Baby on the way and troubles with cat

[40Crazabet2000]

Hi ladies
just looking for some advice and people’s thoughts … please be mindful that I already feel awful having to post this so really don’t need any nasty comments!

I got a cat a year ago now, before I fell pregnant. He’s been the highlight of my life. He is so sweet and I absolutely adore him.

lately I’ve been having some issues… he’s been bringing live pigeons in the house which we’ve had to capture and get out. He’s also been bringing fleas in the house, he is flead with bravecto regularly, but for some reason the fleas aren’t dying on him and instead are getting in the house. We’ve been lucky so far to capture them as we’re brushing him with his flea comb as soon as he comes into the house. I caught some in the kitchen today and had to quickly kill them before they got loose.

the problem is that I’m nearly 9 months pregnant and really can’t afford to be capturing pigeons when baby is here and worse, really don’t want baby exposed to this as they’re so unsanitary.

As welll as this, I really don’t want to be fumigating the house every month or so because of flea infestations. it’s not healthy for baby having to keep up and move to my parents house while the house is fumigated.

I know I sound absolutely horrid but I am thinking of re-homing him.
I do understand it’s not the cats fault, it’s their natural instinct to hunt and also it’s not his fault that he’s bringing fleas into the house. I really am not the type of person to do things like this if anything I hate people that get animals just to give them up, so I’m spending hours each night getting all worked about this while hubby keeps begging me to just re home him for our own sanitary and babies safety.

my instincts while being pregnant have been super heightened and I really don’t feel comfortable having a baby in this environment. I don’t want to br a new mum with a newborn chasing pigeons around the house and having to disinfect every minute. I’ve got the point where I’m spending hours on my hands and knees searching the house and ensuring it’s flea free which is absolutely ridiculous and can’t continue especially not with a newborn. I’ve done my back in so much that I can’t even move today… I have hubby hoovering the house multiple times a day too and we’re not going ti have time to check him with a comb every time he wants to come in when we have a newborn.

I really just need some advice as to whether it’s completely unreasonable to re-home. There’s a lovely farm sanctuary near me that takes animals in and when they’re not rehoused they keep them to live on the farm… I feel like he would be happier as would we, but my guilt is really holding me back ..

Bless you. What a horrible situation to be in, but I completely understand.

I saw what your mum said about keeping him as an indoor cat and it's not true. One of my cats was an outdoor cat for 6 years, until we moved into a property on a busy road. I kept him in for his sake. I think there was maybe 3 weeks of wailing, trying to squeeze through slightly open windows, and sitting by the door - but then that was it. Quite happily accepted his new life as an indoor cat.

As for flea treatments, it could be worth trying a different one. The one you're using might not be suited to him? Idk. I totally sympathise with how much of a pain fleas are though. It feels never ending, and it's costly too!

If you do decide to keep him as an indoor cat, I would flea him, have the house fumigated and then continue to flea him every month as they can be carried in the house on your shoes.

However, if you need to rehome him, then that's what you need to do. No judgement. I don't believe that you're someone who goes through 473829 pets a year because you thought a new kitten would be cute, then couldn't deal with the bedtime zoomies. No one is going to think less of you for doing that.

Best of luck when baby comes.

Hmmm... maybe it's hormonal but your posts sound waaaay OTT.

Your baby isn't going to die if you get the odd flea in the house or your cat brings in a bird!! Millions if people own cats and manage to keep fleas under control. You are a grown adult and can cope too.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but it sounds like you are just coming up with ridiculous excuses to dump the cat. Animal charities are overwhelmed at the moment. You need to take responsibility for your cat.

@MidnightMeltdown she IS being responsible. She's managing fleas as they come and she's regularly ensuring he has flea treatment. She mentioned rehoming - not chucking him out on the street.

I think it's unfair you're telling her she's coming up with "ridiculous reasons". They're genuine concerns regarding the babies wellbeing and health. It's not as if she wants to rehome him because he meows at night time.

