Abortion or not?

[Confused1015]

Abortion or not?

im currently 5+3 weeks pregnant and am scheduled for a medical abortion on Monday! Since finding out I have been back and forth about abortion constantly!

im 27 and have a 3 year old who is amazing and I love her with all my heart. Myself and my partner were using contraception but it failed the reason we didn’t want another baby so soon is because we are currently living with my parents and aren’t financially where we want to be at the moment our plan was to live here for a couple more years until we can buy our own home. We are living comfortably money-wise most weeks but there’s also weeks we are living pay check to pay check, we’ve both got debts that are being sorted but we both have great stable jobs.

We did always want to eventually have another baby but is the timing just so wrong or am I fixing a temporary problem with a permanent solution? I feel like I will regret this as long as I live but at the same time it maybe the best decision for my family now.

Partner and parents are all very supportive and have said they will support me no matter what I choose to do! But I just can’t decide if going on Monday will be the right decision for me someone please help me!!

OP what a difficult position to be in I am sorry you are going through this but glad you have supportive family. Others might disagree with me but in my view there is never a "right time" to have a baby. You could spend days weeks months years waiting until you are in a "better" position and then something else could come up because life is just like that nothing is ever perfect. Also I think with something like abortion you have to be completely sure about it - if you have any doubts in your mind then you might end up living in regret.

Hi op it's definitely a tricky situation personally for me I couldn't have an abortion not unless there was something seriously wrong with me or baby but that's just how I've always felt

You will live with regret and brokenness and grief for the rest of your life and never forget it. Please don't do it. Much love ❤️

Not necessarily. I personally have never had an abortion, but I know people who have had an abortion and it was absolutely the right decision for them, and they don't regret it. My advice op would speak to your partner and others around you in real life.

I had an abortion with child 3 and regretted it badly it broke me even though I later understood why I had it done. But still got pregnant 3 months later and still wanted to abort because I couldn't hack the sickness but I didn't and persevered. I'm glad I didn't because she's the most beautiful thing I've been blessed with. I think around 3 weeks after she was born I had abit of a panick attack remembering the baby I aborted and I felt really sad but realised I wouldn't have the baby I have now had I not had the abortion. Sorry I'm just giving you my experience and one perspective.

I think with you since it's baby no 2 it's manageable. I had the same with one and two and it was great! Wish I left a year longer between 2 and 3. But obviously it's your choice. Just think about how you might feel after you have the abortion and look into it! I wish I did!

I totally disagree with this.
You have to make the right decision for you. If you can't put a roof over a child's head then. Now isn't perhaps the time.

Not ideal given you're living in cramped conditions. OTOH sounds like there'll be plenty of willing hands to help out with both of them?

I think if you are questioning the procedure you probably need a bit more time to think about your decision. The only thing I would say really is to make sure that you and your partner both want the same thing as I know that a termination can put a huge stress on your relationship and if one person wants something different there may be a resentment. Hope you are ok

Abortion does not lead to regret and life long grief for the majority of women.
You are young and need to calmly consider the best way to achieve happiness for you and your DD.

I had an abortion and three children. It's never bothered me at all and I have certainly not had 'a life time of regret' in fact I have had zero regret. For me it was the right decision at the right time. As was my decision to have children.

@awfullytricky @Maddy70 @Tiredmum100

The OP has asked advice/poll for varying answers/points of view. I have offered said advice/poll. You don't have to agree but that's your own opinion. I have mine and have shared as requested.

As was given .... can't do the poll as its not on the android app.

I'm sorry if that's your own experience but please don't tell OP it's what she will feel.

OP if you're already living hand to mouth then you won't be able to turn the clock back on continuing with this pregnancy however hard things get. Have you had any counselling from the clinic where you're booked in?