Plus Size/Obese and pregnant

[KsMumma]

Being big and pregnant comes with additional risks and issues both physically and mentally.

I thought I would start a thread where us bigger girls can talk openly about what we are going through and share advice and support.

I had a notification there were new replies on this post, and thought I’d share the news that unfortunately I didn’t get the healthy baby I so wanted. My BMI was 34.1 on booking in. I had a great first trimester, two lovely private scans at 9 and 11 weeks, but at the 12 week scan we got the dreaded ‘baby’s NT measurement is high’.

After another 2 weeks, we found out it was highly likely baby had Edwards’ Syndrome, it was very poorly and unlikely to survive to full term. I can’t tell you how heartbroken I’ve been. I was induced and baby was delivered on my husband’s 40th birthday. I’ve cried every day since. 18 months TTC, I’m so so scared we won’t get another chance.

Everyone knows it’s a risk, they want a healthy baby, and I totally appreciate the anxiety around being treated differently because of a higher BMI. Now on the other side of not having a healthy baby, I’d take any extra scan offered if it helped me bring a healthy bubba home 🩷

Hi all. I'm 14 weeks with baby number 2. My son is nearly 5. Bmi 39.4 at booking. Think it was 34 last pregnancy.

Was told at booking to consider putting a home birth plan in regardless because my first was quick.

Consultant led although I've just been told I'll get a list of appointments through, nothing yet. Growth scans also but again don't know when that will be.

@MrsScotland Im so sorry to hear your news, I can’t imagine how awful it must’ve been for you. Sending love x

@mrsed1987 I would chase your midwife to find out. My BMI was 40.1 at booking sir referred to a consultant and got appointment sent through within a week. I’m now approx 15 weeks (dating scan unclear due to baby position) and my first appointment is Monday but BMI has gone down to 37.7 due to first trimester nausea & food aversion so will be interesting to see what they say

I've read lots of threads where people aren't having consultant appointments till 28+ weeks so I'm not particularly concerned. I think all trusts do things a bit differently.

I messaged my midwife a few weeks ago and she didn't reply so I wouldn't hold out much hope of her replying. If I haven't heard anything by my next appointment then I'll ask then.

@mrsed1987 thats true r.e. Different areas. Unfortunately my NHS trust has been one of those that was in the news over maternity scandals & they fairly recently had a case which went to court & inquiry over treatment of a plus size mother and baby so I think they are being extra diligent

Better to be extra diligent though.

Can't help but feel a bit put out by my midwife not replying. It wasn't anything major but she recorded my weight wrong on my notes (someone else weighed me and wrote it on a post it) it was 112.8kg but she has recorded 128kg which moved my bmi from 39.8 to 45 which is quite a big increase. I don't know if it will make much of a difference or not but for her not to even reply to say we would chat about it at my next appointment is a bit rubbish.

Then again, my first pregnancy 5 years ago I didn't see she same midwife more than once..

@mrsed1987 that is a bit rubbish - is there a community midwife inbox you could mail?

Im in the same boat age gap wise, my little boy is 4 so was last pregnant 4.5-5 years ago and seem to have forgotten everything! Where I lived before I never saw the same midwife twice but been told it’s different here as there are only 2 community midwives covering my area

Not in the Uk but hoping I can join.

I was size 14/16 pre pregnancy (not huge IMO) but I have always weighed more then I look despite being short.

BMI 36.9.

Now 22 weeks but have only put in 2.5kg.

I'm sick of the midwife trying to push me to a dietian. I've refused twice and said I am actually eat well , 3 healthy meals per day so unless I go in a full diet , not sure what else they could advice me!

All my bloods have come back really positive and I passed an early GD test at 18 weeks with flying colours.

They have now said they don't want to see anymore weight gain the rest of my pregnancy!!! How am I suppose to manage that!

