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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Pregnancy after loss

25 replies

virgo22 · 20/08/2023 20:49

I have just found out I'm pregnant with baby #2 after having multiple MC's after having my first.

I am roughly 10 DPO so technically haven't missed my period yet (due Thursday). I haven't even told my partner yet, as much as I want to get my hopes up I have so much trauma/anxiety due to the recent losses.

Any advice or tips from anyone who's been through similar. Also Is there anyone I could talk to, GP etc.
Thanks x

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Shrillwaffle · 20/08/2023 20:52

I feel you OP ♥️ I lost a baby last year at 23+5 and I’m now currently 16 weeks pregnant I am truly truly terrified all the time (I do have previous MH issues anyway) the one thing I keep thinking is I have to go through this if we want our family. You are never alone 💜 🌈

Original poster
virgo22 · 20/08/2023 20:58

@Shrillwaffle oh I'm so sorry to hear this, how truly heartbreaking 💔. That is so true. I think I am going to wait until I miss my period as I don't want to get my OH's hopes up too soon 😢 sending love and a healthy rest of your pregnancy x

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Shrillwaffle · 20/08/2023 21:03

@virgo22 maybe you should share your feelings and what’s going on anyway? You can talk to them about how you’re feeling and I’m sure they’ll feel the same as you. I always said I know exactly what my husband is going through because I’m going through exactly the same so we had each other and knew each other actually understood. I was taking a test every month after then thought I need to stop doing this, didn’t for about 3 months then it happened. Me and my husband said we would wait till it hit 7 days missed period then I took one. I hope you get the news you deserve ♥️

needanotherhol · 20/08/2023 21:15

I'm currently pregnant with my first child after MMCs. I was recommended a book called pregnancy after loss by Zoe Clark- Coates. It really helped in the first trimester to keep the hope. Fingers crossed for you OP x

Babydust84 · 25/08/2023 04:58

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teenysaladandsniffofarose · 25/08/2023 06:17

Currently in the same boat, I had 2 miscarriages so was absolutely terrified this time round but I'm currently 14 weeks and starting to relax a bit.

Unfortunately miscarriage is so common😢but Most women go on to have a healthy pregnancy so try and stay positive and look after yourself!Flowers

Original poster
virgo22 · 25/08/2023 08:55

@needanotherhol thank you so much I think I'll look at gettingn this to read as it sounds like it will help. Sorry to hear you've been through the same and I wish you a healthy pregnancy 💜

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Original poster
virgo22 · 25/08/2023 08:58

@teenysaladandsniffofarose congratulations, 14 weeks is amazing. I bet the scan was so magical too. Really trying to remain positive this time around. My partner and I have one child and that was a straightforward pregnancy so I'm really hoping my body can do it again fingers crossed. Thank you for the reply x

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rosed1008 · 25/08/2023 09:05

You sound like me! I had my daughter with no issues then 2 miscarriages and a tfmr and weirdly 2 weeks after my surgical tfmr and whilst still bleeding I conceived my now terror of a toddler. I still do not understand it to this day. Your body can do it again, these things are predominantly out of our control. Pregnancy after loss can send you a bit mad (understandably) so do what you need to do to keep sane. I liked little milestones that made no sense to others but myself. I was a bit traumatised by scans so didnt have too many of them but also booked random ones if I needed reassurance. The biggest piece of advice is to be honest with you partner, I had some times where i was fine but other times where i felt awfully anxious and being open with it at home helped. Good luck 🤞🏻

Original poster
virgo22 · 25/08/2023 09:44

@rosed1008 thank you so so much for sharing. Although it's the worst thing in the world to go through, it's comforting to know there's light at the end of the tunnel and it could all work out just fine. Thank you again, this gives me hope x

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Original poster
virgo22 · 05/09/2023 15:04

@needanotherhol just wanted to thank you for recommending this book it's really helping me through. 6 weeks today and feeling grateful for everyday that I'm pregnant. I still can't wait for that first scan although I know how anxious I'll be feeling!