If you really think you can't cope, then there is absolutely nothing wrong with responsibly rehoming him. Far better than making an outdoor cat an indoor cat. And if you have an indoor cat you have to have a litter tray. Personally, I wouldn't want a litter tray and a baby. Please ignore any extreme views posted on here.

There's nothing wrong having a litter tray and a baby.

@Cowlover89 "There's nothing wrong having a litter tray and a baby."

No- if you're happy with it. It doesn't look as if the OP would be-or that her cat would be a happy house cat. So responsibly rehoming is the obvious solution.

Just use indorex in your house, it works really well and is effective for a long time. Obviously fleas will still jump onto your cat, flea treatments aren’t a magic forcefield, they require exposure to the treatment to work.

Birds are annoying but not harmful, we used to get pigeons flying into our old flat, we would just turn the light off in whatever room they were in and they would find their way out very quickly.

I think you owe it to your cat to try. Pets aren’t just disposable that can be rehomed unless it’s absolutely necessary. In your situation I’d get a collar and a bell, lock the cat flap so cat has to wait by door to be let in. I wouldn’t treat the home but do a good vacumn and research other flea treatments. We use stronghold on our cat.
we have three cats and three children. The cats were not allowed near a sleeping baby or in that bedroom.

I think maybe in your anxiety at a new arrival you’re focusing on the cat but rehoming charities will have abandoned cats and kittens, cats with owners who have died, cats whose owners have lost their house etc to deal with. The bottom line is you could really try harder here.

my children love the pets we love stroking and feeding them. I used to sit my old cat next to the baby as a distraction whilst trying to get calpol down them. And my cats kept me company during lonelier times on maternity leave. It’s worth trying.

Indorex spray in your house. I make sure to do mine before spring and again before the heating goes on.

Do all carpets (paying particular attention to edges and skirting boards) and soft furnishings.

Your house needs doing every 12 months anyway.

Maybe ask someone else to spray it for you while you stay out for an hour or two. But best to do it before your baby is here. They aren't going to be mobile for a long time anyway.

Even cats with the best flea protection and houses that have been treated you're going to see an occasional live flea. Until the flea bites the cat it won't be poisoned. What the treatments do is prevent infestation/eggs being laid.

A single flea on your cat/floor isn't going to be any sort of issue if the cat and house have been treated. If your cat isn't leaving black 'flea dirt' places then your cat doesn't have fleas.

I think maybe you're getting worked up over a non issue. (Standard pregnancy stuff - we've all done it!) Indorex is amazing stuff so get that sorted and you can relax about it.

I used indorex to treat my house. If I remember, you need to spray it round the whole house and then do a thorough hoover every day for several days. It was hard work doing the intensive hoover each day but we never saw a flea again since.

You won’t necessarily see the fleas if the house is still infected. The problem is they leave behind lots of little eggs that lay dormant and basically hatch when there is a nearby host (your cat/ a human - something warm). This will be why you keep seeing new fleas show up round the place - you need to get rid of every egg. The spray itself won’t actually kill the eggs you see - it’s the hoovering on top that’s essential. The good thing is the spray stops new fleas from settling too.

is this something someone could do while you stay with a friend/family for a few days?

If the current flea treatment isn’t effective then try a different brand.

As for the pigeon problem, agree with the cat flap idea - you could also get a collar with a bell so he doesn’t get to sneak up on the birds. You can get ones with safety catches so they come off if he got caught on anything.

My cat spends whole days out hunting rabbits. I used to deflea him with vet prescribed spot on, but I find that he'll suddenly have an outbreak of fleas all over his ears before his next dose is due.

The only thing I find that works is to keep a flea collar in him. I'm having to change it more regularly than recommended (not ideal I know) but I feel like it's a less expensive and toxic option somehow. It's a luminous yellow one. He's catching less animals since I've been putting it on him too.

We live in a semi rural location and I've never had an issue with fleas like this until moving here. I think it's the hunting a long grass that's doing it.

The hunting does calm down in the winter months.

You will feel better about the cat once baby is here. I think pregnancy sometimes effects how you feel towards pets. Especially if they are causing you extra work.

