So torn!

[ohpoowhatnow]

So long story short I'm pregnant. And currently still breastfeeding baby who is under 1. Due to go back to work very soon and totally unsure of what to do regarding this pregnancy. My heart says have the baby, my head says terminate for reasons such as: work, the difficulty of having 2 under 18 months, the vast majority of all care will fall to me, house isn't big enough, etc. Not sure why I'm posting but looking for words of wisdom ?

I should add, I do want another child at some point.

I would think seriously about this especially if you already know you want another child in the near future. You never know what happens when you try to conceive again and you may not also be prepared for how distressing it will feel to terminate the pregnancy.

I would say that if you want another child at some point. Then this may be that point. Even though it will be tough…

I would go ahead with the pregnancy, 2 kids close in age might work out really well for you.

Also, how would you feel terminating just to plan a pregnancy 6 or 12 months down the line?

Yeah all ready valid points, I think this is what my heart is saying to be honest. It's just going to be really tough but I guess the baby stage will be over in a few years.

Hard I'm sure. I wouldn't recommend terminating a pregnancy that essentially you do want just not right now. In your head it seems like an easy thing to do, but emotionally it might break you if you go through with it.
Tough to have two close together in the early days but great as you move through the stages! Good luck x

@newandconfused5 yeah your right, I think I'm trying to think very pragmatically about it at the moment and not emotionally but if it came to it I'm sure that would change. Thanks for replying x

I wouldn't terminate the pregnancy. Yes it might be hard, but it might not be. And you may totally rock being a mum of 2 under 3!

Agree like pp's say if you plan to have more, now might be your time

@twoandcooplease thank you for your reply, now might be my time yes, although sooner than anticipated. I guess I need to start seeing the positives instead of being scared stiff.

Can you tell us some of your pros and cons @ohpoowhatnow?
Have you tried writing them down side by side to help you weigh up your decision? I'm a list writer for nearly everything

You are in no rush to make such an important decision right now

What was your plan up till now? If you had the chance to choose your future what does it look like?

@twoandcooplease I have listed them mentally but writing them down might be a good idea.

The pros are: babies will grow up closely together, baby years are done quickly as I wouldn't have any more. I do want another baby so family would be complete.

The cons are: my line of work would mean I had to fully retrain after 2 consecutive pregnancies/ maternities which is difficult. The house isn't big enough, husband isn't the best with babies so housework and care would be down to me, money would be tighter.

They are the main points.

Up until now I planned to go back to work for another 18 months or so and then have next and final baby, and start the process of buying a house.

I have a couple of weeks to think about it and make a decision, I'm just so back and forth. X

Some questions to consider in your con list.

A) Size of house - realistically baby 2 would be in your room for as long as is needed. Then 2 toddlers could take up a relatively small space until you are in a position to upsize. You will always find space.

B) Work - how long would you be back at work between the 2 maternity leaves? Would you 100% have to retrain, or just do a refresher course?

C) Husband not being great with babies - this will still be an issue in 2 yrs time if you were thinking of trying to conceive then. Maybe you just need to sit down with him and explain how much work really goes into caring for a baby and keeping a house (and the insanity from lack of sleep)!