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LittleAm · 17/09/2023 15:03

Hello, not sure if anyone is still on this thread. I’m currently pregnant for the 3rd time. I’m almost 5 weeks. All have been IVF. Last 2 pregnancies have ended around 6-7 weeks, when we’ve gone for the 7 week scan I’ve been measuring behind and heart had stopped by 8 weeks at follow up scan. I’m so frightened and I can’t get out of this feeling

Original poster
virgo22 · 17/09/2023 20:07

@LittleAm sorry to hear about your previous losses, pregnancy after loss is so difficult.
I am 7+5 today and the only advice I can offer is to take each day as it comes. It's so hard to not be a nervous wreck, but tell yourself that you are pregnant and enjoy each day knowing that.
I had an early reassurance scan this week with the NHS and that has helped me massively.

The pregnancy after loss book is also helping too. I also keep telling myself that every pregnancy is different.

Sending love and feel free to check in on here as it is comforting to know there's people to speak to who have been through the same.
Wishing you a healthy pregnancy xx

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LittleAm · 21/09/2023 05:53

Thank you so much for replying. I’ve completely unravelled due to anxiety. Literally overnight my boobs aren’t as sore and I’m not peeing as much. I can’t help thinking I’ve miscarried and this is my hormones dropping. We are going on holiday on Saturday for 2 weeks and my scan is when we come back. I’m devastated this will be our 3rd loss x

Original poster
virgo22 · 21/09/2023 07:02

@LittleAm it's so normal for symptoms to come and go, please try and not think the worst. Would you be able to get a scan before you go on holiday just to put your mind at ease? Xx

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LittleAm · 21/09/2023 07:41

Thank you @virgo22 they said they won’t do an early scan as I’m only 5 weeks which I understand. I’ve gone from my boobs hurting when I walk (they’re big anyway!) and taking off my bra to a noticeable change. Feel like this will be my 3rd loss xx

Original poster
virgo22 · 21/09/2023 07:55

@LittleAm oh I see! Honestly, I would really try not to worry (I know easier said than done). I had no symptoms at 5 weeks other than a missed period. Tell yourself that each pregnancy is different. Try and enjoy your holiday, that will definitely help the weeks to fly by. I remember wishing I could fast forward time, and even now as I have 4 weeks until I get to 12 weeks but unfortunately you just have to ride it out :(. Take it easy - you will get through it and it'll be time for your scan before you know it x

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Shrillwaffle · 22/09/2023 11:35

Goodness I feel exactly the same ladies every morning I wake up and I’m convinced my babies died 😢 how am I supposed to get through another 4 months like this? 😫

Shrillwaffle · 22/09/2023 11:35

And I found out we’re having a girl two days ago

Original poster
virgo22 · 22/09/2023 14:04

@Shrillwaffle I really thought it might get a little bit easier the further along you get 😫 how far are you, can you feel baby move yet?
Congratulations on having a little girl. I'm sure everything is fine - just our anxious minds messing with us 😢

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Shrillwaffle · 23/09/2023 10:30

@virgo22 yes I can feel her move not constantly but definitely doing somersaults down there. It makes it hard because when there’s a break in the movement I get so scared 😩 how are you doing? Did you tell your partner?

Original poster
virgo22 · 23/09/2023 20:32

@Shrillwaffle oh bless you, I'm sure something sugary on a quiet day might do the trick 😅. I know what you mean though as it's just a constant worry.
Yes I did and he was so happy. I'll be 9 weeks on Tuesday. Had an early reassurance scan last week and I hope I can have another before the 12 week one. I can't stop eating so I honestly thought there would be two! X

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Shrillwaffle · 23/09/2023 20:44

So happy to hear that and I knew he’d be happy plus now you can talk and support each other. I hope all goes well for your 12 week scan, they always tell me if you’re worried come down so do the same. I’m trying to be as patient as humanly possible because I don’t want to be down there every day (I would if I could). Tbh if I could lie down and be hooked up to an ultrasound 24/7 till they’re here I would

LittleAm · 29/09/2023 09:29

Hi @virgo22 thanks so much for replying. We made it to spain, but when we were getting ready to leave I went to the bathroom after feeling ‘weird’ and my liner had lots of dark brown and some red blood. That was on Saturday and nothing else since. So I think it’s a miscarriage, although there was no more bleeding. My scan is October 9th but think it’s safe to say that this has already ended x

Original poster
virgo22 · 29/09/2023 12:34

@LittleAm oh I’m so sorry that must have been scary. That happened to my sister though and her baby was fine (now 3 years old). She had something called a hematoma and had quite a bit of bleeding. perhaps it could be similar?
sending love and hoping your scan date comes around quickly xx

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