend during the week, though.
I always see it as a plus that in the evenings I get to watch whatever TV I like and get to eat whatever I like.
And then try to arrange something decent to do with him at the weekend, so I have something extra to look forward to.
Having antenatal appointments on my own is miserable though, and I've had lots of them this pregnancy, as it's been kind of high risk.

My DH is currently away four nights a week, and I'm pregnnt (only just) with a 9mo old DD and a 5 year old DS.

It was really hard when DD wa a tiny baby, although he managed four weeks at home around her birth as I'd had a section. He does tend to take over with th DCs when he gets home though and lets me have lovely lie-ins at the weekend, only bringing DD to me when she needs a feed.

when our DS was born, we had split when i was pregnant as well, so I was very alone then. It is tough, but you get through it and it makes your bonds with your DC all the stronger I think.

Make sure you get out to baby groups as much as you can after your baby is born, and even try NCT bumps and babies beofrehand to help you meet women with babies the same age. I luckily have a fantastic support network of friends with DCs the same agers, and it makes everything so much easier as there is always someone to share things with.

I expect that you'll feel better after the first trimester when your hormones settle down a bit. Is there any chance he can get himself a job nearer to home befoire the baby is born?

I'm due in November, and so far so good, but ms hasn't kicked in yet.

Hi!

I'm in the same boat. DH works abroad so is gone Sunday night / Monday morning until Friday night.

I'm coming up 7months PG now and he'll be away certainly for the first 8-9 months of baby's life.

On a day to day basis, I cope OK, but it's the little things I'm really struggling with....

I do find life lonely and isolated at the moment - MN is a bit of a lifesaver!

The one thing I've struggled with most though, is the attitude of some mothers / health visitors... If I get one more snotty reply about why my DH isn't with me, I SWEAR I'll scream.

Anyone would think we'd cooked this situation up just to make thier lives difficult!!!!

Nice to meet you!