AIBU? Antenatal appointments

[lemonpasta]

I’ve self-referred to a hospital close to my work (st Thomas’, in London) for antenatal appointments so that I can get to and from appointments easily. I work full time and cannot WFH. However because of my home address and catchment area all my appointments are at a clinic in Deptford which sort of defeats the point. I live in Lewisham, but nowhere near Deptford.

AIBU to be frustrated that I cannot get antenatal appointments close to work. It will make things very difficult for me at work to take half days to go for midwife appointments, despite the “legal right” to take time off. I work in a pretty male dominated field and legal rights aside it’s an unfortunate practical reality that I will end up getting treated differently at work if I have to take vast amounts of time off for maternity appointments.

I’m frustrated that my care is being offered based on my home address, as if I don’t have a job or any other priorities now that I’m pregnant. I’m effectively the breadwinner of the family as i out-earn my partner and I can’t afford to jeopardise my job. I cant afford to live in zone 1 or near St Thomas’ to be eligible for better located appointments, and feel very stuck and unsure of the best course of action.

You generally want to be with the same team where you’ll deliver, so that will be why I guess.

Yeah - I’ll be moving in with my mum for delivery who is based close to St Thomas.

Did you tell them that? I guess just use her address then. Good luck!

Could you not say you’re residing at mums ? And you will be within the area for the hospital you want?

That is the reason its protected in law, so eork can't penalise you. In a healthy pregnancy you don't have that many appointments anyway, and you may be able to get them neater the end of the day so you miss less work yabu.

I’d just use your mums address throughout then.

Yeah I did tell them but it didn’t totally seem to register… probably could have self referred using her address but it would have been dishonest.

Redhelen I’m aware it’s protected in law, realistically I would prefer not to be in the position of needing to enforce these rights unless absolutely necessary. The truth is that the more I can reduce the impact of me being pregnant on my work, the better things will be for me. I wish it wasn’t like that but it is! I also like work and really want to find a better way to balance working with being pregnant.

Just tell them you've moved to your mother's address and that you will be there for the duration of your pregnancy and that you'd like your appointments moved.

Thank you!

It simply wouldn't be possible to see everyone based on where they work especially in Central London - think of the number of people who commute!

Agree with romdowa but am pretty surprised you can't just have appointments there - in my area we can definitely make that place. "Normal" hospital or somewhere else. They are absolutely 100% fine with you using somewhere else, just means bloods have to be done a bit differently to be sent to the different lab. But basically I'm given a choice here (maternal right to decide where and how baby is delivered, and also where antenatal care is received). I'm in the UK, just a couple of hours away.

I'd push back on this for sure.

Which appointments have you been asked to attend in Lewisham?
If there are no issues you'll have:
Midwife booking-in 8-11 weeks
Nuchal Translucency Scan 12-14 weeks
Midwife 16 weeks
Anomaly scan 20-22 weeks
Midwife appointment

I'd expect the scans still to be at Tommy's but the Midwife may be local. (I self-referred to Tommy's and my midwife appointments don't take place there). Agree with PP that the easiest thing to do would be to self-refer from your mum's.

Re: work, it's the law so put things in /follow-up in writing and if you have a sniff of adverse treatment keep notes. Tell/remind your boss that you're the breadwinner and your career is important to you and you appreciate his support in making sure that's not affected. Is it a public company, or regulated industry?

Are you in a union?

I know it’s hard to see everyone in central london, I’m not going to insist on being seen for midwife appts at Tommys, I was just hoping to at least be seen at one of their community hubs in central london closer to work than in Deptford (which is not near my home or workplace). I don’t think it’s too unreasonable for those of us priced out of zone one and two to try and get appointments local to work if it’s possible, which I think it could be if I push back. Just wasn’t sure if I was being totally unreasonable in pushing back.

Part of the reason I’d rather deliver at Tommys is because my mum/brother can drive us there easily (3 min drive) whereas my partner and I are a 20 min drive from Lewisham hospital (and don’t have a car so would need a bus or taxi in a baby related emergency). So we’d relocate there anyway closer to the birth.

whataretheodds, I’m not in a union and work for a small private company which is regulated. Will keep things in writing as you say and keep notes (thanks for the tip!). Never had any issues from work over anything before, but it’s a challenging environment not typically forgiving of peoples private lives invading the workspace so want to try and align my maternity care with that as much as I can, and save my energy to fight any bigger battles I might need to face further down the line (childcare etc….).

Generally most women aren't having their routine midwife appointments at the hospital, they are community led.

There really aren't that many midwife appointments, you can schedule them first thing in the morning or at 5pm so either side of your work day and then you aren't taking half a day off. They are over in 5/10 mins.

I self-referred to St Thomas' as knew I'd be moving from north to south London towards the end of my pregnancy and as it was close to work. I asked to be seen at St Thomas' and was put under the care of the river team who seem to cover women out of area but in St Thomas'. I was always seen in the hospital or at the midwife centre a few mins walk away. This was 18 months ago. Give them a call and ask if it's possible. They then referred me to local health visitor team once I was home.

I have had 2 DC at Tommy's. The place they sent me for Antenatal appointments was actually way further from my home (a 45 min walk) than Tommy's itself (This was during lockdown so definitely didn't want to take public transport) and they switched me to midwife appointments at hospital (those not over the phone!)

it worked well .. but I would say that there are often quite long delays - you may be better off doing some travelling!

Look into ACAS and Pregnant then Screwed. Meanwhile keep smiling at work and when you tell them you're pregnant make sure you also tell them that you've deliberately made sure you cN get care and appointments at Tommy's to minimise travel time out of the working day.

You don't want them to think you're a pushover but it does no harm to get credit for your continued commitment

Thank you all for this advice, will definitely mention the hoops I’m jumping through when I tell work about the pregnancy, and try and speak to someone to see if I can get appts moved xx