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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

When to announce pregnancy to family

19 replies

lmndlily · 27/08/2023 10:13

Hi everyone,

I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant and going through some morning sickness. We've told my MIL about my pregnancy after a private scan at 7+4 because she'd planned a family trip and we had to cancel it.

Now I wanted to tell everyone else after my 12 weeks scan, but my FIL texted saying he wants to visit us soon and also we have another family event involving SIL and family a week from now (which we will be attending for sure). Until now, I've told them I was under the weather or my IBS flared up, but I have run out of excuses!

Would it be a good idea to tell them sooner than 12 weeks?🤔 (They're very understanding and nice people btw).
My stomach is bloated and already looks kinda big, and on some days I feel very queazy so I'm not sure whether I can hide my pregnancy for another month or so.

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BabyD6 · 27/08/2023 10:47

Hey, after we had our scan at 7+3 we told our immediate families (Mums, Dads, brothers and sisters), and I had to tell my friend as I couldn’t go on her hen do this weekend..

I think everyone is different and it’s completely up to when you feel comfortable to tell people. We are waiting until our 12 week scan to tell further family, friends etc and announce it..

We are now 11+3 so hopefully in 2 weeks time everyone will know our good news.

okbluejays · 27/08/2023 10:51

It’s totally up to you when to tell people. I didn’t tell my family until after 12 week scan. My sister in law told us right after her positive test. We both just did what felt right for us.

WandaWonder · 27/08/2023 10:53

We told everyone the second we found out I thought it was fairer that way

Olivia199 · 27/08/2023 11:05

Entirely depends what you're comfortable with. I had IVF and my close family knew throughout the treatment and following the positive test both times. It has been a godsend, even more so in this instance where I've had bad news.

toomuchlaundry · 27/08/2023 11:07

If you tell your in-laws I assume you will tell your side of the family too

Scarletthoping · 27/08/2023 11:10

We told our best friends straight away because I knew we would need their support both in early pregnancy and if anything went wrong. We then waited until we had a scan at 7 weeks plus 4 to tell our parents. I felt like I really needed my mum at that point but that it was unfair just to tell her.

Now we are 10 weeks and quite a lot of people know. We are massive oversharers though. But also I feel strongly that women have been made to feel ashamed of miscarriages and some of the pressure to wait for 12 weeks is a hangover from that.

At the end of the day you have to do what’s best for you though. There is no right or wrong way. Xx

em3392 · 27/08/2023 11:31

We told immediate family and close work friends straight away. As it turns out I've had really bad morning sickness and the support of my work friends has been priceless. Better than suffering in silence.

KatieJ345 · 27/08/2023 12:49

We told our parents at about 8 weeks last time but unfortunately ended in a MC at 13 weeks. This time we are not planning to say anything until about 16 weeks if we get that far.

sashastuck · 27/08/2023 12:56

It’s completely up to you and DP really! What would be the reason for needing an excuse, because you won’t be drinking or?

I did 2 family weddings, one at 10 weeks and one at 11 and didn’t tell anyone. But I had been working on my ‘ahh I don’t really drink anymore’ excuse for months prior so nobody suspected anything. If you’re not ready to tell people then don’t, even if they end up suspecting it I’m sure they wouldn’t say anything. BUT also, the odds are in your favour for a healthy pregnancy, and it might make for a lovely celebration considering you’re going to be around lots of family! X

Summer2424 · 27/08/2023 13:11

Hi @lmndlily
Congratulations on your pregnancy!
I told my family as soon as i found out i was pregnant. I had to tell my workplace too as i needed some time off. Enjoy the day hun, your family will be so happy ❤ xx

Original poster

lmndlily · 27/08/2023 13:28

Hi again everyone,

Thank you all for sharing with me all your experiences, it's very helpful to know that it's okay to announce pregnancy earlier if that feels right for me! I might go ahead and tell my FIL and SIL if that helps me to get through the family meetings 😉 x

@toomuchlaundry I don't have any family of my side in the UK so I'll probably tell them once passed the 12 weeks scan :) I just don't wanna make them worry from the other side of the world!

@em3392 Better than suffering in silence...so true😅 That makes me feel like sharing the news earlier as nessesary actually!

OP posts:

toomuchlaundry · 27/08/2023 13:33

@lmndlily it's your pregnancy, you do what you want to do. There is no rule that you don't tell anyone until 12 weeks. If you feel family will be supportive in the early stages tell them, if you think they will be overbearing then probably best not to! I assume your MIL has been discreet and not told anyone.

Again with things like names etc, you may want to share or keep quiet

Original poster

lmndlily · 27/08/2023 13:39

@sashastuck Well, I don't usually drink so that's not the problem for me. But the thing is that my morning sickness has been acting up and I sometimes feel so sick that I can't sit upright and need to lie down...so I just guess that'd make people worry?🤔

You're so brave to have attended 2 family weddings! Yeah I suppose it's alright even if some family members suspected smth, but I might feel awkward not telling them then😅

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moosey89 · 27/08/2023 14:06

If you're happy to share the news, there's no reason not to. My thing is always to tell people who I'd be ok telling if I had a loss (has happened to me twice, but I'll still tell people before 12 weeks in any future pregnancy as I need the support to get me through it!) x

Strokethefurrywall · 27/08/2023 14:33

There is no rule here, you do what you're comfortable with.

We told immediate family and close friends the day the stick said pregnant.

ASGIRC · 27/08/2023 15:17

The 12 week "rule" came up because that would be the very first scan youd have, where you would know if everything was ok or not, bearing in mind that miscarriages are fairly common in the 1st trimester.

These days, early scans are much more common, and it is unusual (though no impossible) to have a miscarriage after seeing a good heartbeat, after 7/8 weeks.

Anyway, I told my mom pretty much straight away, as well as some friends, who I met up with and wasnt drinking. The after my scan at 7 weeks I told most of the extended family.

I have another scan this week, at 9 weeks, and after that I will be telling even more people.

The "world at large" will probably be told after 12 weeks, and ideally I wouldnt want to tell work before 16 weeks, but well see how that goes!

Welcomer · 27/08/2023 15:43

I told family at 16 weeks. Work at 18 weeks. Whenever you want to tell them is the right time

SnugOchrePombear · 16/11/2024 16:29

We didn't tell our families till i gave birth. We kept it quiet. Our families were shocked but at the same time happy.lol.

lovealways97 · 17/11/2024 01:54

We are waiting to tell them as if I told my Mum now she would be able to keep it a secret for 0.1 seconds and then everyone she knows would know. So it will be in the new year I think after 12 week scan

Which means we are also keeping it from Inlaws even though we know they wouldn't tell anyone

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