Gender disappointment

[KikiCB32]

Hi there,
I’ve (32 F) recently joined mumsnet because I have become increasingly worried about how I am currently feeling about my pregnancy. I am 12 weeks with my first child. I have recently found out via a NIPT the gender - a little boy. However, since finding this out I have been suffering extreme fear, anxiety and dare I say disappointment not just associated with gender, but around my pregnancy as a whole. I never really imagined myself with a child and maybe the few times I have it would have been a little girl, but I never thought I had a preference to either. It appears that finding out gender has shaken me and I can’t focus on anything positive about my pregnancy. The guilt is eating me up and I feel so ungrateful for being blessed with a little boy.

I guess I’m after any shared experiences or advice on how best to manage these feelings, as the thought of going through the next 6 months like this is exhausting.

Thank you so much in advanced.

Thank you @Dolly56 it is really insightful to hear all the different experiences, it is exactly the type of information I was after just to understand ways of understanding why I am feeling how I do. I am glad you had your moment of realisation as what your body went through is nothing short of amazing! Pleased to hear you had a healthy baby girl after the traumatic start. Thank you

I understand how you feel. I grew up as the eldest of 6 sisters and 1 brother. I lost my first pregnancy early on, I went on to have my first son. Then with my second pregnancy I had to find out what I was having because I didn't realise how much I longed for a girl, we found out I was having a boy and honestly I cried in the car. I have more in common with my youngest son and I love both my son's to bits but there will always be that piece missing. That being said, I have some soul searching of why I'm so upset, especially when my boys are 10 and 7 now. I think the thing that gets me is also how family react when they know you'd have liked a different gender, patronising and almost mock feeling sorry for you like naaaaw bet you wish you had a girl.... Literally 50/50 chance and nothing I can change. Of course you want a healthy baby but that doesn't change the fact that if you have a certain picture in your head it's hard to accept it isn't going to happen. Best of luck.xx