What does it feel like emotionally to be pregnant?

[Mooshamoo]

I see so many posts online about the physical aspects of pregnancy. I don't see anyone talking much about the emotional side of pregnancy. I was just wondering.

Does it feel like "oh my god there is a being inside me, thata amazing"

Do you feel a really strong emotional bond to the baby inside you.

Does it feel like a really strong love when the baby and emotional connection when the baby is inside. Does it feel like you're not alone? Id love to hear about it

Completely different between my first and second! Less stressed this time round because it's not a complete unknown that we're walking in to amongst other things.

I didn't feel emotionally connected to my first and I don't massively this time either although I do enjoy the kicks which are pretty constant and she seems to react to my touch aswell which is nice.

I feel like uncomfortable most of the time and I'm only 25 weeks so I can't imagine that feeling any easier.

I agree with a pp who says they sometimes feel 2 emotions and once and don't know what's right or the dominant one, im very much in that camp.

Im trying to enjoy it more because it will definitely be the last but it's easier said than done when it literally affects every aspect of my life at the moment 😂

Sylvia Path described the unborn baby as ‘vague as fog, and looked for like Mail’. I found a cognitive dissonance between my growing ‘fatness’ and the baby I would soon have. You’re growing a stranger. You know they will ‘arrive’ like a delivery at a certain point. They are closer to you than anyone ever, yet more unknown to you than any other relative in your life.

I remember the last month beginning to ‘know’ her a little. She would kick me if I lay on a certain side, and I would say ‘Alright, alright’ and change position. She was breech so her head was under my right rib and I could actually cup my hand over her head and sort of ‘stroke it’. She would ripple under my skin like the Loch Ness Monster. It’s like growing your soul into a human form, yet you have no idea what your soul is or will be.

When she was born, it was utterly bizarre… it becomes real! It’s a baby. When I saw her face, she was both a stranger and a face I felt I had known all of my life.

I think it's very personal and there is no 'right' thing. I've found it exceptionally anxiety inducing, not to a level that I needed help for my mental health, I've just had a lot of complications. I was told I'd never conceive naturally, had horrendous sickness early on, losing over a stone. I also had lots of bleeds and pain that continued right up to 27 weeks. I've been admitted for suspected ectopic, antenatal haemorrhages, conversations about viability, and been convinced I'm losing him. That's without the other complications with my placenta etc.

If I'm just sat on the sofa I don't sit there and go 'omg I love my baby so much, I feel so connected', but equally the terror every time I see the blood, the relief when I hear his heartbeat on the doppler tells me I love this baby more than anything.

When I bought his crib and car seat etc I sobbed because I'd just had a bleed a couple days before, and a conversation with consultant about how early he could be coming if bleeding didn't get under control. I was convinced I'd jinxed it and I'd wake up in a pool of blood. I settled down after a good sob about it.

Now I'm 31 weeks and most of my complications have resolved themselves, he moves constantly and I'm much less anxious because of it. I'm chilled out buying stuff for him, I can go into the baby sections and look at all the cute baby stuff without a pit in my stomach. I still can't let myself fully believe I'll be going home with a baby, I'm still sticking to essentials, but I'm so much better. Now I spend my time either in pain because he's beating my insides up, or worried about why he isn't (rationale side of me knows he's asleep 😂) I wake up to him shuffling around, he's not shy to let me know if I'm slouching and impeding on his personal space, he lets me know if I've eaten too much and he doesn't appreciate loss of room 😅. Feeling a baby move inside of me was one of my biggest fears going into pregnancy, now I think I'll feel lonely when he's out!

I'd been desperate for a baby since I was 18. Finally fell pregnant at 36 and felt nothing. It was the strangest thing. Something I'd imagined would be this amazing thing for half of my life and... nothing. I wasn't happy or unhappy. Just numb. I was maybe slightly relieved that I'd been able to conceive. My partner cried because he was so happy and I felt like a bit of a fraud! None of it felt real because ultimately all that had happened was that I'd peed on a stick! I had crippling anxiety whilst pregnant and I never let myself imagine having my baby so I never felt massively 'connected' to him. It was largely about self-preservation I think. Loved him without question from the moment he appeared in the world.

