What does it feel like emotionally to be pregnant?

[Mooshamoo]

I see so many posts online about the physical aspects of pregnancy. I don't see anyone talking much about the emotional side of pregnancy. I was just wondering.

Does it feel like "oh my god there is a being inside me, thata amazing"

Do you feel a really strong emotional bond to the baby inside you.

Does it feel like a really strong love when the baby and emotional connection when the baby is inside. Does it feel like you're not alone? Id love to hear about it

I didn't really feel any of that, it's quite a gradual experience. You think a lot about what's to come, what will they be like, look like, become etc. I felt like I was missing out on life a lot of the time while I was pregnant but then once the babies were out I've thought I wish I'd enjoyed it more.

Agree with PP it's a gradual experience and different emotions come and grow and build. I'd say I started to bond with baby once I knew he was a boy, as I could just picture him in our lives that more accurately. I'd also say along with the happy emotions, there are high levels of a burden of responsibility of the wellbeing of the baby and that can sometimes be emotionally draining. But yes when they move in a pattern and on a daily basis you do feel never alone as they remind you of their presence all the time! But again that feels so normal because it's been a gradual build up.

The first trimester was just riddled with anxiety after suffering a loss so it was very emotional but not in a good way. Once I had the 12 week scan and found out the gender with the NIPT test, that's when, in addition to the anxiety, I felt more emotionally connected and started feeling a deep bond with that little human being that I haven't met yet. It was like a switch, even though I still find it surreal to have someone growing inside me. As other said, it is a gradual process. I hope I will get to feel the kicks and the flutters then it will definitely feel real.

I found being pregnant a really lovely experience emotionally but i was also incredibly stressed in my first trimester after losses. I used to love the feeling of my baby with me at all times and felt very bonded with both of them in the womb. I used to love their kicks. I found out the sex of both of mine and felt more emotionally bonded when i knew who they were, named them and could picture them etc.
I think its also quite a stressful time, stress about their health and having a succesful labour, also exhaustion. But generally i felt happy and loved them before they were born.

Agree it changed as pregnancy progressed. My first trimester I had bleeding and I was on edge constantly, so anxious, tearful. I was too focused on staying pregnant to be happy. It got better after 12 weeks and better still after I started to feel movement about 16 weeks. After we found out the sex and heard the heartbeat I would say that's when a proper bond started forming and I allowed myself to be happy!

Emotionally for me it was very up and down! Depends how your pregnancy goes medically.

For me it was a very mixed bag. Often experiencing two conflicting emotions at the same time and not really sure which emotion was the right one or even the dominant emotion. Some things were gradual but there were key moments when the bond formed or deepened.

We’d been trying for a few months, wanted a baby but when I got the positive pregnancy test, it was a bit like what now? This major thing happened but you’ve also just got to get on and go make breakfast, go do a food shop because it’s happening but not for ages. There was a big moment of “oh shit” and realising life wouldn’t be the same (even if I had a loss, that loss would stay with me) but I was also really hungry and wanted my breakfast. A big thing is happening but it’s also not. I felt no emotional attachment to the baby until I had some cramping and a bit of spotting, then I became really attached to it. The attachment grew over time but for me the prospect of loss sparked that attachment. I had a scan at 10 weeks and another 12. I don’t know if because baby still looked like a blob at 10 weeks or the residual risk of miscarriage still but the connection didn’t deepen at the first scan, it did after the second one though.

I didn’t enjoy being pregnant but I did feel really sad towards the end of my pregnancy that I had to share her with the world. I was desperate to meet her and see her personality grow, desperate to get her here safely but I also didn’t want to share her. Inside me, she was all mine. DH would try to feel her kicking but she was awkward and would often stop when he touched my stomach but I could feel her all the time. Even when she wasn’t kicking, I was aware I was pregnant. I knew her so well before she’d even arrived, I hated being pregnant and was growing quite anxious not being able to see what was going on inside but I still didn’t want to share her. Even with my husband. I also wanted to meet her but I was scared about the magnitude of what was to come - actually being a parent.

I’m currently 23 weeks pregnant with our much wanted IVF conceived baby. I would say I don’t feel connected to the baby and I’m not sure if that’s something I should be feeling. I was convinced I would love the baby from the moment I found out I was pregnant but that hasn’t happened.

Of course I am very happy everything is ok with the baby and I still want the baby but that connection isn’t there yet. I’m hoping it’ll come with time.

I felt completely normal, no real attachments to the baby growing inside until he was out. The strong love and awe is completely idealised and not reality IMO

@toodledo I am really happy to hear this. I often feel like I ‘should’ be feeling in love/an attachment etc but I don’t.

@Infertilitylife no, it's all bollocks, a mythical feeling you're "supposed" to have that I don't believe exists for the majority! When I was pregnant I was like wow, my body is changing a lot, from a clinical sort of POV... but no hard love. And even when he was born it took a while. All completely normal!

