What are the birth options?

[emilybr]

I feel like an idiot for writing this but I'm nearly 30 weeks and keep on asking what birth I want.

I feel stupid for asking them to give me the information of what's available.... I feel like I should already know.

There are no antinatal classes or anything due to post covid.

I know I should be asking these things of my midwife but I just feel like it's something I should know and my midwife appointments have been ending in them talking about stuff I don't need to talk about...

I would have expected a hand out or given a list of options. I've spoken to so many people and I know it's mostly me being overwhelmed by everything.... (I've had a few issues)l.

Some useful info here:

https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/preparing-for-the-birth/where-to-give-birth-the-options/#:~:text=You%20can%20give%20birth%20at,extent%2C%20on%20where%20you%20live.

and also here:

https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/labour-and-birth/preparing-for-the-birth/how-to-make-a-birth-plan/

So, it's mainly where you want to give birth, who you want with you, what interventions you might agree to or refuse, what pain management options you might agree to or refuse, what additional extras do you want eg birthing pool, what you want afterwards for baby (skin to skin, partner cutting cord, vitamin K injection, feeding methods etc).

I would really recommend reading the positive birth book by Milli Hill

It covers everything in a really easy to digest way. In short, your birth preferences include where to give birth (labour ward, MLU or home), what pain relief options you want (or don't want), whether you'd like to try a water birth, who you want with you etc etc

And then preferences after the birth too - immediate skin to skin, breastfeeding or not, uninterrupted first hour, preferences on cord cutting (who and when), injection or not to birth the placenta, vitamin k for the baby

The book discusses what all these things are and will help you decide what your preferences might be and help you to write a birth plan

Thanks.

But they don't mention anything about skin to skin, injections, cord clamping etc.

Download the template birth plan from the second link in my previous post - that has a comprehensive list of everything including all of those things.

Thank you.
That's so useful and I really feel like this should be given to everyone as a refernce.

With my two pregnancies, I had something similar to that birth plan template in my physical notes file - are they still a thing or is it all computerised now?

All digital

There are no antinatal classes or anything due to post covid.

Are you in the UK?

You should be able to find antenatal classes, most places are back up and running post covid. My hospital has an online options session, and there are plenty of NCT/Daisy/independent sessions run locally. Can you ask on your local FB pages for suggestions?

There are no antinatal classes or anything due to post covid.
I had to check the date this was written! If you’re in england there are antenatal classes, including online options if there are no in person classes local to you.

Do you want help finding some?

Of the things you mentioned, cord clamping and injections are what 95% + do in line with the norm, that is do it. Skin to skin is pretty normal now though personally I would recommend requesting that your baby is helped to feed almost straight away then covered over, dd2 was placed to feed straight away and she was a breeze to breastfeed!

Please also remember that medical needs come first so if they need any interventions your birth plan will be deviated from, safety always is a priority

Hi @YellowHatt and @RebeccaCloud9 I meant nhs ones. I've been given links to Baby Academy free ones which I've been attending.

I just feel like I'm having to ask for everything and I'm just so overwhelmed with everything. I don't even know how to engage with the perinatal team today when they asked me if I wanted to breastfeed. It's like I've got a barrier up.

Would you be able to explain next time that you are feeling a bit overwhelmed and that it feels like if you don't ask then you aren't told about things? Maybe fill out the template birth plan and use that as a prompt if they ask you something you aren't expecting? Or even make some notes in advance and refer to them.

I'm finding it so hard to understand my feelings and thoughts atm, everything is just so hard. Maybe if I write it down it will help
And I can refer back to it if needed.

It's just everything.... being sick, not eating well etc.

There might be a mental health midwife/team you can ask to be referred to if you think it might be helpful? I had an appointment with a mental health specialist midwife about some specific issues I was having and it helped a lot.

Also, if you have a partner, maybe they could come along to the next appointment to support you? Or another family member if not?

I don't have anyone. I'm under the care of perintal already.

Ah, sorry I didn't catch the reference. I would definitely go with making some notes and using them to prompt you on what you want to get across. It's probably a good idea to tell them that you're feeling overwhelmed with it all.

Having had two pregnancies and births, things can change rapidly when in labour and at that point any decisions should be clearly explained as to what's happening and why.

I'm just overwhelmed and I don't think anyone can help. I should be having people to help me if I'm having a baby, but I don't.

I'm sorry for your situation, I really feel for you feeling the way that you do.

I wonder if you might be able to consider hiring a doula for the birth itself? Sometimes a student doula can be cheaper than an experienced one. They really just act as a support and an advocate during the birth, and stay with you the whole time. Some will also visit a couple of time post birth and advise on breastfeeding and so on.

Doula UK have an access fund that you can be referred to by your midwife/perinatal HCP. https://doula.org.uk/doula-access-fund/

No I don't really want to spend the money and I'm too low to consider forming a relationship with someone. I just want a c section to be honest. It's easier in that there are no difficulties and it's a set date. Doctors do their thing.

I’m sorry you’re finding it tough.

Do do do talk to your midwife, but if you’d like a c section that’s a perfectly valid option (and you’re allowed one), don’t see it as a cop out.

I dont see my midwife..... they will just send me to perintal.

I can't see how a c section isn't the best option.

A C-section might be tricky if you’re looking after your baby alone as you’ll be recovering from surgery so will have to be careful with lifting and moving. You’ll manage though if that’s what happens.

Writing things down is a great idea.

I'll be staying at my parents.