Once I’d had the 12 week scanI loved being pregnant, I found it to be so lovely. Before that 12 week scan I was a ball of anxiety. I was very lucky and only had quite mild morning sickness at the start and the rest was plain sailing.

I found it brought me and my partner so much more closer, we loved lying in bed and feeling the babs moving round and everywhere I went people would ask baby questions and give me special treatment like opening doors, gave up seats etc.

It was a nice experience and I felt really lucky.

It can vary.

First trimester can be a bag of shite and really make you feel down. I felt totally doomed the second time.

Also depends what else you’ve got going on. If you’re having to work, look after a toddler and deal with physical symptoms, your mind is often too distracted for more emotions.

Annoyingly I spent most of my first pregnancy really anxious about the health of the baby / worried about loosing her. I can't say I felt overly connected, more just that I was desperately worried about every little thing. I think that took over.

The moment she was born I felt a surge of love like nothing I've ever experienced and it's just grown from there. That feeling didn't compare much to the pregnancy feeling to be honest.

Because I never had any pregnancy symptoms other than no period I never felt pregnant in my head, I felt my baby kick which was nice but never connected the dots to actually feel pregnant, the child is now taller than me but it all feels surreal that I had a baby at all

I’ve only had one pregnancy which ended in a loss. I didn’t feel much emotionally, but I did feel quite calm and resigned to whatever outcome. I never thought of it being a baby, and hadn’t had a scan when I had the loss (11 weeks). Glad I hadn’t, it’s helped to not really think it was real.

Pregnancy makes me feel like my husband is the most irritating person on the planet. I have zero bond to the ephemeral thing growing inside me and yet I'm worried about it all the time.

I think it's different for everyone.
I've been pregnant 3 times and was quite all over the place emotionally. Was like being a teenager.
The first pregnancy was particularly bad and I ended up with pnd. Found it very hard to regulate my emotions and deal with anxiety. Felt very alienated from my own body.

I also lost my first pregnancy - it was at 15 weeks and I just felt like the lights went out. The electric in my belly went off. So being pregnant the second time was stressful - particularly going for scans -since that's how I found out the first baby was dead. But then I wouldn't have my beautiful Bird if that child had survived.

Aside from all that I felt the emotional bond with my subsequent pregnancies once I could feel the baby moving around inside me. I loved feeling the kicking and could get very emotional holding my tummy and feeling them inside. The hormones helped that too obviously as I was more teary and sensitive (and felt very queasy for the first trimester).

But I think I had post part in depression after my daughters birth so that was a shock that the emotion didn't just gush (probably to do with the stressful pregnancy). But it was fine with my son.

I've always felt it viscerally that my two DC are my flesh and blood - that never changes. Underneath it all I'm only ever as happy as my unhappiest child.

I was super excited when we found out, but like a PP said, you find out and then you just have to crack on with life as nothing's happening yet. I was totally mentally focused on the baby in terms of literally not giving a shit about work from the moment I found out, my entire instagram became baby stuff because that's all I was searching for, I spent stupid money on expensive clothes before realising you can get a 10 pack of vests from a supermarket for like £7. I was so buzzing.

Then the physical symptoms started and when I look back on my pregnancy now, the main feelings I had were anxiety and just like a feeling of being so drained by the process. I didn't find out the sex, I didn't really enjoy the feeling of movement and kicks (though I was happy he was doing ok in there) and by the end of it I was just sick of the whole bloody thing. I like to think now that if I'm lucky enough to have another I won't accept an induction and will just try to let my body go into labour, but the reality is that I was 39+4, went in for reduced movements and although he looked absolutely fine I took the induction because I just wanted him out and was sick of being pregnant. I can't guarantee that won't happen again haha. So yeah the overwhelming feeling was I am so happy to be having a baby but wow, this process sucks.

