Pregnancy after MMC how to cope?

[Kirstylvsya]

How do you cope with the constant anxiety that things are going to go wrong?

I lost my last pregnancy 6 years ago finding out at 16 week midwife appointment, 12 week scan was at 13 weeks so baby died between that and 16 weeks.

I'm currently 14 weeks pregnant and because it's around the same time I am loosing my mind. The anxiety is taking over, I don't even want to leave the house at times.

Is there anyway I can help myself?

Last time was a clomid pregnancy and I was quite unhealthy. This time I was 100% healthy before falling pregnant, natural pregnancy, that should help me but I'm worrying over everything, not eating well because of nausea, needed antibiotics for an ear infection, now have gestational diabeties. Etc.

In a similar situation. I've had some private counselling since previous loss, which has helped me, I would recommend if you are financially able to. Otherwise, what's helped me is remembering that the vast majority of miscarriage are genetic issue with the baby, and not caused by anything you have done. Do remember no one is "100% healthy" and plenty of people who are very healthy have miscarriages (I would put myself in this category). The statistical risk once you're past 12 weeks is very small. Try and focus on what you can control which it sounds like you are - diet, exercise if you feel like it, sleep, mindfulness.

@Peony654 yes that would maybe help me, ill look into it. i have hardly spoke about it, blocked it out since it happened and its only now that I'm pregnant again that its in my head, almost like PTSD.

strangely i sleep fine but if i could i would sleep all day to stop the bad thoughts.

I don't have much advise but just wanted to say you aren't alone. I had a MMC in January, found out at 13+2 that baby had died at 10+6. I actually had a really positive scan with strong heartbeat 10+5 so not even a scan will reassure me, knowing things can change in only one day!

I've noticed I'm not so emotionally attached to this pregnancy, I'm about 7 weeks and almost forget I'm pregnant sometimes. I'm hoping for the best but expecting the worst. Had a scan at 6 weeks with a heartbeat but as I said, I know things can change quickly.
I try to take comfort in the fact it is so so unlikely to have a MMC after seeing a heartbeat, after certain weeks etc so for it to happen twice? Surely I can't be that unlucky! I also remind myself 'im pregnant today and I am grateful'

I hope you find strength to get through this and that you birth a healthy baby. Sending you all the best wishes I can xx

Hopping on this one to say I’m in the exact same boat! I’m newly pregnant again (just 4 weeks) and I’m absolutely terrified. I can’t seem to let it sink in that I am?
I was testing constantly but have now stopped as I think it was just making my anxiety worse. Tests were getting darker, doubling in darkness every 24 hours so I made the decision on Sunday night that it’s time to stop. Did anyone else stop testing?

Congrats on being 14 weeks! I’m super hopeful to get there too this time🙏

@Ttcmumma yes that's exactly how I feel, no scan or no heartbeat will reassure me. Things change so fast. X

@LacedBouquet I only done a few tests. Then had a reassurance scan at 8 weeks. Then 12 week scan, but not one thing will reassure me. I need to fix my head more than anything but struggling.

One minute I'm okay. The next I keep thinking "if it happens it happens" awful place to be x

I kept aiming for the next appointment or scan as mini milestones. I relaxed after the 20 week scan and once I could feel movements at around 22/22weeks it helped me with the reassurance. Well that adds a whole new anxiety into the mix but in general it’s reassurance.

Hi. I hope you don’t mind me commenting on here. I had a mmc in July, and at the beginning of this month I found out I’m pregnant again.
Im 6w1d and had a scan yesterday and everything was good and there was also a flickering which was the heartbeat.
I can not stop worrying though. Ive barely any symptoms and my boobs and nipples was tender (not as bad as last time) but now they seem fine. I just keep stressing out and I know I shouldn’t.
how are you all getting on? Xx

@Dani46 hey! You've got this mumma 💪🏻. Remember the statistics are in your favour, most women don't go on to experience another MMC. I'm 15+5 if that gives you any comfort. I had no belief in my body at the beginning but slowly, very slowly, starting to believe this one might end with a healthy baby in my arms x

@Ttcmumma thank you ☺️
Oh I really do hope so! I keep thinking the worst and I can’t keep doing it. Can I ask when your symptoms kicked in?
Im 6w1d and I’ve lost symptoms and that’s a trigger for me. Especially the boob sensitivity.
I wish I could get scans every other day, that would help me but I know it’s not practical x

@Dani46 quite early tbh, probably 4 weeks and then they almost completely vanished at 9 weeks and haven't really returned. All I get now is headaches, tiredness and occasionally almost vomit when brushing but not most days. With my mmc I had the worst symptoms out of all my pregnancies, for the entire pregnancy even after the baby had died. So I know not to bother going off of symptoms now, they don't mean much whether they're there or they vanish!

Yeah I've been the same, I had a scan at epu at 6 weeks, then NHS scan at 12 weeks but dated me ahead by a week. Then 4 days later I had a small bleed so panicked and booked a private scan, all was fine thankfully. So last scan was 13+4 and next private scan is on the 30th so I'm really itching to get to the 30th! No way I could have waited until end of November for my 20 week scan lol x

I’ve heard that and people say that there symptoms was still there even though they had a mmc.
I really do hope that it goes well for me, I just want all the symptoms but I know that means nothing 😂
Thank you also for replying, you have helped me so much today. I am so happy for you too, I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well for you xx

You take one day at a time, focus on the things you can control (including active de-stressing every day) and let go of the things you can't control.

It's difficult! Wishing you all the best

Hi @Dani46, it's a hard place to me in. I had my 12 week scan then one at 14,16 & 18 reassurance ones which helped slightly, and have had my 20 week one, I'm 21 weeks now; the 20 week one is the only one that's really reassured me, now feeling some kicks which helps. I'm still anxious a lot of the time but my only advise is to take each week as it comes xx

Thank you all ☺️
I do hope it goes well. Can I ask @Kirstylvsya did you lose any symptoms? Or when did yours kick in properly?x

@Dani46 yes they come and go. From before day of my test I was so nauseousC fatigue and sore boobs. The sore boobs and fatigue is still here but the nauseous has left thankfully! X

Thank you!
Ive ended up booking a private scan for today, just to ease my mind. Hopefully it all goes well. I honestly haven’t ever been this much of a stress head since I got pregnant again. Xx