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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When the baby is born what is visiting like?

11 replies

emilybr · 22/09/2023 10:05

I'm having a baby and father isn't around.

I will have my mum there to help me look after the baby but I assume she can't stay overnight?

What time can visitors/partners be there?

Is the baby with you at all times?

Are the wards shared, no way to pay for a private room?

I'm asking because I've got mental health issues and sleep triggers stuff.

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Olika · 22/09/2023 10:07

I am not sure if that depends on the hospital but at my ward there were dads overnight sleeping on a rollaway bed next to the mum and baby. Babies were in cots next to mums. There was also a lady whose SIL was there with her around the clock. Next time you get seen at the hospital I would ask about all the things you want to know so you can plan.

Summer2424 · 22/09/2023 10:15

Hi @emilybr
I had my baby last year, no one was allowed to stay overnight hun but don't worry the nurses will take good care of you. My baby was born at night, it's like nature gives you this amazing strength to get through it.
Visitors were allowed on the ward at 8am.
Baby was with me the whole time.
You can ask for a private room, i did but nothing was available.
All the best hun, honestly don't worry about anything xx

BingBongBoo86 · 22/09/2023 10:17

I got a private room after the birth, but it depends on availability. You can’t pre-book or anything. My partner was allowed to stay with me overnight.

I was induced and stayed in on the ward for two days prior. My partner was allowed to stay with me all day, from 10am to 8pm, no issues. Everyone had their partners there.

Best to check with your midwife about visiting times etc. Every birth is different so might depend on what time you go in. I was induced at 3am in the morning and after my partner was made to go home as it was not visiting hours.

User9088 · 22/09/2023 10:20

It will vary depending on your hospital. Partners were allowed overnight for me earlier this year. Then you could have one other visitor during a set afternoon slot. I was in a ward of 4 beds. My friend had a baby around the same time in a different town and her ward was 6 beds. I have also heard of people who were able to pay for a single room. You need to have a chat to your midwife to see what your hospital does. Try not to worry - get the info you need and then you can feel prepared. Baby will be with you all the time.

Lookingdownoncreation · 22/09/2023 10:25

Your mum should be allowed overnight - at our hospital she would be, at least. ‘Partners’ refers to your birth partner, not a romantic one! So our hospital allows one birth partner and then they can stay overnight. Check with your midwife though as obviously there are lots of regional differences post-covid.

reallyfedup12 · 22/09/2023 10:35

No partners allowed here, and no visitors after 8pm. I think it varies from hospital to hospital.

YouveGotAFastCar · 22/09/2023 10:41

It's completely hospital dependant.

At ours, if you have a straightforward birth, you are discharged with baby two hours later.

If you need to stay overnight, birth partners can stay until 8pm; or three hours after baby was born - so if baby arrives at 7pm, they could stay until 10pm. They then leave until morning, but you're on a ward with curtains around you, and nurses are around. You can press a button to call them over, or they'll check on you both every few hours. Baby is in a small cot next to your bed.

Some hospitals do allow you to pay for a private room; but most won't if you're having NHS maternity care, to avoid a two-tier system. You can't always have someone stay with you even if you are in a private room, and you may be moved out of it if someone with higher needs requires it.

The nurses and your midwife can provide extra support if you need it. The lady who was next to me after I had my son had her midwife and a nurse with her a lot, to provide reassurance and help out with her new baby. They were very happy to be involved and the lady found it really helpful.

PickledScrump · 22/09/2023 11:53

At all hospitals your baby will be kept in a cot next to you. Everything else is hospital dependent. In my area there are no hospitals that allow your partner to stay overnight and no private rooms available. There are set visiting times throughout the day which is the only times anyone can come in. This is to make sure new mums get plenty of time to rest, bond and establish feeding without strangers coming in and out of the wards.

fearfuloffluff · 22/09/2023 12:09

Are you worried about being alone, or other people being in the ward, or both?

DH stayed on the ward when I had DC1, slept in a chair by the bed for the best part of a week. The hospital had private side rooms that could be hired privately subject to availability - women who had had a difficult birth got priority.

There were set times for visitors but partners could stay pretty much the whole time. The baby stayed with me the whole time (even had to wheel cot to the toilet and shower etc)

You should talk about this with your midwife, they could put notes on your file recommending a private room. You might also want to look at the different hospitals near you and see if some have more private rooms, different policies on visitors etc. I spent some time in a standalone birth centre that had double beds in private ensuite rooms, it was lovely! Postnatal ward on a big hospital was less lovely.

I'm pretty sure you'd be able to keep your mum with you throughout, if you explain the circumstances and put your foot down.

fearfuloffluff · 22/09/2023 12:13

I know all the people saying 'don't worry, nurses are lovely' - let's be honest, often postnatal wards aren't lovely, they're stressful and chaotic and noisy and the nurses are overworked and sometimes blunt to the point of being rude. It's good to be prepared for that, I found the postnatal ward much more traumatic than birth itself and I'm not the only one.

Not to worry you OP, but it's good to have a bit of clarity of what the policies are. And if necessary, be adamant about needing your mum. The midwives will usually prefer letting someone have that support than have a big argument and a distraught mother.

DuploTrain · 22/09/2023 12:17

The baby will be with you at all times (unless there was a specific medical emergency with the baby - very unlikely).

After you’ve finished giving birth you’ll probably stay in your labour room for a few hours. Then you’ll be transferred to the ward (shared). The baby will be in a cot with wheels that will be put next to your bed. You can wheel it to the bathroom with you when you need to go, if you want to.

They have to monitor you and the baby for a certain number of hours. But if all is straightforward, if you give birth in the morning you might be able to go home later the same day. If you give birth in the evening you will have to stay overnight and go home the next morning.

I was really worried about being in the ward as well, but it was honestly fine. Everyone is in the same situation, having just given birth. There was only one other person on the ward I was on, it was really quiet.

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