Advice needed!!

[Laurralice]

So my little sister (20) just found out she is pregnant, I know I should be over the moon for her and to be an auntie however the situation all round is making it hard to be!

Background, me and my partner have been trying for two years and currently going through tests to get to if we ultimately need ivf. Only 4 months back I also unfortunately had a miscarriage which I've carried emotionally ever since.

My sister however is in less of an ideal situation and have ummed and arred about keeping it. She knows she will need support and finding a place to live as the dad does not what to be in their lives.

The help I need is how do I get past these emotions I'm feeling? I feel like breaking down each second of the day for the fact that it's not me, mine won't be the first grandchild for my mother and that me and my partner have tried so hard but seem to be getting nowhere. Has anyone else experienced this?

I haven't been in your shoes exactly but didn't want to read and run. I think you're allowed to have these feelings. You're only human and you have been through a lot and you're still grieving which isn't straightforward. There's no one right way to do that.

I think it would be hard to be happy for someone having a pregnancy they aren't sure they want or are going to keep because you take your lead from them most of the time in how you react to their news. It's ok if you can't be there for your sister just now and if you need a bit of space from this particular conversation but I do think you'd need to let her know the reason why if she doesn't already. I think you get yourself some support and a place where you can process this because it's a lot. Could be counselling, a support group or something therapeutic like art or being in nature or running or something that's a good release without the need to talk if you don't feel ready for that yet.

I agree with the other post, I think the way you are feeling is normal. When I had a MMC earlier in the year I found it difficult being around a close friend who was also pregnant. Whenever I saw a baby or a pregnant woman, I felt such sadness and anger inside. I think you should be honest with your sister about how you are feeling as if her pregnancy progresses, it will probably be hard for you for a while. And that’s totally normal.

Advice needed:

So I've recently been seeing someone new approximately 4 months and he has a child already, an adorable four year old. He's expressed wanting no more and such to me.

The dilemma is I was told I wouldn't be able to get pregnant after me and me ex fiance had been trying for a couple of years and going through the start of ivf but ultimately caused too much stress and ended things. So with this new guy it was no stress, just taking it easy. After having extreme acid this morning I decided to test and it's now saying I'm 2-3 weeks.

Any advice on how to tell him???

@Laurralice Be honest as you have been here - tell him you didn’t think you could conceive so it is a shock to you too.

It will work itself out. No one regrets having any of their children.