I was worried about seeing him for the first time because a lot of people warned me that big gush of instant love doesn't always happen and it's perfectly fine and normal if it doesn't, but for me it absolutely was instant and the previous 9 months of feeling shite and aggy were suddenly worth it. I wouldn't have said I felt particularly bonded to him before he came out I guess. I loved him but I didn't know him until he arrived.

Emotional rollercoaster that affects quite a few things not directly related to the baby.

Work/trivial social dilemmas - could not give the tiniest fuck. Note that my work LIKE this, because I'm not overwrought about situations as many are, I just handle them and move on.

Socially re: baby - can really, REALLY wind me up. As soon as some people know you're pregnant, it's like it's the only thing they can talk about. You may or may not like this.

Family - can expose dynamics in all sorts of ways. My dad is the same as ever, brought out the best in my mum. I appreciate my GMIL more than ever, my MIL is a mixed bag of brilliant and awful. I really can't bloody stand my FIL. My baby will be related to all these people.

I have random cries that my brain knows is for no reason.

You might have to do lots of extra bodily self-care that makes you feel like a bloody tamogotchi that needs some kind of care every few hours.

Learning about birth and making choices etc can be quite wearing. You are expected to learn quite a lot and then make judgements which feel very high-stakes. For what it's worth, my choice has been to learn as little as possible and go with basic instincts, because the knowledge doesn't really make the decision.

I find it very hard to connect to the baby when pregnant (2nd pregnancy) . I of course envision what the future will be like and I do care for them (nutritionally, taking vitamins, protecting my stomach) I would also worry about defects etc as I’m sure most moms do. But I wouldn’t say I ‘love’ them, whereas my sister indeed would cry with love for her unborn babies .

It has been nice reading this thread.
Both pregnancies were very different. I’ll go with the second as it’s still fresh in mind.

first trimester was physically exhausting which made it emotionally draining for me. I would cry because I couldn’t handle a simple task like washing the dishes. Felt like I was loosing myself. I think if I didn’t have the pressure to continue with work and because I wasn’t telling people (I told a few close friends) I would have enjoyed it more as I remember spending a full week just sleeping and taking it easy but being grateful to my body that it was working hard at producing a life.

second trimester I had more life. I would forget I was pregnant until I felt a wiggle or looked at my bump! Emotionally I felt fine. More so worried about the future. Also happy that my body was working hard. I’ve spoken to all of my bumps. So that is quite nice.

third - very similar to second. I also think there are moments of anxiety as you worry about the baby being fine and childbirth etc (for me anyway) and because people know you are pregnant at this point it’s accepting the small kind things people do.

I loved both my pregnancies. I liked the feeling of carrying a new life. I didn’t find out the sex of either child and had fun using old wives’ tales to guess. I’m not an overly emotional person but hormonally, pregnancy suited me.

I didn't feel much (emotionally) to be honest. No particular feelings towards the baby inside me. It mainly felt a bit surreal that there was a person in there. I'm now pregnant with my second and I still find it hard to get my head around the fact that this massive bump is a baby which will be coming out soon.

My first pregnancy was ectopic and I think I knew deep down from the start that something was wrong (I didn't get a positive test until I was 5 days late and it was very faint and I was just riddled with anxiety over everything). It ended with surgery at 7+4.

I was quite anxious during my short lived second pregnancy in case it was another ectopic. Miscarried at 5+2, before I'd had my 5 week scan to check it was in utero so had a lovely day in A&E to get a scan and praying I wasn't going to lose a second tube.

I'm now 7+5 with my 3rd (and now more pregnant than I've ever been before). I've had two scans including a viability scan with EPU a few days ago and I've seen baby's heartbeat. I'm less anxious as I know I can recover from losses. I must be quite anxious on some subconscious level though as I have dreams where I start bleeding again. I just keep aiming for the next stage (8 weeks, 9 weeks, booking in, 12 week scan etc) and hoping it's third time lucky. I kind of wish I could skip to 12 weeks though!

With my first I can’t even pinpoint when I felt any attachment to him tbh, even when he was born. I knew what I should be feeling but I didn’t feel it. It was quite a while before I felt like I fully knew and loved him. It was different with my second, and with her I had a bond even before she was born. There’s no right or wrong x