Hi ladies
I wanted to pop a message on here about the recent things I've been through & how I'm now taking a long break from TTC my rainbow baby #2.. Recently, in May, I found out I was pregnant.. Which I was so over the moon about as we hadn't long started trying etc! I'm a very anxious pregnant woman, after a late loss & previous early loss.. I have one healthy DD earth side who is thriving..
In June/July my whole world was turned upside down, as the pregnancy ended up being a blighted ovum..I can't express the torture & hell of having absolutely everything there to grow a baby.. But no baby, my body telling me I'm pregnant, symptoms no bleeding nothing to give the slightest hint of anything being wrong.. To all the mamas out there going through that, I send you my biggest love, you will torture yourself, you will google the hell out of everything... You will even turn to forums etc like this for any glimmer of hope.. & I hope it does come out a happy ending but if not, please don't give up ❤️
After this passing naturally, & being told by professionals we were able to try as soon as I felt upto it.. We did, perhaps stupidly, because in my head I just wanted my rainbow 🌈 😞 it was all I focused on, & I did fall pregnant again.. which happened to turn out to be another early loss.. Or chemical even. My body clearly wasn't ready, although I know there's women out there who have fallen quickly & been totally fine. Unfortunately not this story
So I wanted to say.. Before I went I see you ladies, I see your hundreds of tests, your anxious nights laying awake, your tears, your brave masks you wear daily when inside your world is crumbling.. Please know, those two little lines mean something as soon as they appear & your little one wasn't just 'not meant to be' or 'gods way of telling you' or some other bullshit people will say to make you feel better because they will! It was your world in that moment, & you'll never forget that.
No matter how small ❤️ Keep on going, eventually behind the storm your rainbow will come🌈 & you'll see it is worth it..
Sorry this is a bit deep..But I had to put that out there. & I wish you all healthy happy times ahead with all my heart!
🥰 x