Our child is three and they are adorable and wonderful and everything we could have asked for and more but we found that we were not really enjoying parenthood as much as we would have liked and I was left feeling like I very much lost myself in everything so husband and I agreed to a vasectomy when she was 18 months. He went to all the appointments and check ups and everything was clear. Or so we thought.
But as you can imagine I’m pregnant now. And totally distraught. On top of that when explaining to the doctor that my husband had a vasectomy and needed to be looked at l got the dirtiest looks from the nurses like I was such an awful cheating human being. I already felt insecure because even though my husband never questioned it I saw the look of doubt in his eyes and I felt crushed. I’m not holding it against him. I realize this situation is very unlikely so I probably would have questioned it too if the situation was reversed but it still stings.
The test came back and needless to say they found evidence that the vasectomy reversed itself and my name has been cleared! The doctors and nurses have suddenly been very sympathetic to me and are very apologetic they offered to get their most experienced surgeon in to fix the reversal in a few weeks.
But here I am still with a very unplanned pregnancy and at a loss. I have never been a huge fan of abortions which played a role in our decision to get the snip! But now at a cross roads left to decide if we should start over again with another baby or choose to terminate.
I think I’m leaning to terminate but I don’t think I’ll ever get over it.