Also, bell on collars had made my hunting obsessed cats either better hunters (moving without making it jingle) or intent on removing the collar. I remove the bell from my cat's flea collar so he'll keep it on.

Have you tried locking the cat flap so he cannot get in without you seeing him? That way you can check he doesnt have a bird with him.

@ConnieTucker that’s a good suggestion.

OP if you feel like this now, you will feel even worse when baby arrives, if you are anything like I was with my first DS. I think it was hormone driven tbh, I breastfeed but occasionally use a bottle to top up. If I was in the kitchen and was preparing bottles and one of my cats came into the kitchen, I would start the process all over again, I was paranoid about germs etc.

We still kept the cats until they were PTS at around 18 and our dog too, we found a way to make it work. No way could I have rehomed any of them.

But you need to do what’s right for you and your family.

Good luck.

Well, if you’re determined to look for reasons to get rid of your cat, good luck with that.
Have raised 2 extremely healthy children in a house with 9 different cats over the years; occasional fleas, dead birds, mice and all. If you want to do, it you will.

@Roselilly36 Can you tell my
boy cat was a hunter? 😂 But by god he loved the children when they were born. And he followed them around everywhere when they could toddle.

Indorex spray and vacuum. And a different flea treatment for the cat.
If you want him to stop hunting feed him more and feed him a variety of food. That’s how my parents stopped their cat hunting.

Just amusing myself with the idea that Mumsnet is full of posters saying that it's OK not to see your MIL if she stresses you out when you have a new born, but absolutely you have to deal with fleas, dead birds and litter trays no matter how upsetting you find them!

If all you are seeing is a few lethargic fleas that have fallen off your cat, I think the flea treatment is working.

I'm saying lethargic as you've been able to catch and squish them, which suggests they aren't that lively any more.

youre not being encouraged to relocate your mother in law from her home, and all the family she knows.

I re-homed a cat when my baby was tiny. The last straw for me was seeing a flea on my new born baby’s head. As others have said please take it to a rescue rather than advertising on Facebook etc

thanks everyone for you replies and to those who have helped.
I just want to make it clear that I’m not just going to up and Chuck my cat on the side of the road. The whole point of me doing everything I am and getting advice is because I want that to be an absolute last resort.
ive known people who get pets and give them up straight away, do you think they post on mumsnet for advice, no they just get rid because they don’t care.
really do not appreciate all the negative comments and not going to spend anymore time justifying my worries. But thank you to those of you who have commented positive things and been constructive.
im going to give my vets another go and see if they can give anything stronger than Bravecto or possibly different if the fleas have become resistant. I’ll also get some indorex and give the house a treat too and see how that works….

thanks to those of you who understand re the hormones. I didn’t even so much as think about fleas before I was pregnant but t for some reason it feels like a huge issue right now. It’s small to some people but really don’t think you can reason with a pregnant person as to how much of an issue sormthing is!

but thanks again for those who have given kind and constructive advice

Don’t feel guilty about rehoming the cat. People treat animals like people and they’re not. The cat will do fine with someone else and that cat sounds like it’s had a good home with you for the time you’ve had it. Our family dog growing up was a rescue who had been given up due to its family having small kids- it’s hard! My dog really played up with my first born and it was hard going, and I think the animals do suffer a bit as they naturally (and appropriately) come second to the child. I’d sort it out before baby comes so you don’t have the upset of doing it with a newborn.

AHH that old story - I wonder how I made it to adulthood plus how my DD and many other children I know are still alive.

The majority of cats avoid babies and young children because they make too much noise.

Oh and the only nuisance my DP's old cat caused was by mimicking my DD's cries for 2.5 years as she worked out that's how DD got attention. Though DD started talking at 5 months and attempted to talk to the cat first.

I am merely repeating what she told me - I had no reason to doubt her. We'd been talking about pets, and I asked whether she'd had any as a child. She said that they didn't have any because her mother had been given a bad shock by a neighbour's cat.
It was very friendly and used to wander into their house and garden. One day her mother had left MIL in her pram in their garden and gone inside. When she returned she found a neighbour's cat curled up on the baby's face.