What to expect! What you wish you did!

[NoThanksymm]

Hello Ladies!

what was the most shocking part of pregnancy? And child birth?

what do you wish you had done, or sincerely recommend doing before getting pregnant?

any pre-pregnancy workout recommendations?

unfortunately my care provider basically shrugged and told me to start taking folic acid once we start trying.

I wish I’d travelled more, gone to Aus.
And I wish I’d arranged for DH to pay into my pension when I was on maty leave.

I wish I'd not thought about pregnancy/labour as it all and planned better for post birth as that's the difficult bit

I wish I’d appreciated uninterrupted sleep before DD arrived. Sure I was tired and uncomfortable at the latter end of pregnancy, but those first few weeks, and to an extent the last nearly 8 months are relentless and I look back in envy at a time when I could sleep/nap whenever I wanted.

I definitely wished I'd slept more and made better use of my time.

I went to most of my midwife appointments alone (due to the time of day they were) no problem with this at all but last one I had was 2 weeks before due date and I came up as positive for pre eclampsia she told me to go up to the hospital to get checked out which I did.
That morning was my DH birthday and I was making him a cake. Kitchen was in a tip. The next time I would be home would be with the baby who was induced and born 2 days after DH birthday.

So if you're swelling at the feet and ankles and go to the midwife's close to your due date be aware you might not set foot in your home again until baby is ready to home. DH obviously sorted everything out and brought me up my bag when I told him but I'd gone alone and driven myself so no tv style waters breaking, ooh it's happening excited mother/ father action with him holding my hand. I was sat bored in hospital with some wires on my belly. She was absolutely fine when born but I was a bit worse off from blood loss and pre eclampsia

Don't ignore it and let midwives fob you off of you think it might be labour "oh you're 37 weeks it's braxton hicks" for 3 days.
In the end I asked to go in and be checked, I said I was happy to be sent back home. Ds arrived less than 20 minutes after getting to the hospital. My birth notes say labour was 3 minutes long.

Get some peppermint tea for your first poo or even some low dose laxatives. After my 2 c sections I'd felt like I was giving birth out of my bum hole and my god it hurt!!! If your breastfeeding you won't get milk instantly and baby will basically live on your boob making it impossible to get anything done. Chill as much as you can now, sleep, rest. You will be more exhausted than you ever thought was possible, sleep deprivation is real. I lost alot of friends after having my baby and definitely found out who my real friends were. The aftercare is also shocking once baby is out for me that was it, I was just forgotten about. Stock up on paracetamol and ibuprofen for pain releif (either type of birth) batch cook some easy meals now and get a travel mug for hot drinks and a big water bottle. Don't overpack or buy too many clothes in one size my baby came out alot bigger than expected and went straight into 0-3! Both times. Just realised I'm doing lots of negatives but it's amazing in your little baby bubble there really is no feeling like it!

Yes and when pregnant trust your gut and instinct if something isn't right/you feel it isn't. Push it!!

I wish I rested more before the baby arrived. Get everything bought and yourself organised as early as possible and enjoy the couple of weeks mat leave before birth (no long days out, seemed like a good idea but it knackered me).
Nap whenever you feel like it, watch your favourite shows and maybe some batch cooking/freezing meals if you feel up to it or ask your nearest and dearest to help with that.
Maybe book a grocery delivery to deliver some essentials to stock your cupboards with beforehand (pasta, tins , toiletries) so there's no need to be doing any nipping out in the first few days once home if your running low on anything.

I wish I hadn't panicked at the first twinge of pain. I was absolutely TERRIFIED and remember complaining that I hadn't been given gas and air while having 'contractions' that were similar to period pain. I was so on alert I became super sensitive to everything and panicked at every new thing that came my way. My second birth was much better as I kept reminding myself that until the pain was all-encompassing, I was nowhere near ready to pop and just tried to distract myself with tv (or, erm, singing showtunes at the top of my voice!).

I was on the hormone drip both times though and I've heard that that's much worse than doing it all yourself. I'm hoping birth #3 will be in a birthing pool but history is against me!

If you have a decent pregnancy yoga class near you, sign yourself up. Yoga and swimming got me fit enough to endure a 40hrs labour and push DS1 out in 22mins (I'm very proud, can you tell?!)

If I could go back and tell myself what to do, I’d say:
Take it easy in the last few weeks of pregnancy. Consider leaving work earlier than you anticipated. Walk immediately away from stressful situations/people. Take regular breaks. Sit down a lot. Aim to avoid constipation (I really suffered in the last few weeks of pregnancy, resulting in v v painful piles). Do all the housework and laundry before due date (or rather, get someone else to do it!). No visitors for the first week or so. No one to take photos with baby before you’ve had photos with baby. Line up people to help you and tell them explicitly what you need. Have lots of water bottles, snacks, first formula to hand. Treat yourself to some Charlie Bighams ready meals.

Thank you all!

I would take it easier and be less of a hero. This applies more to immediately after the birth really. I had a very strong urge to be up and about and was pleased not to be pregnant any more, but I wish I had spent more time just in bed, breastfeeding and watching netflix, and I kind of wish DH had stopped me from doing housework and cooking etc.

Treat yourself to a post-delivery massage when you’re ready.

Consider a sling for newborn cuddles on the go/when pottering around.

Go to those nice restaurants and bars with your partner before you have to choose child-friendlier places.

Not so positive but honest:

Try to avoid buying white baby clothes! Floral/patterned vests are better than white ones even.

Get the Squeezy app for your pelvic floor exercise reminders - during pregnancy too!

Do a big clean when the nesting instinct kicks in so the house is ready to welcome home a new baby and doesn’t need a clean for a while when you’ll be sleeping/resting/doing laundry/washing bottles whenever the baby naps. I really missed that nesting energy postpartum!

Batch cook. I was not prepared for the newborn days despite reading and watching everything and having babies in the family.

Don’t have your heart to set on a kind of birth. I did every hypnobirthing course out there, convinced I was having an unmedicated “natural” birth but then had an induction and emergency C-section. I was initially regretful but quickly realised how lucky I was to see my healthy daughter born safely.