Emetephobia and pregnancy

[Bohobetty0]

Hi all,

I am emetephobic and looking to conceive when the time is right, was wondering how can someone manage parenthood with such a crippling fear. I can deal with baby sick fine but once it starts looking sicky if you get me then it makes me anxious. I’m nervous about morning sickness and vomiting during Labour in addition to dealing with my children inevitably being sick. I know it’s part and parcel of parenting and trust me I know becoming a mum I am making the right decision for me and I will love my children with all my heart and always do what’s best for them but I really want to know how fello emetephobes navigate parenthood.

thanks in advance and please be kind in the comments (kindness costs nothing😊)

Dealing with the same phobia, I have a 4 year old. Also 12 weeks pregnant with DC2. Advice re morning sickness - get on medication early and speak to your GP about phobia. I’m just about to start CBT counselling for sickness phobia to better cope when either children have sickness.

Thank you so much @Mammma91 you're seriously bringing me so much faith and you’re living proof that the phobia doesn’t have to rule anyone’s life. Do you know if the CBT is available on NHS or only private (assuming in UK)

I have emet, was never sick when pregnant although I did mega flip out when I had to be on my back for a section as convinced myself I was going to be sick and be unable to move, I was stressing that much they sedated me as soon as they lifted baby out, same the second time round too.

One was a really sickly baby with bad reflux but like you say it's not the same is it, the same one now gets travel sick which caused me loads of anxiety but meds seem to work well, only had 3 episodes of non travel related vomiting so far and they are 4 and 5 so not done too bad

For me the worry someone will be sick is the worst so in the car or on a plane for eg, when they have been sick it's taken me by surprise so it's almost not been as bad as sitting on a flight for 4-5 hours thinking every stranger will be, if that makes sense!

Not everyone gets morning sickness so you might be one of the lucky ones. There are anti emetics that are safe in pregnancy that you can be given.

When it comes to your own kids being sick, it's just a bit different and not as bad as seeing sick generally. A bit like cleaning a potty - I get super grossed out if I see a stranger left skid marks in the toilet, but cleaning my own kid's potty isn't half as bad, because it's my own kid's poo! I mean, not exactly pleasant but not shudder-inducing.

My dc are now older teens so I have gone through all stages….morning sickness through to teenage vomiting. There are times when it wasn’t easy, nursery and primary school were tough. There were times when I took my kids out of school to avoid catching bugs that had taken down half of their class 😬, luckily once my dc reached the age of 9/10 they never really picked up any more bugs, dd2 was always good at dealing with things herself (getting to the loo) which made it a little easier.

I had quite a bit of therapy when the DC’s were little to try and get over my phobia, most things didn’t work. It wasn’t until a therapist said to me “look, we can’t cure this phobia, you just need to find ways of dealing with it” which made me realise that I did need to learn to deal with it. I then became a single parent and I had to deal with it alone. I no longer let the phobia take over my life, I don’t think about V every day and I don’t stop my DC doing things that involve possible infection. I do however still cry and shake if it does happen, I deal with it but my anxiety takes over for a short time.

As for morning sickness….I was only sick once’s with dd2, it happened very quickly so I didn’t have time to get too anxious. My worse fear is me being sick.

Thank you so much @Mummy08m that has honestly put it in such a different perspective for me and will defo help

Thank you @Lovemusic82, if you don’t mind me asking how do you make sure you don’t pass your phobia down to your kids?

My eldest hasn’t been sick since she was 8 years old, she was very anxious about being sick when she was younger but it’s been so long that it’s no longer something she worries about. She’s at uni now and I worry about her getting poorly when she’s on her own (though a small part of me is also pleased I won’t be there). Dd2 has Autism, she’s almost non verbal but when she’s unwell she deals with it herself and doesn’t get upset about it, luckily my phobia hasn’t rubbed off on her. She was sick last year after eating 3 apples before bed (don’t ask) and I had to call a friend to come over to calm me down, dd was fine and looking back I dealt with it ok, I don’t get upset in front of her, I tend to deal with it and then cry afterwards in my room 😬. You kind of go into ‘mum mode’ and just deal with it when it’s happening. I have never been able to allow my dc in my bed when they are unwell though, I couldn’t handle the high risk of catching the bug or being vomited on.

I am also emetophobic and have one son aged 3. I was so fearful of morning sickness that I out of pregnancy for years.
I am very lucky I managed to get pregnant and have a relatively normal pregnancy

I did get morning sickness from weeks 7-14 and it was my own personal nightmare. I get panic attacks and cannot function if I feel nauseous. Luckily I could work from home and I just stayed in bed a lot.

i took anti sickness drugs and just tried to rationalise that it would pass and it’s worth it. I got through it and it was hard but I got through it. I opted for a c section and asked the anaesthetist for anti emetics more than anti pain relief ! I have my priorities …

you can and will cope and I’m happy to chat if you want further advice or support