_I could be pregnant and these are my anxieties and worries, please help and advise._

[Gracieann21]

I could be pregnant and these are my anxieties and worries, please help and advise.

Hi all, I can't believe I've got to the point of needing this, but anyway here I go, me and my partner think I may be pregnant and he's so caring and so supportive of me potentially being a mother, but my worry is my parents my mum and my dad but also my grandparents.

I'm so worried that if I am and if I tell them that I am that they will try to make me get rid of the baby, try to make me get an abortion, I had a miscarriage march 2022 and I can't even think of putting myself through an abortion, If I do turn out to be positive for being pregnant I would want to keep my baby and raise it, not get it aborted or anything like that, my anxiety is majorly high I keep thinking what will they say, and that they'll all want me to abort the baby and I keep thinking they'll try persuade me into it (an abortion) or that they'll disown me.

They have never really liked my partner due to personal reasons from the past but the past is the past as I see it and I seriously and utterly don't find it fair they keep holding the past on him, he's a new man and the man I love with everything in me, I'm terrified of telling them if I am I feel they'll say "oh your not fit to be a mum" or "oh you have too much of your own issues to be able to look after a child" or "oh your not in the right place to be having a child" or "oh it's not the right time".

I just don't know what to do😭😭😭we want a baby but that's my anxiety issue, if anyone could give advice or help I'm much appreciate it.

May I ask why your family have such a hold on you? Age/health issues/behaviour from the past/they try to control you? Etc
If you feel ready for a child, then that's your choice made. When they start with comments grey rock them:- I'm happy with my choice, thank you for the concern. And repeat as many times as necessary!
Is there anything in particular that is giving you anxiety about this? I mean anything you want to discuss?

Also- take a test! It's always more worrying when you don't know what you are working with
There are cheapie tests on amazon that do the job absolutely fine.

How old are you? Do you live with your parents or do you have your own place?

My advice is take a test.

Test first. Then figure the rest out.
What issues do they have with your partner and how far in the past were they?
Are you working and independent or living at home?

I don't know there just really family people my family are, I have things such as adhd, anxiety, depression etc the sugar-coat and baby me, my mum has always been so so holding of me and same with my grandparents and dad, the anxiety well I have 4 anxiety disorders so I'm anxious with everything but I don't want to loose them or them to hate me, and I do worry alot about my family and their opinions. It's the whole situation of how persuading they can get and the fact I don't want to fall into the trap thats why I want to do it in a group chat, I can't test for two weeks yet so that we know it's for certain. Your really helpful and I really appreciate you, please keep talking.

I am 21 my partner is 22 but 23 in October and I live in a supported living accommodation where don't allow you to have babies etc so I'd be having to leave at 7 months either by being helped into a mother and baby unit or move in to live with my partner.

I will in 2 weeks as it wouldn't show up with accurate results yet so I need to wait 2 weeks for the accurate result to show

Do you know what day of your cycle you're on? Some tests work 10 days after ovulation.

Why can’t you test?
I can understand your parents worrying if having a baby would see you homeless and if you already have health issues to deal with.
You haven’t said why they don’t like your partner.

So you've just had sex then?

If you had unprotected sex in the last 48 hours and your period is due in 2 weeks' time then you can still get the morning after pill tomorrow. This is not an abortion, it basically prevents you from ovulating.

Then get yourself to the GP and get on reliable contraception. You can't be having babies while living in supported accommodation. You need to get a job, and your own house, before thinking about babies.

Yes however I can't tell for 2 weeks to make sure I get the accurate results, then okay I will but still anxious, I'm not disclosing personal issues on something this worldwide and public, and they were nearly a year in the past now, I am work searching, I live in a supported living accommodation my own 1 person flat but we're not allowed children or babies there so I'd be moved into a mother n baby unit or told to move in with my fiancé at 7 months

No I don't because, I have not had periods since I was 16 as I was on the depo contraceptive injection till months ago now maybe a few month back

I told you I am not disclosing personal reasons why they don't like him on something this world wide and public

Have you posted about your parents and your partner before. @Gracieann21 ?

What makes both you AND your partner think you are pregnant?

If you can’t test for another 2 weeks then I’m guessing you are around the time of ovulation now. That would mean you are not pregnant. I understand your anxiety is likely affecting these thoughts but all of this is a moot point at this stage as you are currently not pregnant. Are you on another form of contraception? Might be worth getting some sorted if you are not

@TheBeesKnee

You do not need to own your home before thinking about children...

You certainly do - renting or buying, doesn't matter, but you can't be having a baby and effectively becoming homeless!

Well first of all you need to test because no point getting stressed over pregnancy when you don't even know if you're or not.

You don't own any loyalties to a home blood or not.

Honestly sounds like you’ve not long had unprotected sex. You need to be on birth control until you’re in a position to be a parent. You don’t sound as if you are right now. And I’m guessing your family have good reason to object to your partner. If they did something a year ago that’s not actually all that long. You need to be in a good place mentally, emotionally and practically before you start TTC.

You sound very young and I can see why your parents are concerned about you having a baby. You need to think about what's beat for any child you have, not your wants 21 is very young, you have plenty of time to be a mother.

@TheBeesKnee ah okay, I must have misunderstood. I thought you need to OWN your home. I was going to say I rent and my family is very secure thanks 😆

Yeah I can see reading back how it could come across like that!