Stress and pregnancy

[Shrillwaffle]

Hi, I’m completely overwhelmed and stressed over things happening in my personal life and also ptsd with this pregnancy. I lost my baby last year at 23+5 I’m now pregnant again I’m 17 weeks I’m convinced something has all-ready happened to them or is going to happen and I’m worried the amount of stress I’m under will cause my baby to die. I really need some help and advice :(

Give your midwife a call and tell them you need some mental health support. I'm sorry you're going through this but there are better days ahead

Really sorry to hear of your loss 💐

Have you been offered a referral to the perinatal mental health team? I’d be really shocked if not. This is exactly what they need to be helping you with.

Yeah I had to get on at them a bit to get the help I was promised but I had an assessment last week we’re they said about ptsd and now I’m just waiting for a response but I feel as tho there’s no time to waste when it comes to pregnancy :/

Oh op I'm so sorry that happened to you.

I can't even imagine how worrying it Must feel but please reach out for help. Your midwife will be able to offer you support.

Do you have a support network? A partner, family, friends etc?xx

Did you want to talk about what's causing you stress? Maybe someone could offer some solutions?xx

If you're struggling to get the help needed fast there's plenty of us to talk to if that's what you need, sure any one of us would gladly chat to you maybe you need to be distracted xx

thankyou for all your comments! just feeling very alone even tho I’m not alone. I have a great husband and parents but I just feel like no one understands what I’m going through at all. I have very vivid dreams and I dreamt last night my baby died and it was my fault and that hasn’t helped today. It’s not the first time either. I just feel like any other stress is completely 🤯 especially when it’s cause by someone else

@Shrillwaffle to be fair nobody really can understand, unless they've been through it themselves. I had an MMC in may, totally oblivious to the fact my baby had died at 6 weeks and didn't find out until the 12 week scan. I'm now 5 weeks again and I dreamt lastnight it was ectopic.... Its extremely hard to deal with, but most of us have been through it too so we're always here as an ear to understand x

I don’t know anyone who’s suffered a loss and is currently pregnant too it’s such mind f 🤯🤯🤯 what happened with me was everything was fine healthy baby strong heartbeat no warning signs what so ever. Felt a stop in movement wasn’t too worried went to get checked and they told us there was no heartbeat it was total and utter shock like getting hit by a bus. There’s no bereavement suite at our hospital it’s all together so I had to give birth on the labour ward constantly surrounded by babies pregnant mothers everything it was emotional trauma it’s all I can explain it as 😢 today actually is 1 yr since her due date she would have been 1.

@Kellyaust how are you feeling with your pregnancy? Are you booked to have an early scan?

Oh I forgot I didn’t put the cause 🤦🏻‍♀️ minds not here today! They couldn’t find anything wrong apart from she had a hypercoiled cord meaning a very very curled cord and they believe that stopped her blood supply

That is absolutely horrendous 😣 so sorry you had to go through that, also at my epu while I was miscarrying they had me in the same waiting area as pregnant women and right next to the labour ward so when I left I was in the lift down with a happy couple and their newborn. Seems hospitals don't cater for us 😓.

Are you getting more checks and regular scans etc?

I was very positive but now I'm getting the usual twinges and cramps in constantly worried over them. Convincing myself there's something wrong. And yes next week, I'll be 6 weeks, which is when baby stopped growing last time.

All this has made me realise how previous and fragile pregnancy actually is x

@Kellyaust it truly was I went home one night cause I thought if I don’t medically have to be there I’m not being there. I know that they are going to build bereavement suites but how does that help people like us?

I have all my fingers and toes crossed for you. I know someone who had an early miscarriage and they’re pregnant same time as me so you can go on to have a success ask for more scans and tests if you want don’t leave any stone unturned

I feel you with nerves before scans. Lying on the bed waiting to see/hear something truly takes me back to that day it’s horrible the relief is overwhelming though and you’ll feel so much better

I was promised extra support but I don’t feel I’ve really had it :/ at my 16 week appt (which i hadn’t been told when it was 🙄) they said they’d give me a reassurance scan before my 20 week but I haven’t heard anything yet :/ and I had to push and get them to refer me to perinatal three times

@Shrillwaffle you know what the epu couldn't have done more, but the midwives and GP's I really don't think they have the care they should. If I hadn't of had such a good nurse I wouldn't be getting anything extra now.... When I rang to book my first midwife appt she was shocked when I said epu were seeing me at 6 weeks!! And they haven't got my booking appt in til I'm 9 weeks... No extra care nothing from the midwives. It's disgusting. And I'm high risk I'm 38...fairly fit but I suffer with chronic hypertension which I take meds for and I have endometriosis and 1 blocked tube. Also I have ptsd from a past relationship. The fact we have to beg for help is so so wrong!!! But they'd be quick enough to come and check the welfare of our kids if we broke down....

I really hope everything goes well for you, my inbox is always open should you need to chat x