19 weeks negative thoughts

[Strawberry06]

I'm really struggling and wondering if anyone has any advice. I'm 19 weeks tomorrow and just struggling to believe everything is ok with baby. I don't have any pain or bleeding etc or any reason to believe it isn't but its just the way I am. I go to sleep and think the way I've slept might have harmed baby, I go over a bump in the road and think I might have harmed baby. Its awful!

I had a scan last week - all good. I've heard heartbeat two weeks in a row - nice and strong. My midwife is great and says I can go every week to hear heartbeat up until my 20 week scan if I want to but I didn't go today cause I just feel like a bit of a mad women! The scan is two weeks today and even then I can't shake the feeling that something will be wrong.

It doesn't help that tomorrow would have been my due date from my first loss and I just wish I knew that this baby was ok, even though they probably are I'm just so anxious and paranoid.

I haven't felt baby move yet but I have an anterior placenta.

First of all, don't feel like a mad woman! It's so common for women to have anxiety in relation their baby when pregnant.

Take up your midwife's offer of listening in to the heartbeat each week, they are happy to do it for you- they understand the anxiety. Hopefully, at your 20 week scan you will be told baby is growing healthily and all is looking ok.

Once you start feeling movements that can be reassuring but sometimes initially they are a bit sporadic as baby is still very small and the anterior placenta can muffle them slightly- I had this when pregnant with DD2. Once into the 3rd trimester there was no mistaking the movements.

The main thing to try and hold on to is that the majority of pregnancies end in a healthy baby and until you are told any different (not saying you will be), try and think positive. The other thing is that loss or abnormalities with baby are more often than not out of your control and are not down to anything you have done or not done.

I know all this is easier said than done after loss, my second pregnancy was a MMC picked up at my 12 week scan. During my third pregnancy where I had DD2, I was sick with worry the whole time until she was born. I was convinced at my 12 week scan they were going to tell me there was no heartbeat again, the same at my 20 week- or that there was going to be a major abnormality. She was born at 41+2 perfectly healthy.

It might be worth speaking to your GP for a referral to a counselling service to talk your anxieties through with someone, and your past experiences. Your referral should go through as urgent as you are pregnant. I did this in the end and it did help to talk it all through with someone and they helped me separate the two experiences.

All the best to you ❤️

Hi @Strawberry06
Totally hear you hun, honestly the negative thoughts are normal xx
I'm the same, every appt, scan, test, i'm always on edge. I try and distract myself with cooking, it really helps, god i never thought i'd say that! Your midwife is so lovely, it's good to have people like that around. Stay positive hun, i will try to aswell xx ❤