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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

For those who didn't find out gender or first baby, did you do the same with second?

19 replies

August21yellowbaby · 22/08/2023 07:30

With my first we kept the gender a surprise until he was born which I absolutely loved! But my partner wants to find out this time but I really enjoyed not knowing the gender, I also couldn't go mad and spend hundreds on pink or blue clothes so I bought minimal neutral clothing which was great.
Did anyone else have a surprise the first time and found out the next? I'm scared of wishing I waited if we found out!

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Businessflake · 22/08/2023 07:32

Nope. We didn’t find out either time. Like you I wanted the surprise but my OH was also happy with that so no debate really.

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/08/2023 07:32

Businessflake · 22/08/2023 07:32

Nope. We didn’t find out either time. Like you I wanted the surprise but my OH was also happy with that so no debate really.

Same here.

HangingStars · 22/08/2023 07:33

Same, we didn’t find out at all, but we both decided we wanted it that way.

sandgrown · 22/08/2023 07:33

I have three children and never wanted to know the sex in advance. I love surprises.

Babyenroute · 22/08/2023 07:35

We haven't had a second yet but didn't find out with my son and I had always been wondering whether it would be nice to tell him whether he was having a brother or an sister. My guess is that we won't find out though as loved having the surprise and like you people not going mad with blue or pink!

biscuitcat · 22/08/2023 07:35

I didn't find out with either, which I loved (husband agreed which made it easier!), but I have friends who had a surprise for their first and found out for their second as they were either feeling less patient or wanted to prepare their first one better.

Thowaway · 22/08/2023 07:42

DC1 was a surprise for a few reasons - I didn’t want to find out, DH was on the fence but then the 20 week scan wound up being during the pandemic and DH wasn’t allowed in and I didn’t want to find out alone, so that settled it. Turned out to be DD.

With DC2 we did find out - long story short but the pregnancy was unplanned and I found out I was pregnant when DD had just turned 1. We found out mostly for practical reasons as we knew cash would be strapped so needed to know what we were doing about clothes etc! Also we wanted to get DD used to the idea of a baby brother or sister and being so young we thought knowing the sex would help. Turned out to be DS!

I have no regrets about how we did it in either case, it was magic finding out both times. Different but equally lovely. With DD it was a lovely surprise after a really hard labour (DH said ‘it’s a girl!’ and I said ‘are you sure?!’ after everyone had spent the pregnancy telling me it was going to be a boy). With DS it was a lovely surprise that I got to share with DH - and again a big surprise, we assumed it was going to be another girl so I remember leaving the scan and both our heads were swimming a bit! I wouldn’t have done it differently.

ChrisPPancake · 22/08/2023 08:01

With dc1 we didn't find out. When he was born (emergency c section) one of the nurses asked if I knew what I was having and I said no. She swung around to me and my first view was of his tackle 😂

With dc2 we weren't going to find out, but at the 20 week scan the sonographer partway through whipped the screen around before asking us if we wanted to know which was a bit of a giveaway!

Remaker · 22/08/2023 08:07

We didn’t find out with either pregnancy. Neither of us wanted to so that was easy. I had 2 c sections so they dropped the drape and held them up so I could see. Lovely memories.

43ontherocksporfavor · 22/08/2023 08:09

2 DC, didn’t find out either time.

ilikeeggs · 22/08/2023 08:11

I didn’t find out with either of mine. I find it more exciting not to know.

Jobsharenightmare · 22/08/2023 08:13

I found out the sex with my first and then had surprises after that because I knew it wouldn't matter after that if that makes sense. I also then loved the surprise element - I figured there are very few surprises left in life that are good when you get to 35+ ! Don't really understand the financial argument as you can dress them exactly the same with a bundle from eBay if you must.

Italianasoitis · 22/08/2023 08:22

Didn't find out with first as everyone told me ut would be a big amazing surprise. I was so out of it after long labour and c section that I couldn't have cared less: I was a broken woman! Anticlimax to say the least!

With the second, we found out and went out for tea and cake right after and I loved texting everyone and really enjoying that moment. It also gave a real lift to the pregnancy around that halfway mark. With baby number 2, I was also completely out of it and have hardly any memories except the sense that I was slipping away (huge blood loss).

There was no question that I would find out with baby number 3. I was actually quite lucid when she was born but she was whisked away to NICU for 24 hours and I didn't get to really see her until the next day, so again was glad I hadn't put any emphasis on having my surprise moment.

Now I just don't see the point in not finding out. To me it's like why drive a manual car if you can have an automatic. However, I know other people have had a magical moment of finding out at birth. For me, the only way I could have had those magical moments was to find out in advance.

Rocknrollstar · 22/08/2023 08:57

We didn’t find out with either pregnancy. We liked the element of surprise but were delighted the second one was a boy as our daughter had been insisting for 9 months that she only wanted a brother!

AuntieMarys · 22/08/2023 09:03

The hospital wouldn't tell us for the first one. I changed hospital for the 2nd so I did know!

pamshortsbrokenbothherlegs · 22/08/2023 09:13

We had a surprise for the first time and I loved that, we both did. However we've discovered were expecting twins this time around and I am considering finding out - I just feel like I've had a huge surprise already and might want more information, especially in regards to preparing our DD for what lies ahead.

However I'm also worried about losing the "magic" of not knowing so interested to hear what any others in this (admittedly quite niche 😆) situation have done.

Pinklilly · 22/08/2023 09:14

We didn’t find out with my first and currently 35 weeks pregnant and we haven’t found out this time either. I really enjoyed the surprise element last time and don’t really think it makes a big difference preparation wise.

mumtotwox · 22/08/2023 09:43

I feel very similar to you @Italianasoitis. Found out both times and I'm so glad we did.

First baby was peak lockdown and we were actually told at our 12 week scan as we were further along. I still remember my partner screaming with joy that it was a boy. A perfect moment.

Second time we wanted to do something with both families at Christmas after a tricky few years so my son and partner hit an exploding golf ball and boom blue everywhere. Everyone was ecstatic and it was a beautiful Boxing Day.

Due our third in February and going to find out again as our 3 year old is adamant it's a girl so want to set expectations sooner and we just can't wait! 😆

crackfoxy · 22/08/2023 10:51

Didn't find out the sex with first but wanted to with second as wanted to be organised etc as first DC still toddler

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