Hyperovulation

[user5566]

hello everyone

I am looking to conceive a baby. Unfortunately, as I plan to leave my job due to us moving house out of the area, I really am on a tight time line and this is the last month I can conceive and receive maternity cover (after that I wont receive it because I'll need to move away from a commutable distance)

I just had a scan to check I am on track to ovulate and I have 6 follicles. 3 on each ovary. The doctor advised that I need to wait until Monday but if they all look like they will develop, then I need to abstain and not try this month. I am devastated as this really was the last month. I have tried and tried, and each time either nothing happens, or I get pregnant and lose the baby to a chemical. I did take some injection this month to stimulate ovulation but the doctor said she is very surprised to see how many eggs i have produced.

Has anyone else had this? Any advice on what I can do?

Are you in the UK OP? If you are there's nothing you can do to manipulate your due date because the official date which is used to calculate maternity leave etc is decided by the sonographer at the 12 week scan depending on the babies size at that point, and that's pretty much outside of your control.

Not that I'd advocate lying, but the other option is to take sick leave prior to your maternity leave (say if you were to develop PGP for example) in the month or two before your maternity leave that would mean you either have to WFH or go onto sick leave. If that happens you have to start your maternity early (4 weeks before due date).

Thank you, I was already thinking of starting 11 weeks before my due date to get the benefit so I am already chasing time.I read you are legally allowed to start 11 weeks before so I thought I'd start the. And use all
My holiday as well to then be 2 weeks off
I was wondering if I said I had shorter cycles or something or could buy me a week. But it's looking unlikely

Thing is yesterday at the ultrasound the doctor said she strongly advises I don't try. Because at least 3 follicles are growing. So high chance of triplets although they still are not mature so also a chance that my body is just putting all the hormones to creating multiple follicles instead of one strong large follicle. I have a last scan tomorrow but she said otherwise it's probably not going to have changed and as I already have 2 kids I just not dtd with OH, what do you guys think? She said oh reflection the gonaf injection I had wasn't a good
Idea or not needed. I am fertile, and just the pills are helpful, from day 2. Nothing else is required. What fo you guys think? What would you
Do ?

If I were you OP I would wait as fertilisation would only take place when the follicle matures and gets released. So by doing it too early you might risk more than one follicle maturing and being released however conception still won’t take place until the egg is ready. Also there is a chance that fertilisation might not happen but having successful previous pregnancies I’m sure that won’t be the case! Wishing you the best of luck with whatever decision you make.

It's a personal decision as to whether you DTD anyway. Personally I wouldn't but all of our situations are different, to help you make a choice maybe ask yourself:

Could you cope physically and financially with triplets, especially if they needed extra care?
For triplet pregnancies you take a huge risk that you need a selective reduction to make it a twin/singleton pregnancy to improve the odds of a successful pregnancy - would you be prepared to do that if it was required?

How quickly would you be able to find a new job in your new area and qualify for maternity leave, is it possible to wait that long or are you reaching an age limit where you really do need to concieve now?

Thank you so much everyone and such insightful questions.
Basically: no I don't want triplets. Absolutely not. I really don't want twins.
I just wasn't sure what the chances are... that perhaps only one would fertilise. Or survive. I have had many chemical pregnantes. or nothign has happened. My prevoius pregnancies were straightforward so I took this for granted. The lady says it looks like im v fertile, but its just not working. I have already run out of time. but i could try to stretch this one more month. and each month i say this is it, no more trying for age reasons , job, life. but i keep just hoping that it can happen. The doctor said basically she shouldnt have given me the injection as it seemsi didnt need it. now i feel its my fault for pushing it.

@user5566 it's certainly not your fault at all. Obviously with what happened the doctor said they shouldn't have given you the injection, but hindsight is a wonderful thing - and they've had 7+ years of medical training to assess if a situation requires treatment and they decided yours did. Believe me nothing really you say will persuade a doctor to prescribe something unless they agree it will help you.

Wishing you all the best for the future though, hope it does happen for you!

Hi everyone last chance saloon here and I'm nervous that I've left it too late

Thinking up
All sorts of options
Could I
Take all my holiday at once (manager discretion I guess?)
Then go straight onto mat leave for 11 weeks before my due date ?
Could I try to get my due date brought sooner with c section (I will need anyway for medical reason) but 1 week

Do I ask work, if I can stay remote until may when my Oh contract runs out, running the risk that they say no, I have to leave, and then I don't get any maternity pay?
Or I ask them if I can work remote for longer until my maternity leave in exchange for taking a shorter maternity leave and returning to work remotely ?
Any gems of wisdom would be appreciated

Ive just caught up on the thread...

Im not sure I understand this... politely, fixation, as I havent done IVF, however it has taken me 18 months to conceive after last late miscarriage, so I do understand having to be patient.

If you get a new job, its only a small amount of months to become eligible again for maternity leave, its really not a long window of time to just wait for the right time, especially in light of already having two children? What is the urgency here?

Can you not get a new job now so that you arent waiting until your partners contract to expire?

Asking to get an early caesarean for maternity pay is nuts OP. You cant possibly think that is a viable option, because its certainly not in the best interest of the baby to be torn out early for money.

OP perhaps it would help us to understand a bit more about your current maternity pay policy. How much more are they offering you than the stuatory minimum? Also, if you plan to take your maternity pay and then quit your job, have you checked that your work doesn't have any kind of clawback anyway? Lots of jobs that offer enhanced mat pay only do so if you come back to work for a minimum period (3, maybe 6 months) following your leave. If your work has this, you might as well get a new job in your new location, you'd qualify for at least stuatory pay regardless.

I do think if you were pregnant you could ask to extend your WFH; particularly if you were having a tricky pregnancy that meant commuting was a challenge.

Also, in terms of your relocation what are we talking here? Are you moving abroad? How long would the commute be from your new home to your office when it reopens? I'm just wondering if it's possible perhaps just to do it for a couple of months to get you over the line to your maternity leave. Is it possible/finanically viable for you to travel to work on Monday morning, stay 3 nights in a travellodge, come home Thursday night and negotiate WFH on Friday for example?

We are moving abroad
It's a messy situation and I don't want to wait as I've already waited so long and I'm getting older
It's a very unusual situation I know

does anyone have any thoughts on this?

If you are that keen, does maternity pay really matter? It's not like it's a huge amount anyway. If you want to do it, just do it, but I'm a bit uncomfortable with this trying to play the system malarkey.

Have you told your employer that you're relocating abroad? I can see that basically there's no way between now and the new year to qualify for maternity leave, but if they don't know your moving why not be honest with them about that and work out now if it'll be possible to continue working for them remotely from your new location. If you've been able to do your job effectively while the office has been closed, they might be keen to keep you rather than having to find and train someone else. Then you could keep working as per usual and claim maternity as and when you are eligible as usual. Obviously they might say you have to go into the office to continue your employment but if that's the case and the move is non negotiable with your partner's job then sounds like you've not got a lot to lose by asking.

If you do end up moving, and not keeping your current job you should be eligible for maternity allowance from the government, assuming up until now you have been paying UK taxes, and have moved to somewhere in Europe.

its enhanced maternity pay- i took the job originally over another job because of the enhanced package being able to help us pay for the baby
it then took such a long time for us to get pregnant, my oh got the new job, we moved but i didnt want to risk losing the package. i agree, its not good to play the system. on the other hand, i work for a really big public company and work round the clock for them. so i dont feel too concerned for them supporting me for 6 months

But as others have said, isn't there a claw back period with the enhanced leave anyway so that if you can't carry on working for them after your leave you'd lose the extra money anyway?