Drifting apart from friend

[Bornunderpunches]

I'm currently 31 weeks pregnant with my first child and have felt myself growing apart with my friend of 6 years, when I found out I was pregnant she was quick to tell me I should be getting an abortion and even after my decision on keeping my son she continued to say its not too late to change your mind etc. I kinda brushed it off and put it down to her being naive and i explained to her that getting an abortion is not that easy having been through one in the past, I knew Its something I couldn't do again.

I've not had a very easy pregnancy, HG + a previous rib condition has made the last 6 months really difficult for me, ive had to stop working and been put on bed rest by my doctor. I haven't been socialising alot as a result and my friend keeps calling at random times to come and see me without notice, I keep saying no and she was getting upset saying she barely sees me anymore even though I'm at home all the time.

The other day I agreed to see her as I wasn't feeling too rough. We spoke about her life for a good while then she asks how I am which I'm like oh its just been really hard with how sick I've been, not being able to work etc. to which she said oh remember when I said it wasn't too late to change your mind and laughed which has just really upset me as it just felt like she was saying look your life is really hard now and I told you so. Shes tried calling since and I've just ignored her as I cant get over how she can just say things like that and not think its going to hurt me. I know pregnancy is hard but it doesn't mean it isn't worth it and I've made a mistake going down this route. Just so upset I feel like I can barely relate to her anymore

She's not your friend. I couldn't be friends with someone like that. Get rid. X

Completely understand how you feel! I am 38 weeks pregnant and the first one out of my friends to have a baby.
i have distanced myself from ‘friends’ who make me feel uncomfortable or question my new life.
I feel so much better for it and have realised who my closest friends are!
wishing you luck with the rest of your pregnancy and I hope you’re starting to feel better 🤍

Firstly, you deserve a lot better than this friend. She may have meant it kindly when she very first said about the abortion (you don't say much about your circumstance but perhaps she misguidedly thought it was a helpful suggestion) however once you made it clear that you wanted to continue the pregnancy, she should have understood that and supported your decision. Clearly that hasn't happened.

PPs suggested you get rid, and I do have to say it does sound like this friend isn't really going to stand by you while you negotiate what has been a tricky pregnancy, as well as your new role as a mum which I'm sure will come with it's own challenges.

However, if you do decide you want to continue with this friendship - and it can be hard to lose old friends - I think you need to level with her and tell her calmly how her comments made you feel, and if you want and need her support once the baby comes tell her that. I'm not going to defend her actions, because you are the one who is struggling and in a difficult position and she should be understanding of that, but is it possible shes sort of 'lashing out' because you're pregnant and she's not and she feels like you are about to embark on a new life without her and she's worried about 'losing' you to motherhood and other priorities. Obviously if that is the case her actions are making things ten times worse, but perhaps explaining where you are at right now and that you value her and need her for this next step of your life she'll come round.