When to announce pregnancy when you have another child

[Mum7644885]

I’m early days 5+4 and I’m already struggling to hide the fatigue and nausea. I had planned to have a reassurance scan at 8 weeks, then tell my 2 1/2 year old, then rest of close family, but I’m contemplating telling my mum. My partner works shifts and I’m really going to need the help of a weekend when he isn’t here. I’m currently like the walking dead and I feel like my mum must be wondering why. Im happy to just tell my mum and dad for now, we see them the most and they have a good relationship with my daughter but I don’t know what to do about telling my child. She will be so excited by it, she’s already asked if there is a baby in my tummy 😂 no idea why she thinks that, must be psychic, but I’d be worried about telling her and then god forbid something happen, she is only really young but really switched on, what would i say, I don’t know what to do ?

Why would you not tell your parents?

Oh and don’t bother telling your toddler. Don’t give that another thought for the time being!

Do you have a good relationship with your mother though?

I'm of the rule, tell someone close early on - in case, God forbid, you need the extra support if it doesn't go to plan.

In terms if your toddler, I'd wait until after 12 weeks.

Remember that once you’ve told your toddler you’ve essentially told the world, you can’t expect them not to tell other people! I personally wouldn’t tell children til much much later - how will you explain should the worst happen (sorry). I’m pregnant and not planning to tell my daughter til maybe 20 weeks or so - so I can tell her it’s a brother or a sister at the same time.

I would say tell anyone you’d be telling should you have a miscarriage. I keep it private from people I wouldn’t share this with so I don’t have to should this happen. After 12 weeks I think the risk of this is much lower so I will start telling more people then.

Why wouldn't you tell your mum? I told various friends and family at all kinds of different times. If it was before first scan I just caveated it as being early days so might go wrong.

Congratulations!

No way in hell would I tell a small child until at least after the 12 week scan (I've had 2 MCs after seeing a heartbeat at 8 weeks so wouldn't trust doing it then). I'm not telling my niece/nephews until 20 + weeks. Obviously harder to hide from a child who lives with you.

Tell your parents if they'll be helpful and you can be confident they won't tell your child.

Ps - the day after my mum told me she was pregnant with my youngest sibling I went into school and told everyone.

Good points by all, particularly on the toddler front.

On the question re: my mum, I have a very good relationship with her, I told her very early on with my first and I think she was worried for me (not in a horrible negative way) just because I know she had quite a few MC.

I think I will tell my parents early (I need their support) wait it out with my toddler until later on and tell others like sister etc once my daughter knows.

It’s also so true that the minute i tell my daughter, the whole world would know haha

Told my toddler around 12 weeks as didn’t want him hearing from someone else. Tbh I’d do even later if we could. It’s quite a long time from telling them to it actually happening!

I'd tell you mum, but I can't see why you'd tell your toddler until you are really showing. They may not get it, but if they do, it may be upsetting if you have a loss, equally they might ask all the time when the baby is coming which might get annoying...

And I told parents and several friends when I was about 8-9 weeks and then had a loss, I am pleased I had told them as it made it easier to tell them about the loss, and I really appreciated their support. The whole 12 week thing is a bit bizarre to me.

I would tell close family if I had a loss, but in the first instance I would look for support from my mum.

To be honest, I didn’t give much thought to it all first time round, second time I feel I’m a bit more reserved about it all