I found out I am expecting last Friday. I had weird cramps/ spotting 2 days ( date my period was due), I did not give too much importance as sometimes my period is weird. Decided to took a test as day 3, 4 was like no blood at all. Positive. I was in shock, like proper looking at the wall shocked! We stopped trying like 2 years ago, I have one child, whos turning 9 this year, We tried When She was 5, but then Covid hit, so I said F... Nop, few months later I got Hypertension and I was overweight so obvs NOP. Then I decided no more trying ( when I said trying, I mean 3 times a month TOP) we have never been sexual bunnies! Then, I had an opportunity to do a Bariatric surgery to fix my Hypertension which was driving me insane, 16 months after here I am, lost all the weight, finally I am looking like myself, starting to like the way I look now ( totally dif body), enjoying life, travelling, etc. I was getting my CV ready to go back to work again, browsing the market, etc, I was getting excited to going back. and now, BOOM! I was so confused, I stopped my life- when my kid was 3- to be with my family- by choice, supported always by my hubs- my kid needed support, husband change of Job, then a massive move where more support was needed- I am not being mean but I honestly thought, OK, Kid is old enough now, is my time. Yes, We are having the baby, its a miracle we managed to create life by one time sex last month - hheheeh and of course I am 41! I thought that I wanted 2 , but now that it actually happened, I feel like- Sh.. I was not really expecting that. On top of all of that, I am freaking out that the baby is healthy, and thinking that all my bloody weight will come back after the hard work I did. Am I being selfish?