Not feeling like myself - will I come back?

[ShitImPregnant]

Hi all,

I'm 10+4 with my first child, never been pregnant before. 31 years old.

I'm not sure how to put this into words, but I just don't feel like me whilst pregnant. I'm also really struggling with morning sickness that lasts all day.

I usually love my job, but I'm distracted and exhausted and am getting very little done each day.

I usually love food, but every meal is a battle now and I'm gagging constantly, if not actually throwing up.

What's worrying me most is that being pregnant and pregnancy is consuming every one of my waking moments. I feel so terrible, everything aches and between the nausea and the physical symptoms, all these feelings are demanding to be felt. Feels like everything else in my life has had to take a backseat and it's getting me down mentally.

Does anyone else understand feeling like this? Is it just a first trimester thing, or will I feel like this throughout? Will I ever feel like me again?

Honestly 9-10 weeks is the worst for morning sickness (statistically the worst, not just my opinion). But if you're struggling, the GP can help with antisickness tablets, I found these really helped.

And the exhaustion should start to improve soon as well. Although I never got any second trimester glow or anything, I definitely was nowhere near as tired.

I think it's probably quite normal to be a bit distracted, especially if you're feeling shit and are tired! It's hard to take your mind off that. But when you say that the thoughts are consuming every waking moment, what kind of thoughts do you mean? If you're feeling really stressed and anxious it might be worth talking to your midwife. But if you mean more distracted thoughts about babies and pregnancy generally, then I think that's probably normal.

Feels like everything else in my life has had to take a backseat

The first trimester is rough, and you might need to focus on resting etc for a few more weeks until you hopefully start feeling better. I genuinely had a breakdown during my first trimester (both times!) but it did get better.

Sounds pretty normal. Most people bounce back in the second tri. First trimester for me is pretty much like having a two-month bout of flu you have to stoic through without telling anyone about whilst worrying like mad if you ever feel better for a day. God I'm glad I'm never doing it again

I feel like I could have written this!
Had exactly the same experience in the first trimester - agree with other posters, it does get easier. I was still super low until 14/15 weeks but after that I’ve felt much more adjusted and feel like my brain has returned. I’m still consumed by it but I’m able to lose myself in other stuff and hold a conversation that doesn’t 100% focus on how weird I’m feeling 😅
It feels like a lifetime, but it does speed up and you’ll start to feel better again. If you notice that your mood doesn’t improve or that you’re really struggling, let your midwife know - they can support you x

Thank you both, this is really reassuring.

Not consumed by anxiety at all actually. Not worried about the baby, not worried about giving birth or anything like that - it's just that I'm finding myself 60 minutes deep into articles about brain development, on the 3rd ep of one born in a row etc.

It's almost information overload and I want my brain to give me a rest (plus my body to stop feeling sick!).

Think you're both right though, think it's normal, albeit tough, first trimester stuff.

I also think it's exacerbated by the speed at which I got pregnant - first cycle - when I thought I'd have longer to get my head around trying.

A lot to be grateful for really, in spite of it all.

I really do get that. Even on good days without symptoms I didn't feel like me. It was a really weird displaced feeling. But I felt like me again the second I gave birth, and I had a lot of better days after the first trimester too

about giving birth or anything like that - it's just that I'm finding myself 60 minutes deep into articles about brain development, on the 3rd ep of one born in a row etc.

Haha the day I found out I was pregnant the first time I watched about 5 episodes of that back to back while simultaneously wondering why I was torturing myself by watching it!

Yes I feel the same. I can’t focus on work, don’t want to socialise, feel sick, can’t sleep very well and can’t think about anything apart from how sick and tired I feel. I wish I could distract myself but the ever-present nausea is a constant reminder. I’m only 7 weeks and don’t know how I’ll cope for around another 6! X

It's normal, it's horrible, you will forget it in about six months time and focus instead on being very very tired.

Truthfully, the answer is both yes and no. You'll feel far better than you currently do. But you won't ever feel exactly the same as before you were pregnant. Many women don't feel chronically worse, but as an older mother I would say that I've never really recovered from my second pregnancy. Never been as fit, as energetic, as competent of pelvic floor.

Really feel for you too. So far week 9 has been the worst by a long way. Comforting to know I'm not alone, feel very isolated as I'm the first of my friends to get pregnant.

hi there - I can totally relate to how you are feeling. I described it the same way as just not feeling like me at all.... it has got better (I am now 31 weeks) but if I was totally honest, it has been a really tough mental learning curve pregnancy and not the rainbows and excitement I had thought it might be. I am so grateful to be pregnant - we had a MMC just before this pregnancy and jumped straight back into TTC and fell quickly as I felt I'd never feel better until I was pregnant again,... ultimately I probably should have processed more and allowed my mental health time to heal but we are where we are. It's tough, I find it tough daily - agree with you this feels so isolating but so many people are feeling the same, don't feel alone, or wrong, or like you're being ungrateful. These feelings are normal, they should be temporary. Xxxxxx

after the initial 12-14 weeks I found I did have more energy and more motivation to do things / see people but that's dipped again since hitting 30 weeks xx

sending love - it's tough out here!❤️

I hated every minute of pregnancy. I'm 2 weeks pp with my gorgeous baby and feel so much more like myself again! Hang in there! :)

I'm 7 weeks and feel like hell. Really hoping I'll be better by the end of September

YES TOTALLY feel the same.. it's the worst... if you have heavy nausea all day it's awful.. combine that with tiredness and you just feel like - sh*t... definitely gets me down too. I think it's totally normal - some peoples hormones are higher than others and we are all different. Be kind to yourself, you are growing a whole human... it's a lot.. just rest and maybe ask the doctor for some anti sickness medication... suck and crunch on ice cubes... coconut water is also excellent xx