@Mangotango39 i recommend this insta account for info on this advice you were given

https://www.instagram.com/p/CyU_8QWJYvS/?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA==

In case anyone needs the 5mg Folic Acid NHS evidence to show doctor/midwife when you see them for prescription, it is on the NHS website:

"Your doctor may advise you to take a higher dose of folic acid (usually 5 mg) if you have a higher chance of having a baby with a neural tube defect (a problem with the brain and/or spine, such as spina bifida).
Your chance of having a baby with a neural tube defect may be higher if:

• you have previously had a pregnancy affected by a neural tube defect
• you or the baby's biological father have a neural tube defect
• you or the baby's biological father have a family history of neural tube defects
• you have diabetes
• you're very overweight
• you have sickle cell disease
• you're taking certain epilepsy medicines
• you're taking antiretroviral medicines for HIV"

https://www.nhs.uk/medicines/folic-acid/pregnancy-breastfeeding-and-fertility-while-taking-folic-acid/

@missgoddess thanks for sharing - I was really upset that day. I think I look well. I feel well. My pregnancy issues have been non weight related. So it was so disheartening!

@mrsed1987 I'm 28 weeks today and at booking my BMI was 39. They put my referral in at the booking appointment for the consultant and I got the letter pretty quickly for my first appointment but it isn't until this week anyway. I'm also having my first growth scan the same day but had it not been for needing to have my 20 week scan done twice and having at the hospital where the consultant is based I would never have known about the growth scan appointment as I had no notification!

It can be really frustrating getting hold of anyone. If I need my midwife I have to either ring the hub and leave a message or ring my Dr's surgery on the day she's based there and ask them to send a message. Then wait to see if she replies to either, which as of yet I have had no call back when truing either method!

@Mangotango39 I'm sorry you have to experience this patronizing and unjust expectations from your midwife. I hope you can gather the necessary strength to stand your ground.
I sometimes feel, regarding the medical profession, that there's an a priori mistrust in the patients' capacity to know themselves and in their ability to process information and discern what's the situation and the best option. That's the reason, I believe, they feel the need to amp up their communication style by being overly frightening or even threatening.
It's VERY frustrating, nevertheless.

For my part, lately I've been feeling somewhat anxious and have had intrusive thoughts about my weight. I don't want to get obsessed with it but I currently weight 107 kg (38 bmi): AIBU to want to loose weight this first trimester? Is it my anxiety, making up ghosts for me? I'm afraid it may be...
I guess until I have my first ultrasound next week, I'll be in this anxious state and anxiety always makes me fixate in "something to fix", if you know what I mean. It seems I can't let myself enjoy the moment, and must find the current error to try to fix... Any advise?

@Mangotango39 I completely understand where you are coming from r.e. Wanting to lose weight.

I unintentionally lost 8kg in the first trimester (nausea, lack of wine, making more conscious choices about what to eat when I could I.e. upping veggies and making more of an effort to be active when I could). I had an appointment with the consultant on Monday and when I spoke to them about wether the weight loss was ok and she made me feel awful & just kept repeating I shouldn’t try and lose weight.

Luckily I had the midwife yesterday and spoke to them who reassured me. She basically said I shouldn’t try and lose weight but if I am losing weight through eating a well balanced diet and light activity and am not getting light headed or purposefully allowing myself to feel hungry all will be ok.

What helps me is I’m trying not to think of it from a weight perspective and instead think of it as making sure baby is getting a balanced diet and gently upping my fitness (walking & swimming when I get chance) to prepare for labour - if I lose weight so be it but it’s not the goal.

As a nurse I hate it when other health care professionals are rude in this way. That is absolutely not true, just because you are bigger does not mean that it is necessarily hard for you to be cannulated. It varies from person to person anyway. Some super skinny people are really hard to do, and some larger people can be easy. Don't let that comment ever worry you if you should ever need one.

Firstly doesn't come with risks - please read and check out Midwife, researcher and author Sarah Wickhma. Fantastic.

My BMi is 33 this pregnancy and I have 0 complications with myself or baby. And none with previous baby. Currently 37weeks and all is good.
If your have pre existing issues it can be worsened in pregnancy of course.

I remained active in both pregnancies and postpartum. Labour was smooth and natural and had DS1 in 9 hours. No tears or complications. Despite being told I woupd have BIG babies DS was 6lbs. Textbooks ate not gold standard we are not text books.

So strange in the UK, well where I am the Midwives don't weigh you. At my 37week apt with my modwofe she said the data is not useful and we dont measure as it has no affect on outcomes how much you gain.

i was near 30 stone when I fell pregnant. I had a difficult sex life due to the weight but it happened and I carried my daughter with no problems at all. She just made my huge tummy a bit tighter! Already had large boobs too. Yes I got the usual talks about weight but I always was a big girl even as a teen! My daughter is now 27 and chunky too! 💕