TTC, worried about perimenopause, late period

[User651627]

Hello,

I've been TTC #1 since February 2023. I am 34 years old. In April I got pregnant after three months of trying but this ended in a chemical. There's been nothing since.

I have regular cycles always about 30 days and always ovulate around CD14 based on ovulation sticks.

This month my period is 10 days late and counting but I'm not pregnant. I got a positive OPK at the usual time which faded to negative. I have no signs my period is coming any time soon either. I took another OPK yesterday out of curiosity and it was very negative, the most negative I have ever seen,

I'm worried I could be becoming perimenopausal since my mum started around 36 and her mother was early too. This is the first month my period has done anything strange so should I try and get tests done to get ahead of this (if that's possible) to try and still be able to have a family? I feel so worried.

I'm sorry to hear this. You should get your hormones tested but also check into other things that could cause these issues like thyroid etc. If your mother and grandmother had early menopause, it would not be a bad thing to have a check up.

@User651627 I thought I was going through this recently at 38 as my periods were becoming erratic and some months I would not have one at all, I went to the doctors who did bloods to check everything and all came back normal, I was also referred for a scan which in the mean time I fell pregnant by pure fluke! Try not to worry our bodies do strange things the older we get and it's likely just to be stress etc causing it perhaps but it's worth chatting to a doctor and just ruling out anything else 😊

I am 35. After my first baby my periods came back as normal 28 day cycles and then suddenly went haywire for 6 months, cycles lasting 40+ days.

I am fortunate to have private health care so I maybe got a bit more investigation than the NHS would offer. They tested all my hormones on day 3, I had my ovaries scanned which showed they had shrunk down quite a lot, consistent with menopause. I then paid for a tracked cycle to see if I was ovulating which that month was a no.

Are you having any menopausal symptoms because apart from my weird periods I didn't have any hot flushes etc which apparently is a good sign. You said your mum started peri young but when did her period actually stop? My mum started peri fairly young but menopause wasn't until normal age in 50s.

Good news is I am currently 10 weeks pregnant. So even if you are in peri, while you're kicking out an egg you can get pregnant.

Lots of other things can delay your period and I suggest getting basic bloods done for Vitamin D, thyroid and estrogen at the GP - they're quite happy to investigate a missing period but they may say don't worry as its only been 1 cycle.

@Knock123 thank you so much that is so reassuring! I don't have any other symptoms other than this one cycle I'm currently in where my period hasn't shown.

My mums periods became irregular around age 36 and so she got the coil and that was it. After getting the coil she doesn't know when she actually completed menopause.

I've got a GP appointment now for October so getting the ball rolling with tests. I have private healthcare too so is there any specific tests you recommend? If my GP doesn't give me everything I can look to my insurance.

Honestly I'd just get a private referral to a gynaecologist. Your GP will probably be happy to do day 3 bloods which check your hormones but it's whether you can actually get an appointment for a blood test on day 3 of your period if you don't know when it's going to arrive! One month in time also doesn't really tell them anything, you need a few months to get a good picture. This will be tricky with the NHS if your first results come back 'normal'.

I'd really not stress too much, one month can be anything and it is likely the GP won't be too concerned. When my periods went weird I raised it a couple of times and they only got concerned after about 4 months.

There's a test called AMH which you can get done privately but doubt your insurance will cover it as it is fertility.

Basically eggs produce this AMH hormone and if the hormone is high it indicates a high egg reserve and if low, it indicates a low egg reserve. I got mine tested and it came back low which really stressed me out. The Doctor said it's only 1 piece of the puzzle and is a better indication for how successful IVF could be but with all my other results (hormones all over the place, irregular periods, small ovaries) it all kind of fitted together as bad news. I learnt that it's only really valid if you have been trying to get pregnant without success for a long time and low AMH doesn't mean you can't conceive and is not a diagnosis for early menopause.

I kind of regret having the test done as it sent me into a bit of a spiral and at that point I hadn't actually tried to get pregnant! As soon as I tried, I got pregnant which I realise is very lucky. I'm just throwing this out there because it is a test you may read about and totally up to you if you have it done, but I kind of wish I had never known.

You say the sticks are saying you are ovulating but are you tracking your cycle by doing your temp and tracking cervical mucus? That was one the gynaecologist asked and I was able to show that I was ovulating but often later in the month and he said that was a good sign. I sometimes got a few peaks from the sticks but the temperature spike is conclusive.

I’d look into tests but try not to worry. It could just be stress or some other reason. You can still get pregnant even if it is peri. I had some strange cycles before I became pregnant and was worried something similar was happening as I was usually regular. All the best x

I just wanted to update to say I got my period exactly 14 days late!

Oh good, hope it was jsut a one month blip. Definitely see if you can get a blood test in the next couple of days

@Knock123 well you give me hope please don’t judge I’m 52 NTNP either I think I’ve just hit perimenopause but I do have my periods quite regularly I use opks and bbt to confirm ovulation currently cd 5 .. I set up a thread for women who think there peri/menopausal who are finding it difficult to get pregnant and omg the backlash I’ve got off it no positivity at all there are saying I should use donnor eggs all sorts it’s made me quite sad to be honest but I’m glad you have the chance to become a mother again …

I know my chances at my age is minimal but dosnt stop me hoping right .

@TraceyTarotReader in the kindest way possible, there is quite a difference in a 35 year old getting irregular periods and then getting pregnant vs a 52 year old. Just natural biology - we are born with a limited number of eggs and it's highly unlikely that the quality of your eggs at 52 will be high enough for a viable pregnancy.

I think you need to also consider if you did manage to have a child, you would be 70 when they are only 18 and that's a huge burden on a teenager.

Best of luck

I have to disagree with some comments. I had my first baby at 19 then another at 21. I then went on to have another at 45. The pregnancies were exactly the same and still producing eggs that are obviously of excellent quality as she's running around as I speak. I wouldn't think twice about having anymore in fact feel healthier and fitter now than I did when I was younger. There is no burden on a teenager if they have a parent in their 70's. Who knows how long any of us will live till so all we should do is just show love, support and guidance to our children and that's all any of us need. My husband was 57 when my little girl was born and he's an absolutely amazing, fit and healthy dad. Keep trying @Knock123

@Maturemummy1 i agree with you many women in there late 40s and 50s are conceiving with their own eggs and that’s a miracle to me I’m 52 and NTNP I’m healthy and work out 3 times a week life is to short to get stressed what age your gunna be when the child’s a certain age just enjoy whatever your given is what I say I’d love to be a new mommy all over again but comments like my eggs are not any good for a viable pregnancy at my age just brings me down I could have said that when I have my first miscarriage at 17 years old and then went on to have 3 healthy children and then at 36 miscarriages at 36,39 and 41 so my eggs are shit at 17 years old why is it it’s people who comment on stuff like this are already pregnant or just had a baby give us a break we are trying sorry gets my back up x