I mean yes I suppose there is no 'right' way to feel when you're pregnant and I'm sure plenty of women don't feel a strong bond until baby arrives... But i don't think its all bollocks or mythical either, hence being devastated when I lost babies.

My placenta was at the front and I barely felt any movement the whole time. Even when I was massive I would spend most of the day not really feeling pregnant because I couldn't physically feel very much.

For me personally, it was amazing. It’s worth mentioning that I haven’t suffered a miscarriage before, so that probably has some sway on my feelings, as is the fact it took us a relatively long time to conceive. I just felt glowy and just so happy all the time, even when I was vomiting multiple times everyday throughout my pregnancy, I just felt like it was worth it. I did feel a strong connection to baby almost immediately, thought about who they’d be, who they’d look like, who they’d sound like, all of that.
There’s definitely no right or wrong or ‘normal’ though, just saying how I felt. Everyone feels differently I think.

Mixed. Sometimes I felt petrified, sometimes anxious, sometimes happy. TBH I didn't really think too much about the end result until the end as I was so worried about everything being OK.

I felt very bonded from day 1, I'd waited a long time to be pregnant and felt it was my "child" in there from when I saw the heartbeat at 6 weeks. My partner was the same too which I think is rarer. It can definitely be like that. But my NCT friend told me she felt quite detached, couldn't conceptualise it as a baby even close to delivery. It didn't make a difference, once they were born they were both very loved.

Simultaneously the most powerful and the most vulnerable I have ever felt in my life.

I loved it 😍

I didn't feel any particular connection with any of mine til they were born. I sometimes felt anxious, particularly during my first pregnancy, but not much apart from that.

I was incredibly busy throughout my pregnancy, commuting internationally and trying to get a big project finished before I went on leave (because I couldn’t fly after 36 weeks so would have to start leave then), so honestly, didn’t really give the baby a thought until he arrived!

I’m 26 weeks and it’s been a real mixture.

Up until 12 weeks I was just anxious about every twinge, any changes. Didn’t believe it was real so didn’t bond whatsoever as I was scared of loss.

Post 12 weeks was a lot better, but then I was a bit worried on feeling movement / not feeling movement, but generally a nice phase of telling people, going on holiday, thinking about names.

It’s only post 20 weeks I’ve allowed myself to really relax and start getting excited and imagining life with a baby.

It’s weird, I would give everything to make sure she’s here healthy and safe, but I don’t feel bonded with the bump, I feel bonded with my future baby once she’s here. The idea of reading / talking to my bump is still a bit cringey!!

Physically I’ve found pregnancy pretty easy (I’ve been very lucky) and I haven’t really had any mood swings or anything like that.

To sum up I’d say some excitement, trepidation mingled with low level worry.

@Lorelaigilmore88 I think that's a fair point, but I think there's a difference between feeling not much when you're pregnant and feeling very upset with a loss - as you never got a chance to get to know the baby you thought you'd have. You could feel one then the other if you had a loss, or not at all and be completely in love with your baby before they're born (minority I feel).

My point was more around the the idealised view of feeling a strong maternal instinct from pregnancy is overglorified and puts undue expectations on how you're 'supposed' to feel

Years ago there used to be documentaries on either channel 4 or 5, about people with really rare birth defects and diseases, usually found in remote Asia villages. Remember them? When I pregnant I felt like I was on one of those, like a freak, there was a human being inside of me, with arms and legs and heart etc, growing. It was like some form of alien experiment. I was really grossed out for the whole pregnancy whenever I thought about the baby.
I didn't bond until I gave birth and I adore my dc to pieces. I just never liked being pregnant

Im on my 3rd pregnancy and it doesn't feel 'real' tbh it didn't with the others until baby was born!

Emotionally it's been a struggle with bad sickness and nausea, but also happiness at finding out the sex, seeing DDs happy and excited.

Honestly for me it's a completely abstract and non emotional concept to me until the baby is actually in my arms. I'm still calling the baby 'it' even though I know she's a girl! It's just totally bizarre to me that there's an entire little human being inside me grown from scratch.

It probably depends on the person though, I'm not particularly emotional or sentimental in general.

The one thing I do find 'emotionally' difficult is the attention from others. I hate being treated as if I can't or shouldnt be doing certain things. I hate people asking how I am with this face of sympathy expecting me to tell them how terrible it is being pregnant. And I hate it being the only topic of conversation for some people. There's plenty going on in my life other than being pregnant!

@SherbetLemonn I can completely agree with this. It took us 18 months to conceive and I’m unbelievably lucky to not of suffered loss or any problems really so far and I’m 26 weeks in a couple of days.

I had a strong sense that she was a girl and I was correct, I think naming her and knowing that she was worth the wait has really cemented my pregnancy for me. I literally could burst with how excited I am to start our new journey as a family of 3.

Felt no different at all at the start. Had zero nausea so if anything I didn’t believe it until I had the scan.